


Back to How it Was

by lululawrence



Series: Wibbly Wobbly [1]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, Hiatus, Kinda, M/M, No Smut, OT4 Friendship, Parallel Universes, Pining, Sharing a Bed, Time Travel, it's all, it's really quite difficult to explain, kind of, wibbly wobbly timey wimey stuff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-19
Updated: 2018-04-19
Packaged: 2019-04-25 01:43:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 52,669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14368197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lululawrence/pseuds/lululawrence
Summary: Harry carefully stood up and was on his way to the window to look outside when he ran his hand through his hair, and it stopped entirely too soon.He froze then began fervently patting all over his head. Where was his hair? He’d been growing it out for a couple of years now and it was finally almost to the length he’d had as a goal the entire time. How could it have gotten cut off overnight?Harry rushed over to the mirror hung on the wall adjacent to the window.Oh shit. What the hell was happening? Harry leaned closer and saw that not only was his hair cropped shorter than he’d ever wanted to go again, but it looked like he had the beginning of crow’s feet by his eyes. Those definitely weren’t there yesterday! And what happened to his tattoos? He still had some of them, like the star and the letters he’d gotten for his mum and Gemma, but most of the rest were missing and there were a few he’d never seen before instead.What. The. Fuck.Or the one where Harry goes to bed angry with his bandmates and wakes up in a universe where One Direction was never formed and he has to find a way back home. Home definitely has nothing to do with his best friend and bandmate, Louis. That would be ridiculous.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, i'm sitting here trying not to cry as I get this ready to load because this fic is my baby. I started brainstorming it in the fall of 2015 and this is it's third reincarnation that finally came about thanks to NaNoWriMo last November, and after tons of editing, freaking out, and just running about like a crazy woman, it's finally here for you and I can't figure out if I'm excited or nervous as fuck, but c'est la vie.
> 
> I couldn't have done it without so many people I know I'm going to forget some. First and biggest thanks to my betas. [Bri](http://briannamarguerite.tumblr.com), [Bec](http://tositandadmire.tumblr.com), and [Molly](becomeawendybird.tumblr.com), you three are amazing and the best and the most supportive. Thank you so much as well for not being afraid to rip it apart even when I didn't want to fix what you told me to lol. Biggest thanks also go to the magical [KK](http://catfishau.tumblr.com) for the Brit Picking! this fic would have been a strange hodgepodge of American and British slop if not for you. Thank you also to my numerous writing chats that all let me scream at them and complain and send snippets through the whole process. I adore all of you. As per usual, even after all of that, all remaining mistakes are my own.
> 
> After all of this, can you believe I also got the incredible [Laura](http://harrehleh.tumblr.com) claimed this for her amazing art? I cried when I found out and nearly did again every time she showed me art she had done for it. Thank you so much for sharing your gift and helping my fic come to life through your abilities.
> 
> The title of this fic comes from a song called This is Home by Switchfoot which is also ridiculously fitting for the story as a whole, so feel free to give it a listen if you'd like.
> 
> Okay. I think that's everything. I think I'm FINALLY ready to put this thing out into the world. I hope you love it and it gives you some entertainment. Enjoy!

**May 2015**

Harry threw himself back onto his bed and looked out the windows that lined the wall. The sun was beginning to set and the sky was a riot of colours, reflecting Harry’s mood.

“Niall, I thought we had agreed to a year off from touring so we could have a break and then give ourselves some time to make an album like we wanted. What happened to that plan?”

Harry heard Niall sigh through the line.

“Harry, we just think all of us need a year to do what we want to do,” Niall said, his voice placating. Harry hated when his voice got that tone. “Give us a chance to just breathe a little and let everything that’s been happening for the past five years sink in, you know?”

Harry clenched his jaw and shifted his gaze to the high ceilings in his bedroom. He’d loved that about this place when he bought it. Now he felt like it was too much space to let his anger fill.

“We? All of us? Did all of you come to this decision without me, then?”

Niall remained silent. Harry couldn’t even hear him breathing. That was answer enough, wasn’t it? Either that or he was too busy making his early morning breakfast to respond.

“Fine. Whatever. I’ll see you next week, Ni.” Harry hit end call before Niall could say anything and with a scream of anger threw his phone across the room. He didn’t hear it hit anything, which was good. He didn’t really feel like emailing Janel to let her know he needed a new one because he had been throwing a temper tantrum.

Harry took the deepest breath he was capable of and then released it with the loudest yell he could possibly force out until his throat felt like it was torn to pieces. At least they were still on break between tour legs, so no one could yell at him about ruining his voice.

Harry rolled onto his side and stared at the box containing the Gucci sunnies he was supposed to wear for his pap walk in the morning. Fuck, he didn’t want to go. The lads weren’t meant to join him in LA for at least another week and there was plenty keeping the band in the headlines.

That wasn’t really what was bothering him, though. Of course it wasn’t. What was bothering him was the fact that Harry had been pushing for time off just as much as the other boys. He was part of the reason they’d decided to take a two-month break between legs in the tour with the excuse of needing to rebuild themselves as a group of four instead of five. Harry knew they were all near breaking point thanks to the relentless pace they’d kept up ever since The X Factor.

Harry had found, though, after only a month away from the lads, that he felt lost without them. Like he didn’t have anything grounding him. And _that_ scared the shit out of Harry. If he felt this way after only being on break for a month, how was he going to feel after a year?

Just as Harry was about to sink into a deep, dark hole from which nothing good would come, he heard his phone beep. Apparently its trip across the room had turned the ringer back on. Fantastic.

Harry rolled himself haphazardly off the bed and saw it sitting just outside his bedroom door. Impressive, considering he’d thrown it laying down.

Taking a deep breath, Harry leaned over and picked it up off the floor. Before looking at it, he walked back into his bedroom and threw himself down on the sofa. It was one of his magical finds at the antique store, and it’s overstuffed cushions would give him the hug he so desperately needed right now.

 **_Louis:_ ** _Don’t be mad at Niall, H. We didn’t leave you out of the discussions on purpose. It happened when we were talking one on one. We just all feel like we could use a break from all of this and maybe each other a bit too. You get that, right?_

Harry stared at his phone for a minute and saw Louis was typing again. God. How did he get to be so screwed up that he didn’t know who he was outside of the band?

 **_Louis:_ ** _We love you, H. We’re your brothers. We just need some time to ourselves, and I think you need that too._

Harry rolled his eyes. Louis was right. Of course he was. He was Harry’s best friend and knew him better than Harry knew himself most days.

 **_Harry:_ ** _I know. Still not happy about it, though._

With that, he put his phone on Do Not Disturb, and rolled onto his side. It wasn’t even close to the time that Harry usually went to bed, but after a day like today, he didn’t really give a fuck. He needed some time to recover, and sleep would give him that.

 

*~~***~~*

 

Harry sat up, his heart trying to beat out of his chest thanks to the loud knocking on his door.

“Harry, I swear to God, if you sleep through another meeting, Logan is going to kill you!”

Gemma? What was Gemma doing here? And holy shit was it cold. Why was it so cold? And who the fuck was Logan?

“Harry, do you hear me? You little shit, get up!”

Harry cleared his throat and rubbed the heel of his hands into his eyes.

“I’m up!” he finally called, sounding only a little bit like there was a frog in his throat. Progress.

“Good. We’ve gotta leave in twenty minutes if we’re gonna get there on time. You know how late the tube keeps running.”

“The tube?” Harry whispered to himself when he finally opened his eyes. He looked around and dread began to pool in his stomach.

He didn’t know this room. He’d never been here before in his life. What was going on?

When Harry moved his legs he heard paper rustling and it was then he finally took in the bed he was on. It was completely covered with photographs of a pride parade. Some looked like they were in London, but others were definitely from different cities. All of them were captured beautifully, though, and the person who had developed them chose to make the photos black and white outside of the various pride flags. It was powerful and beautiful and Harry was at a loss as to why he was sleeping amongst all of them.

Harry carefully stood up and was on his way to the window to look outside when he ran his hand through his hair, and it stopped entirely too soon.

He froze then began fervently patting all over his head. Where was his hair? He’d been growing it out for a couple of years now and it was finally almost to the length he’d had as a goal the entire time. How could it have gotten cut off overnight?

Harry rushed over to the mirror hung on the wall adjacent to the window.

Oh shit. What the hell was happening? Harry leaned closer and saw that not only was his hair cropped shorter than he’d ever wanted to go again, but it looked like he had the beginning of crow’s feet by his eyes. Those definitely weren’t there yesterday! And what happened to his tattoos? He still had some of them, like the star and the letters he’d gotten for his mum and Gemma, but most of the rest were missing and there were a few he’d never seen before instead.

What. The. Fuck.

Harry gripped his belly where it had some flab and no defined abs like there should have been, nearly in tears. What was going on?

As Harry’s hands moved back to his hair, his eyes searched the room in panic and they landed on an ancient Apple laptop sitting open on the desk. Harry went over to wake it up and it was locked. Of course it was. Damn it.

Wait. It supposedly belonged to him, so maybe he could guess the password. What was the one he’d been using when he joined the band? Harry stood there, tapping his foot impatiently at himself, as he bent over with his hands braced on the desk. His cat! Dusty!

He typed in _dusty,_ hit enter, and the computer unlocked. God, Harry really needed to tell his dream self-- or whoever was living in this reality-- to change his passwords every few years. He was smiling and about to pat himself on the back when his eyes zeroed in on the date on the calendar icon. 14 November? He’d skipped six months between going to sleep and waking up? And he’d transported himself to a random and mysterious flat in London?

Harry clicked the calendar and he felt his blood run cold because the year absolutely could _not_ be right. There was no possible way Harry had woken up in 2018.

“Harry? Are you almost ready? You’re slower than molasses today.”

Shit. Gemma.

“Uh, what meeting is this for again, Gems?” Harry called out. He was dressed-- apparently this Harry had fallen asleep in his clothes from yesterday-- but Harry figured a meeting required something a bit nicer than ripped jeans and an old jumper.

“It’s our weekly staff meeting, idiot. And stop fussing with your clothes and hair. You know Logan thinks you’re fit no matter what and won’t care how you look.”

Staff meeting? Shit, does this Harry have a boyfriend? What the hell was Harry supposed to do about that if he couldn’t remember anything about this life?

Maybe this was all a dream. A fucked up, trippy dream. Maybe his subconscious knew how freaked out he’d been over the extended hiatus plans that Niall and Louis had talked to him about and somehow sent him here in a dream thinking it would be better.

It really wasn’t better. And apparently it really wasn’t a dream because when Harry pinched his arm, it definitely hurt. Fuck.

Harry ran to the wardrobe and saw a great selection of shirts. Excellent. At least this Harry still had some good taste. He grabbed a simple pink shirt with white polka dots and found a nicer pair of black jeans than the ones he was wearing. That should do nicely. He grabbed a pair of boots and finally chanced opening his bedroom door so he could brush his teeth.

He raised his eyes from his hands and was met with a wall of framed photographs. As he looked closer he realised they were places that had always been on his bucket list to visit, but due to circumstances or security issues, he’d never made it to them. Der Zwinger in Dresden, Notre Dame in Paris, even Arches National Park in Utah. The photos were stunning and made Harry’s longing to see them even more pronounced.

“Haz. Stop staring at your own photos like a damn narcissist and get ready or I’m going to leave without you and feed you to the wolves.”

Harry pointed at the Zwinger. “I’ve been there?”

Gemma flipped her hair, worn in a short, light pink bob, and walked to the door.

“Clean your damn teeth and let’s go. I don’t have time for your shit today.”

Harry blinked and tried to pull himself together. This version of himself had been living a completely different life and he knew nothing about it. What the hell?

Harry went and closed himself in the toilet before pulling out his phone. At least it looked like it unlocked with his thumbprint. That was new, but also incredibly convenient because now he wouldn’t have to worry about messing up the passcode. He immediately went to his texts and began to scroll, looking for his most recent conversation with Liam, Niall, or Louis. Any of them would do at this point.

The problem was, as he kept scrolling, he found that none of them were in there. Not a single text with any of the boys. Harry went to his contacts and looked for Louis first. He’d get a right kick out of Harry going crazy like this. Except there wasn’t a single Louis Tomlinson in there. The closest Harry could find was a Logan Thompson. Shit. Next he tried Liam, same result, and again with Niall.

“Oh God,” Harry groaned as he leaned his head into his hands. “What am I going to do?”

“Harry, are you okay? You don’t sound so good.”

Harry wasn’t. He really wasn’t okay. His stomach was roiling and he felt dizzy from the fact that apparently this version of himself had never met the three people who possibly knew him better than his own family.

“I don’t think I can make the meeting, Gem,” Harry somehow fought out before throwing himself to the floor just in time to retch into the toilet.

“Oh no, I didn’t realise you were sick,” Gemma said, her mothering voice coming into play now. Harry always found it quite condescending, but at this point he didn’t care as long as she just left him alone and allowed him to try to process what was going on. “I’m sorry I was being so hard earlier. Okay, I’ll let Logan know you’re worse for wear and I’ll take notes for you. Get some rest, okay?”

“Thanks,” Harry groaned as he laid his cheek against the cold porcelain of the tub beside him.

Harry needed to figure out a plan. He needed to learn more about this Harry and his story and find where his own story had diverged. Then he needed to figure out what was going on with the other three lads. And then...well. Then he’d sleep and hope he woke up back in LA in his own time, with his own life. If he didn’t, he would go from there. Right.

Harry pulled himself up off of the floor, flushed the toilet, and washed his hands, face, and mouth before heading back to his room.

In all honesty, the room was exactly his style. It was light and airy with as much natural light as London could muster with bright colors used as accents, but only sparingly. It felt cosy, comfortable, and lived in. It felt like a safe space. For that, Harry was glad.

Harry sat down at the desk and woke up the laptop again. Time to do some research.

 

*~~***~~*

 

Harry shut his laptop in frustration before groaning and leaning his head on top of it.

His searches had been successful, but now he felt even more fucked. It seemed Harry had still gone on to try out for The X Factor-- as had Louis, Liam, Zayn, and Niall-- but Louis and Niall hadn’t made it past bootcamp. Harry and Zayn had been cut at judges houses and Liam had been one of the first to be eliminated once live shows came around.

After that, Harry went back to do his A-Levels and attend uni. He now apparently worked at an up-and-coming online publication with his sister, where he wrote articles and took photos.

As for the others… Harry was a bit floored to be honest. After googling and tracking down their social media, he found that Louis was a Public Relations Manager for West Bromwich Albion FC. His Twitter was locked down tight, as was his Facebook, likely because of his position held with a Premier League club, but at least he was somewhat nearby and seemed to be doing well for himself.

Liam had his own music production company based out of Manchester. He worked with all sorts of artists varying from Adele to Stormzy, even Drake. Harry nearly cried he was laughing so hard thinking about how _his_ Liam would feel about helping work production with some of his favorite artists. His social media was a mess, but Harry had fun looking at all of the selfies and shirtless gym videos he constantly posted.

Niall was, of course, the free bird. Harry could see him in any number of professions, but the one this Niall had apparently chosen was that of a Promoter. He flew all around the world and tweeted about club openings, special performances and events, and anything else the various owners wished to advertise. If Niall promoted it all on his Instagram and Twitter, it looked to be a huge success. Because of that, Harry actually had no idea what he appeared to have as his home base, though he was in London, Dublin, and Miami most often.

Harry wanted to reach out to them, but what would he say? What would his reasoning be? At this point, Harry didn’t even know what difference it would make if he did. All he knew was something inside of him, his conscience or his very own Jiminy Cricket or whatever it was, was saying the boys were key to getting Harry back where he belonged. Maybe all he needed to do was get his best friends all together in the same room again. Or, even better, back where it all began for them: at Robin’s bungalow.

As the plan began to solidify in Harry’s head, he knew this was going to be harder than he would like and would probably be time consuming. But it would be worth it. It had to be. He needed to get back home.

 


	2. Chapter 2

*~~***~~*

 

“Hey, I’m glad you got some rest. You worried me with how pale you were this morning,” Gemma said softly as she set a bag that smelled heavenly on Harry’s desk. Harry sat up and scrubbed at his eyes. He hadn’t meant to fall asleep on the bed-- _his_ bed, he supposed-- surrounded by Pride photos again. Well. That answered the question of whether just going to sleep again was enough to get him back to his reality.

Harry offered a smile. He wasn’t sure how he was supposed to act around Gemma. Did he tell her the truth? She’d probably figure it out eventually. He would have no way of knowing anything about his projects, or job, or how to use the multiple fancy cameras he only had a somewhat working knowledge of that sat on the shelves in his closet. That was all without even getting started on his own personal history since The X Factor. That was eight years Harry had absolutely no memory of. Gemma was bound to notice something at some point.

“Are you feeling any better, now that you’ve had some rest? Do you think it’s a stomach flu?” Gemma sat beside Harry and put her hand to his forehead. “You don’t feel warm.”

“No, I think I was just thrown off this morning and the shock of everything was what made me sick.”

Gemma’s dark brows came together. His sister’s face was so expressive, he’d always loved that about her.

“Thrown off by what?” she asked. It was fair of her to do so, really. As far as Harry could tell, today had been a somewhat normal day for her and, by her understanding, Harry. If only she knew her Harry wasn’t the one sitting beside her now.

Harry pursed his lips and shook his head. She wouldn’t believe him anyway. Maybe later, when he’d figured out a good way to explain it all.

Gemma’s eyes were calculating and she clearly wasn’t appeased, but was letting him get away with not saying anything for now.

“Well. I brought you your favourite soup from the market. It’s fresh, so eat it while it’s hot.” She stood up and ruffled his hair before walking to the door of his room. “And you better believe you’re going to spill everything before film night tonight.”

Harry’s eyes widened but she closed his bedroom door before he could say anything. Film night? Who was involved in that? Were they expected to go elsewhere? Were they the hosts? Who was Harry going to have to pretend to know? What if they were watching a film that technically hadn’t even been made yet where he came from but it happens to be this Harry’s favourite? There were so many ways Harry could fuck this up. Maybe he should just pretend he’s ill again. Actually, at this point, he might not have to fake it. Again.

Rolling over and groaning, Harry’s breath and movement caused the photos around him to shuffle a bit until one flipped over onto his face. He swiped it away and was about to discard it when he noticed a very familiar pair of blue eyes looking at him.

Harry studied the photo diligently. It had to be...right? Wispy caramel hair worn down and soft, the reddish scruff he loved to sport when he was feeling lazy, the deeper, but no less loved, crinkles by his eyes from his wide smile. Harry had a photo of Louis Tomlinson at a London Pride Parade sitting beside him on the bed.

It was then a light went off. This was his ticket, a way to start a conversation with Louis and hopefully from there he could find a way to reach out to the others. The question was, how? Harry pulled out his phone and went back to the Twitter app. Louis hadn’t approved his follow request. Of course not, why would he? It wasn’t as if he remembered Harry from their one conversation in the loo at The X Factor tryouts.

Harry rolled his eyes at himself. Sitting on his arse, waiting for Louis to approve his follow request was not going to result in anything. Except… wait. There was an email listed in Louis’ bio. Maybe Harry could try reaching out to him that way.

Harry tapped it and his phone brought it up in the mail app. Hopefully his default email wasn’t anything ridiculous or embarrassing. Harry took a deep breath and then began to type.

 

> _Hi Louis,_
> 
> _You probably don’t remember me, but I’m Harry Styles. We met during our short time on The X Factor back in 2010, and I believe you actually asked for my autograph whilst in the loo haha! I’m reaching out now, because I believe I took a photo of you while at Pride in London, and it gave me an idea for a piece I might write about X Factor contestants that don’t make it to the final. So much is talked about those who do, but the others aren’t quite looked at, are they? What about those of us who put so much on the line and then had to rebuild our hopes and dreams to something different after having a chance and not quite getting there? How are lives affected, hopefully for the better, because of the experiences on the show?_
> 
> _Anyway, I’ve chosen a selection of past contestants, myself included, to use for the piece and hoped you might be willing take part. Let me know!_
> 
> _Harry Styles_

Harry bit his lip as he read the email again, and then closed his eyes as he hit send. Fuck, he hoped this would work. And actually, the article being the reason for them to all come together might be a good idea. He could say he was doing separate interviews and then wanted a group one where they reminisced about their experiences on the show as well as after.

He supposed sliding into their Twitter DMs wouldn’t be too crazy, at least for a place to start. Everyone but Louis had their profiles public and DMs open, so Harry figured he could try that and then dig deeper if a few days went by without response. Both Niall and Liam were incredibly active on Twitter, so he’d know if they hadn’t responded by then, they weren’t going to.

He typed up a basic introduction message with his idea for the article and sent it off before locking his phone. That was the best he could do for now.

Now that Harry had reached out to the lads, he needed to figure out what the hell to do about Gemma. He took a deep breath, squared his shoulders, and left the safety of his bedroom.

Harry wandered out to the living room where Gemma was curled up on the couch, typing away on her phone. As soon as she saw Harry, she locked it and set it on the coffee table.

“I was wondering if I was going to have to torture it out of you or not,” she said with a wry grin. “You’ve been acting weird all day. Come on. Talk to me.”

Harry sat down beside her and immediately began to chew on his finger while he figured out where to start.

“I’m afraid you aren’t going to believe me.” Harry sighed in frustration. “Actually, I know you aren’t going to.”

Gemma arched a dark brow. “Try me.”

“Last night I went to bed in the house I own in LA and it was May 2015. When I woke up, I was here.”

Gemma snorted. “Yeah, okay. How do you own a house in fucking LA in this supposed other life?”

Harry kept eye contact with her so she could see he was serious when he said, “While you were at work, I researched and saw that I made it through to the judges houses on The X Factor and then was sent home, right?” When Gemma nodded, Harry said, “Well, back home, me, Liam Payne, Louis Tomlinson, Niall Horan, and Zayn Malik were told we were cut after bootcamp and then they pulled us back in and the judges told us we were being put together as a group. We didn’t end up winning, but we made it to the finals and eventually became one of the biggest bands in the world. I own several houses, I just happened to be at my LA house during a break in tour before I woke up here.” It felt so strange and almost egotistical to summarize his life in that way, but it was the best he could do to help her know where he’d come from.

Gemma squinted her eyes. “You’re getting fairly detailed for just making this shit up on the spot. It’s quite amusing, though. Tell me more about this fantasy life.”

Harry laughed a little. “What do you want to know about it? I kind of want to get back because the tour is starting up again, and I don’t actually know if time is still passing while I’m here or not. And if it is, is the Harry from this reality living my life there? Shit, how does that even work?”

Before Harry’s mind could fall into a complete anxious whirlwind, Gemma held up her hand. “Okay, next leg of tour. Sure. Where was this next leg taking place?”

“North America. We’d already done Asia, Australia, and even a few African tour dates. The next show is in Cardiff, though.”

Gemma made an impressed face. “Damn. Where in Africa?”

“Johannesburg and Cape Town. It was very cool, actually. The crowds were very enthusiastic,” Harry said with a wry grin. They’d all had a fun time in South Africa. He hoped they could go back sometime.

Gemma tilted her head, and he could tell she was thinking. “Okay, you’re kind of freaking me out with how fast you’re spitting these facts at me, but it doesn’t make any sense. Why should I believe that this actually happened to you?”

Harry shook his head. “I knew you wouldn’t believe me,” Harry insisted, curling into more of a ball. “I don’t know what to say to convince you. I mean, what do you _want_ me to say?” Harry’s voice had risen to a point of being incredibly shrill and loud. He couldn’t help it, he was very quickly getting to the point of a panic attack.

“Okay, Harry. I need you to breathe, okay? It’s all fine, just breathe in, and breathe out.”

Harry listened to Gemma’s soothing tone and was able to calm his heart and the panicked itching that had steadily been growing under his skin.

“Tell me those boys’ names again?”

Harry furrowed his brows. “What, the others in the band with me?”

Gemma nodded and picked up her phone.

“The easiest to find is going to be Liam Payne. I already googled him and because he’s in the industry still, there’s a lot about his background online. The others are in different professions, though I didn’t look up Zayn cause he’d just left the band actually.”

“Okay, yeah. It shows here Liam also tried out for X Factor the same year as you. Oh, I think I remember him!”

Harry smiled. “Yeah, he’s really great.”

“It says he tried out another year as well. What is the other year he tried out?”

“2008,” Harry said. “We always said he didn’t make it then, ‘cause he needed us to pull the stick out of his arse.” Harry couldn’t help chuckling in memory. “You should have seen him when we started, Gem. He was a proper taskmaster and thought he knew so much more than the rest of us. He didn’t ever want us to mess around and him and Louis used to always fight. Louis wore him down eventually, though.”

It was always funny for Harry to think about the two of them when they first started. They were closer than most brothers now, but they definitely had to work to get there.

“You really care about them,” Gemma said.

Harry nodded. He could feel what what could only be described as a physical weight forming in his belly thanks to his constant state of worry. “Yeah. I’m scared I’m never gonna get back, Gem. How am I supposed to get back?”

“Where did you go to uni?”

“Manchester,” Harry said tentatively. He only knew that because of his research, but Harry thought he could see where this was going. “I looked that up earlier, otherwise I wouldn’t have known. If you’re quizzing me, ask me some personal history stuff that’s happened since X Factor.”

Gemma studied his face. “Tell me about Jonathan Connelly.”

“I…” Harry drew out the word as he tried to figure out if Jonathan was someone he knew from the life he remembered or when he was young. “I don’t know a Jonathan Connelly? Is he from Holmes Chapel?”

Gemma visibly swallowed, and looked a little spooked. “No. You met him at uni,” she said softly, a look of concern on her face. “I haven’t been able to mention him to you in the past few months without you breaking down a little. He was a big deal for you.”

Harry’s body flooded with dread. “How much of a big deal?”

“You two were engaged. He was your first love. That much of a big deal.”

Harry’s heart seemed to have started racing at the same time it dropped to the pit of his stomach. It was making him feel sick, but he had to know.

“What happened?”

“He left,” Gemma said quietly. “He broke you, Harry. I wasn’t sure I was ever going to get my brother back.”

Harry’s eyes widened in shock. Shit. Maybe he was okay not hearing the rest of that story then. Gemma seemed to be done with it as well, because she suddenly straightened herself up and got a faux serious look on her face as she pointed her finger at Harry.

“I’m not saying I believe you,” she said sternly. “But I will suspend reality on a trial basis. Okay?”

Harry closed his eyes and tears built up a bit. It was stupid, but he was so relieved that she was even kind of believing him. “Yes. Thank you. I’ll prove it, I promise.”

“Mmhmm,” Gemma hummed. “We’ll see. You might want to beg off sick for film night, though. Michal won’t expect to see you… like this.”

Harry scoffed. “Excuse you. What the fuck does that mean?”

Gemma motioned at his outfit choice. “You’ve been living in joggers and your small collection of band shirts since you moved in with me. Suddenly seeing you like you’re ready to pull is going to send him into cardiac arrest.”

Harry rolled his eyes. “Yeah, okay. Thanks, Gem.” Harry leaned forward and wrapped her in a hug. “You’re an annoying bitch, but I love you.”

He’d said it before he thought twice about it, and hoped this Gemma wouldn’t be offended.

Luckily, she didn’t seem to be, because Gemma snorted before saying, “Same, dickhead.”

 

*~~***~~*

 

Harry woke up and stretched. He could hear Gemma in the kitchen, but he honestly had no idea what he needed to do today. It was a weekday, he thought, so something was probably required of him.

Standing up, he scratched at his belly. Hmm. Harry glanced down. He really should get this Harry working out. The release would probably be good for him as well.

Without bothering to put clothes on, Harry wandered to the kitchen in only his pants.

“Gemma? What exactly do I do on a daily basis for work?”

“Oh God,” Gemma exclaimed before shutting her eyes and turning away from Harry so her back was facing him. “We’ve talked about this, Haz. You have to wear clothes in our shared spaces.”

Harry looked down at himself. He was fully covered. He wasn’t doing anything differently from what he used to in sixth form.

“I don’t see why this is any worse for you than it was when we were growing up,” he voiced aloud.

Gemma snorted. “Except you’re a grown fucking man,” she said. “That’s the difference. Anyway, You usually go to the office in the afternoons because it’s quieter then and you say you can focus better. As long as you get your work done and deadlines met, Logan doesn’t really care.”

Harry blinked. “Where’s the office? What deadlines?”

Gemma looked at him flatly. “You seriously don’t know anything?”

Harry shrugged. “I’m guessing I’m doing something to do with Pride Parades right now since those photos were covering my bed. Unless they were for a personal thing?”

“Oh God,” Gemma said with a grimace. She groaned as she let her head fall back. “You know what I need you to do? I need you to write me a sample, only like five hundred words, and send it to me. I need to figure out if you can half arse this or if I’m going to need to do _your_ writing work too until I can get my Harry back.”

Harry bit into an apple and smiled. “Okay, I can do that.”

“Bloody hell, it’s like living with a teenager again,” Gemma mumbled before taking her tea to the living room. “I’m going to head in early. I’ve got a few things I need to get done by the end of the day, okay? Write me that sample and email it to me. I’m texting you my address. Okay?”

“Okay,” Harry agreed. She left shortly after and Harry went back to his room to figure out what to write about.

 

*~~***~~*

 

Writing was fucking hard. Harry had no idea how Other Harry did it and liked it enough to make it his profession. Harry could write songs, sure, but that was nothing compared to five hundred words in an essay format.

Harry banged his head on the table and texted Gemma again.

 **_Harry:_ ** _How the fuck am I supposed to do this? What should I write about?_

Gemma responded quickly, just like she had the past several times he’d gone whining to her.

 **_Gemma:_ ** _Shut up, fucker. Just do it. And seriously write about anything. Tell me more about your band or some old shit. I don’t care. 500 words. Chop chop._

Oh. The band. He hadn’t thought about that. He’d been thinking on a bigger scale like the meaning of life or something. He could probably write five hundred words about the band.

Harry went back to the document he had open, cleared it, and then started fresh.

Harry wanted to give Gemma a summary of what life was like in the band. He hadn’t had a chance last night, and he wanted her to know why he was so desperate to get back.

With that in mind, he started. He wrote about what it was like on The X Factor, when it felt like they were caught in a whirlwind of work and fun and each other and how at any moment it all could have come crashing down. He wrote about Louis and how alive he made Harry feel. How he kind of changed Harry in the best of ways, until they’d decided it wasn’t worth the band’s future and stopped what they had to settle for being best friends.

He wrote about the X Factor tour and the little club shows they did. What it was like recording their first album and then going and doing radio station tours, singing the same song while answering all of the same questions, but feeling like maybe, just maybe, they had a chance at actually making it. He made sure to focus on how, during all of this, the five of them had become so much more than just a rag tag group of rejects that were put together into a band, and they’d grown to be more like brothers.

And then they _did._ He wrote about what it felt like to hit number one, not just with _What Makes You Beautiful,_ but with their debut album. And then what touring was like while recording their second album, because obviously they had to take advantage of the trajectory they had while it was still going for them. And then they sold out an arena world tour more than a year in advance. And then they kept touring and selling out _stadiums_ all around the world, all the while recording and promoting and simply always being on the go, chasing after that peak of popularity until, before they knew it, almost five years had passed and they had grown into men without even realising it.

It was dizzying to recount like that. Harry’s tone had come out a lot more bitter than he’d intended. Harry hadn’t actually realised how incredibly angry he really was with their team about how they’d been forcing the band to do things until he’d given himself this chance to look at it from the outside.

Yes, of course Harry knew they were being overworked. He would be stupid not to. Louis had been telling all of them for years that other artists did not work with the same kind of relentless schedule as they did. Liam had looked into it and agreed. It was why they’d started fighting back against the label and management. It was part of why Zayn had left. Despite all of this, though, Harry had never really fully comprehended how bad it really was until now when he wrote it all down.

It was then he was filled with a bone deep exhaustion. Maybe the year break from everything really was something they all needed, but even more than that, something they _deserved._ They had worked so hard for what they got, and Harry was incredibly proud of that, but he could admit the break was a good idea now. He still didn’t like it and he was still scared shitless, but Harry could admit it was something they really should do.

Harry glanced at the clock and saw it was almost four, the time Gemma said she would be back. She was going to be mad he hadn’t sent it to her, but probably also grateful that he’d stopped bothering her with his non-stop texting.

He went ahead and emailed it just to cover his arse and then stretched. Harry remembered his idea about running while he was here and, after sitting at a desk all day, getting out and moving sounded glorious. Harry jumped up and pulled out the obviously rarely used work out joggers and an old t-shirt and began to get ready for a nice run.

 

*~~***~~*

 

“Where the fuck have you been?” Gemma screeched as Harry, red-faced and panting, walked into the flat. “I have been here thinking you were kidnapped or dead or who bloody knows what!”

Harry’s eyes went wide. Shit. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and unlocked it. Still sitting, unsent, was his text telling Gemma he was going for a run. Above it he could see multiple texts to go with missed calls, all asking where he was.

“I thought I told you. I’m so sorry,” Harry started, but Gemma held her hand up to stop him.

“Normally I wouldn’t care much, but I was already halfway convinced about your little time travel, alternate universe story and then I read this.” Gemma held up her phone and Harry saw it was the sample he’d written for her. “What the fuck is this, Harry?”

Harry pouted a little. “I thought I’d done fairly well, considering how long it’s been since I wrote an essay. Obviously I was wrong if you don’t even know what it was about after reading it.”

Gemma shook her head emphatically, rage clear on her face. “No. That is not what I mean. I mean, is this seriously what life is like where you’re from? You and these other kids, these young boys, being run ragged? Breaking up with the boy who could be the love of your life because the executives tell you no? Going back into the closet because it’s bad for business? _That_ is what you’re in such a rush to get back to?”

“Yeah. Okay, fine,” Harry almost shouted, the fast and hot rush of anger flowing through him at what felt like an attack of the life he loved. “I’ll admit, sometimes it’s total shit. But it’s my life, Gemma! I get to perform for thousands of people with my best friends every damn week and those people, the way I feel when I get to sing to them…” Harry shrugged, the burning he had felt coursing through him already gone. “It’s worth all the rest of it, just for that feeling I get when I’m on stage.”

Gemma stood, silent, with a blank face. Harry calmed his breathing and wiped at the sweat that was still coating his skin from his run. He really did need a shower, but he wanted to finish this first.

“Okay. Well. Your writing is shit, so I’m going to have to do your articles for you while you’re here. Let’s get you back to your own time as soon as possible to avoid my getting buried completely.” She went walking down the hall toward the bedrooms before shouting over her shoulder, “And take a fucking shower, you reek.”

 

*~~***~~*

 

Harry threw himself down on his bed, hair wrapped in a towel. He was only in a pair of pants again, so he figured he would stick to his room until he was ready for more clothes.

He picked up his phone and saw an alert for his emails. He opened the mail app and found a response from Louis.

> _Harry!_
> 
> _I wish you’d come and said hi when you took the photo, but now works too! I definitely remember your curls, even from all those years ago._
> 
> _So, for the article, I am definitely up for chatting! I have to be careful with how things are written since all of it can reflect on the club and I do enjoy my job, but as long as you’re okay with the strict rules they have regarding that, then I would love to be a part of your article._
> 
> _Here’s my number. Feel free to text me so we can catch up a little and figure out a time to talk!_
> 
> _Louis_

Harry immediately programmed Louis’ number into his phone. He debated a little over whether it would be over eager to text him right away, but eventually Harry decided he didn’t care.

 **_Harry:_ ** _Hey, Louis! It’s Harry. Styles. Here’s my number :)_

Harry sent it and then smacked his forehead. Too late to fix it now, but oh well. Harry stood up and got dressed, and when he came back he had several texts from Louis waiting for him.

 **_Louis:_ ** _Hey! I was hoping you’d reach out soon!_   
**_Louis:_ ** _How are you doing? Last I saw you, you were a just a lad who got kicked off the X Factor too soon._ _  
_ **_Louis:_ ** Your number is now saved. You won’t ever be able to escape me. Mwahaha!

Harry laughed. He was surprised and yet not to find that this version of Louis was so very much like the one back home. It made sense, they essentially were the same person, but still. It felt like some missing part of himself had been found and it soothed him in a way that nothing else had since he’d woken up here.

 **_Harry:_ ** _I’m doing okay! Had a bit of a rough go for a bit, but I think I’m finding my way. How about you?_ _  
_ **_Harry:_ ** _PS- What if I don’t want to escape you?_

Harry hit send on the second message and immediately regretted it.

“No, no, no! Stop! Don’t send!” It was, of course, right then that the delivery was confirmed. He hadn’t cancelled it soon enough. Well, shit. Harry sighed and hung his head. Hopefully he didn’t scare Louis off. Harry didn’t know if he was taken, or anything about this Louis, really. Maybe he didn’t want to be flirted with. Fuck.

 **_Louis:_ ** _Oh, look at you! You always were so charming. ;) I’m sorry for your rough time, though. I’m glad you’re doing better now. Life has treated me well! I cannot complain._ _  
_ **_Louis:_ ** _So, when do you want to try to meet up? What time of day works for you? We have two matches next week, so it will have to be the following week. Hope that’s not a problem._

Harry almost squealed in his excitement. He was going to be able to meet up with Louis so soon. That was great news. Hopefully by then he would have tracked down Liam and Niall as well.

 **_Harry:_ ** _My schedule is really flexible, so you just let me know a few times that would work for you and I’ll work around it no problem_

Pleased with how he’d responded, Harry finally left his room.

Gemma was waiting for him on the couch. She handed over a tea, made just the way he liked, and smiled.

“Sorry about earlier.” She gave a wry grin before laughing at herself. “I read all of that and, while it was exciting, it brought out the protective sister side of me too.”

Harry took a sip and lifted the mug in thanks. “It’s okay. It was hard appeasing you at first back home, too. You and Mum and Robin all would get so worked up, but we learned what we needed. We got some help in finding loopholes and ways to work around what we were restricted with so we could push back as much as we were able.”

Gemma hummed. “Well good. Now, tell me why you were smiling like a loon when you came walking out here.”

Harry tucked his smile into his tea and took another drink before softly saying, “Louis answered my email and now we’re texting.”

Gemma sat up. “Wait. Louis, he’s the love of your life, right?”

“Gem!” Harry protested, sticking his toe out and prodding her thigh. “He’s not the love of my life! He was just a silly crush from when I was sixteen. We got past that and are now best friends.”

“Sure, Jan,” Gemma teased. “I know _I_ always look like I’m floating when my bestie texts me.”

Harry pouted exaggeratedly and continued to drink his tea. “I’m just excited to finally be talking to someone I’m so close to back home.”

Gemma nodded. “That makes sense, but you two also never gave yourselves a chance because of your circumstances. That doesn’t mean you have to hold back here, you know?”

Harry blinked. She was right, but he still felt like crossing the bridge from being flirtatious best friends to possibly more was something he wasn’t ready for and might not ever really be ready for. He and Louis had been so close to making their relationship official when Simon sat them down in his office and talked about the importance of being single. The part about being straight was implied but not able to be overlooked. The conversation eventually made them decide to stop what they were doing and just be friends. That was their chance. Harry didn’t think they would be able to take it back or change it, no matter what world he was in.

“I don’t know if that’s what we are meant for,” Harry said slowly. “I think we are destined to be best friends, that’s all.”

Gemma shrugged. “Okay, bro. Whatever you say.” She turned towards the telly and flipped it on before changing the subject. “Please tell me you’re into Game of Thrones in your universe?”

“Yeah, but me and Louis have only made it about halfway through season three so far.”

Gemma gasped. “Oh dear. We really need to get you caught up. Come on.”

  



	3. Chapter 3

*~~***~~*

 

“I’ve made excuses with Logan for you,” Gemma called when she returned to the flat the next day. 

It was Friday, and Harry was happy. Gemma had told him they traditionally did a pub night with just the two of them on Friday before Harry always came back to the flat and Gemma would go out with her friends. It sounded like the perfect night to him.

“What kind of excuses?” Harry called as he finished drying his hair with a towel and walked out of his room. Now that he was getting used to his short hair again, Harry actually kind of liked it. Maybe, once he was back home, Harry could find a good charity to donate his hair to and then he could wear it short again for awhile. He loved his long hair, but he also enjoyed switching things up from time to time. He’d have to consider that option a little more.

“Told him your doctor was worried that you were experiencing so many recurring illnesses and that he wanted you to work from home for an extended time and see if that made a difference for you.” Gemma paused as she finished taking off her layers and walked back towards where Harry was standing, looking at his photos that were framed on the wall. “It isn’t that much of a stretch, you have been falling ill quite often, but your doctor thought it mostly to do with your depression more than anything.”

Harry shook his head. “Sorry I’ve been worrying you. Or, well, the other me.” Harry chuckled and shrugged. “You know what I mean.”

Gemma rolled her eyes playfully. “Whatever. I am curious, though. Why are you always so fascinated with these photos? It’s not like you haven’t got to travel in your life or anything.”

Harry pursed his lips and tried to find the words that would best describe his thoughts. 

“These are places I’d wanted to visit since I was younger, so  _ this _ Harry had that in common with me. The difference between us is this Harry had the ability to go see them, visit them and enjoy them.” Harry sheepishly smiled. “Not to brag or anything, but it’s a little hard to get around without word leaking somehow and then we would suddenly find ourselves surrounded. It isn’t usually safe.”

“You never got to see the places you performed?” Gemma asked, her eyebrows raised. “I knew you were busy schedule wise, but I didn’t realise it was like that.”

“I mean, not always. We snuck out to see Christ the Redeemer using a bread van with no windows. Poor Niall almost had a panic attack thanks to his claustrophobia, but we did it.” Harry remembered how hot and crowded they were in the dark. How Louis was doing everything he could to distract Niall while reminding him he wasn’t alone, and Liam kept talking to the camera that was there, filming them the entire time. It had been crazy, but Harry had kind of loved it too. “That was just last year. Or, well, 2014. That same tour, Liam and I were able to hike to Machu Picchu, which was pretty wicked.”

“See?” Gemma smirked. “You get to see some places.”

“Yeah,” Harry agreed.

They stood in silence, regarding the photos on the wall a little longer before Gemma spoke again.

“Okay, so your hair is a mess. You better fix that so we can go down to the pub without me being embarrassed by you.”

Harry’s mouth dropped open as he feigned offence. “Excuse you! I always look fabulous.  _ I _ should be embarrassed to be seen with  _ you!” _

Gemma punched Harry’s shoulder and walked back to her room to change her clothes. Harry rubbed his shoulder, even though it didn’t really hurt, and went to fix his hair. He was quite hungry and could use a nice meal.

 

*~~***~~*

 

Harry’s phone buzzed on the table again, causing Harry to stop in the middle of a sentence to see what Louis had said in response.

“Sure. Go ahead. Ignore me to respond to your boyfriend.”

“Rude,” Harry said through the fish he hadn’t finished chewing yet. Once he swallowed and he was done typing his response, Harry set the phone back down and looked at his sister. “And he isn’t my boyfriend. You know that.”

“Oh please.” Gemma made a face before shoving a fat chip in her mouth. “You keep saying that and it sounds less convincing every time.”

Harry shook his head as he swirled his own chip in some gravy. “I’ve only been talking to him since yesterday, which should maybe tell you that you might be a bit obsessed with not only my relationship status, but with Louis.”

Harry’s phone buzzed again and he snatched it up before Gemma could. The preview showed a photo of some sort, and when Harry opened it, he saw Louis with his youngest siblings. Ernie and Doris had grown up so much since Harry had last seen them as little one-year-olds. They were nearing five and looked like little people rather than babies that could somehow walk. They were visiting Louis and joining him at the match tomorrow, so Louis was having a great time and texting Harry all of the fun they were getting up to. Harry fawned over them appropriately and then when he set his phone down, again, saw Gemma staring at him with a smug look on her face.

“What?” Harry asked, finally eating the chip that was now a bit soggy from the gravy. It still tasted fine.

“You’re so gone for him,” she said. “And before you argue, you won’t be able to convince me otherwise. I’m just happy for you, is all. Jonathan really messed you up, so it’s nice to see  _ you _ again, you know?”

Sadness flooded Harry. So much seemed to have happened to him in this life causing him to live as a bit of a hermit. It helped Harry now, of course, so he hadn’t thought much of it. Every once in awhile, though, Gemma would get this look in her eye while watching Harry or say something, and it would make him stop and think. Maybe the Other Harry needed help working through his past as much as Harry needed being here to see his situation back home more clearly as well.

“Okay. Enough sap from me. Finish up or I’m going to be late meeting the girls.”

“We barely even got to talk,” Harry complained before shoveling more food in his mouth. It was a bit cold. Somehow more time had passed than he’d realised.

“Yeah, well, if you’d paid more attention to me than your phone, we could have talked more,” Gemma shot right back. Harry just stuck his tongue out at her.

They quickly settled payment and went their own ways. Harry had just gotten back to the flat when his phone vibrated and he pulled it out expecting another text from Louis, but it was a Twitter DM instead.

**_NiallOfficial:_ ** _ How’d you even find me? No one really knows me from The X Factor anymore. It’s kinda creepy, dude. _

Harry blinked. That wasn’t the kind of response he’d been expecting, but then he re-read his message. Harry had been in such a rush to just make contact with the boys at all that all he’d said in the message was his name and that he was wanting to write an article about former X Factor contestants who hadn’t made it far into the live shows. Of course Niall would be suspicious.

**_harry_styles:_ ** _ Shit, I’m sorry. I was a contestant the same year you were. I met you a couple of times in the hall and everything. I made it to judges houses, but then got sent home myself. I remembered you and thought I’d try reaching out.  _

Harry read and re-read the message, unsure how it would come off. It was Niall he was talking to, but this wasn’t  _ his _ Niall, the guy that he’d helped fend off homesickness for by doing his worst impression of Irish accents. The guy who always had the worst farts on the bus and never owned it. The one who was so loyal he would never sell out his brothers in the band for anything. This was a completely different person with different experiences and Harry had no idea if he’d accept what Harry was saying or not.

That made Harry’s blood run cold. What if he was never able to convince the others to trust him? Louis, Harry was pretty sure, would have no problem with meeting the others at the bungalow, should it all come together how he hopes, but Niall and Liam? What if neither of them wanted to talk to him and shut him down? What would he do then? Would Harry not ever get back home?

Harry bit his lip and hit send. He closed his eyes tightly and then, after taking a deep breath, allowed himself to get settled in to watch some more Game of Thrones.

 

*~~***~~*

 

Harry hadn’t heard from Niall for the rest of the night, but considering all the photos he posted of him clubbing, Harry figured he was a little busy. He’d only stopped posting about an hour before, so he was probably in LA. 

Liam, on the other hand, still hadn’t responded, so Harry would probably have to find another way to reach out.

**_Harry:_ ** _ I’ve got one more contestant I remember from our year that I’m trying to contact and he hasn’t responded yet. If I were to search his business website and use the contact information there, would that be considered creepy? _

Harry sent the text to Louis first thing in the morning, but it wasn’t until his phone had remained silent for more than five minutes that he remembered Louis was probably busy with both his family and the match that West Brom had in just a couple hours.

Harry pursed his lips then sat up. Maybe he should go to the pub and watch the match. They were playing Swansea and the odds had West Brom losing at home, but it could still be fun to have something to chat with Louis about later.

“Gem?” Harry called out, knowing his sister never could sleep in on a Saturday, no matter how late she was out the night before.

He threw off his covers and pulled on a pair of joggers to abide by her “clothing required in shared spaces” rule. He walked to the kitchen and turned on the kettle as he heard her come out of the living room.

“What?” she asked, still sounding groggy. “Thank fuck you’re making tea. Enough for me, yeah?”

Harry chuckled and nodded confirmation. “Wanna watch some footie at the pub with me?”

Gemma’s brow furrowed. “The United match isn’t until tomorrow. Who do you support now? Dad isn’t gonna like you switching allegiance. We bleed red, after all.”

“West Brom kicks off at 12:30,” Harry mumbled as he grabbed the box of tea from the cabinet.

“West...ohhhh,” Gemma drawled, looking entirely too pleased when just a minute earlier she’d been begging for tea. “Trying to impress a certain someone with some knowledge about his team?”

Harry rolled his eyes. “He’s a United man as well, actually. Well, them and Donny Rovers, but they’re shit. Don’t tell him I said that,” Harry hurried out. Louis was a realist about his team’s abilities, but he didn’t like anyone else to talk down about the team he grew up so close to. “But yeah. He works for them now, so I just wanted to see.”

“Mmhmm,” Gemma hummed. 

The kettle rumbled and clicked off and Harry poured the water into the mugs, adding milk to his and sugar to Gemma’s.

“So?” Harry asked as he breathed in the scent of his steeping tea. “Pub lunch?”

“Oh fine,” she agreed. “But good luck finding one not playing the North London Derby on all the screens. I think that’s at the same time. And Michal is going to want to join us.”

Harry froze. He hadn’t met her boyfriend yet, not in this universe. 

“How am I supposed to act around him? He knows the other me, not this one!”

Harry’s thoughts began to whirl in a panic. The whole reason he had avoided Logan was because there was no way Harry would be able to reconcile himself to the Harry everyone who knew him in this version of reality, and now he was going to be introduced to Gemma’s boyfriend, who probably knew him pretty bloody well?

“Shut up,” Gemma chided as she tossed her tea bag into the bin. “You were like...half of a person before and I’d been telling him how worried I was about you. Maybe we can say that Louis is finally breaking you out of that shell and into who you used to be.”

Harry rolled his eyes. “You’re making me sound like a cliche. Got my heart broken, was acting like a ghost, until suddenly, voila! New love interest enters the picture and I’m whole again!”

“Well if you have a better idea then let me know,” Gemma bit back. “I’m gonna go text Michal about switching our plans a little. You do...whatever you do.”

Harry stuck his tongue out after Gemma as she left the room before grabbing a banana and his tea. If he hurried, he should have time for a short run and a shower before the match. Besides, maybe working out would help Harry clear his head so he wouldn’t be so worried about spending a few hours with Gemma’s boyfriend. 

Harry wasn’t sure why he was so worried about Michal. Gemma had just started seeing him back home so Harry hadn’t met him yet, but he seemed nice enough. 

Actually, maybe that was why Harry was so nervous. If he was someone constant for Gemma in both this lifetime as well as the other, Michal must be kind of a big deal. Add in the fact that Harry didn’t actually know that much about him, and Harry felt like today would be completely filled with landmines he could potentially trigger.

Harry shook his head and focused on getting into his workout clothes before yelling his plan to Gemma and leaving the flat.

 

*~~***~~*

 

Luckily, Gemma was mistaken about the North London Derby. That match wasn’t until next week, which meant that while the pubs were still well visited, they weren’t insane with people that wanted to watch a different game from the one Harry was hoping to catch. They still had to go to a pub Harry hadn’t ventured to before they could find a telly that was able to be switched for them, but it was close enough to the flat Harry couldn’t complain.

Besides, he still had to worry about how he would have to act with Michal during the entire thing.

“So, Michal,” Harry asked as he set down his amber ale. He wasn’t such a fan, but Michal had been kind enough to buy the first round, so Harry would force it down. “What team do you support?”

“Oh, I’m a Liverpool man.”

Harry choked on his beer a little and his eyes went wide as he looked at Gemma in betrayal.  _ Liverpool? _

“Oh fuck!” Michal cried loudly as he began to laugh hysterically. “Your face, Harry! Oh my God!”

Harry pouted and went back to sipping his disgusting ale. He didn’t understand what was so funny. Harry turned when he heard a whistle and saw the match had already started. Good. This was already not going very well, in Harry’s opinion.

“Harry,” Michal said, practically wheezing. “I’m joking. I’m not a scouser.”

Harry wasn’t sure how to respond to him at that point, so he just pursed his lips in confusion and continued to focus on the television. At least the commentators wouldn’t judge him for not understanding their sense of humour.

“Michal grew up supporting Sheffield, Haz,” Gemma said kindly as she punched her boyfriend. “He doesn’t really support a specific team. He was just messing around, even though I told him to take it easy on you.”

Harry smirked a little as he turned back to Michal. “Taking it easy on me is starting off with a Liverpool joke?”

Michal shrugged. “I’ve never seen you outside the house, mate. Wasn’t quite sure what to think of you in a pub. Got nervous and said the first thing that came to mind.”

“That’s fair,” Harry said. 

“So,” Michal asked after their food was delivered and Harry groaned over a goal attempt for West Brom that went wide right. “Why are we so interested in West Bromwich now?”

Gemma snickered and Harry kicked her beneath the table.

From that point forward, Harry and Michal fell into an easy conversation with Gemma occasionally sharing her thoughts as well, but mostly she kept to her phone. By the end of the match, which West Brom did in fact lose, Harry felt completely comfortable with Michal.

“Okay, well, you able to fend for yourself the rest of the day, Haz?” Gemma asked as they bundled back up for the windy November weather. “We were thinking we might get started on some Christmas shopping.”

Harry waved them off. “Go off and have some alone time,” he said, feeling like she thought he was a child still in need of adult supervision. “I’ll be just fine on my own.”

Gemma and Michal left, wrapped around each other, and Harry headed off back to the flat.

 

*~~***~~*

 

Harry had just finished cleaning the kitchen and was starting to sort through the Pride photos when his phone rang. Assuming it was Louis finally getting back to him, Harry answered without checking who it was first.

“Hey, Lou,” Harry said easily. 

They’d talked on the phone for a short while the night before when they’d solidified details for when they could meet, but Harry was already addicted to his voice. It was so familiar and made him feel like he was a little closer to being back home where Louis’ voice was constantly ringing in his ears. He was almost craving it, the desire to hear him speak again was so strong.

“Oh, well now you have to spill. Who’s Lou?”

Harry froze. “Hey… Mum,” he said slowly. 

Fuck. If anyone was going to be able to tell Harry wasn’t himself, it was definitely going to be her. Why hadn’t he prepared for this? He really should have. He spoke to her regularly while he was touring. Why wouldn’t this counterpart, heartbroken and living with his sister, do the same? 

“Oh come on,” she pushed, her voice kind but with the slightly demanding tone she worked in when there wasn’t a question whether her curiosity would be answered to her satisfaction. “You sounded excited and happy. I haven’t heard you sound like that since you told me about your experience at Berlin Pride. So who is this mysterious Lou? I don’t think I’ve ever heard you mention them.”

Harry grimaced and was grateful she couldn’t see his face. This wasn’t exactly a conversation he was ready to have with her.

“Uhm, Louis is someone that I originally met during The X Factor, actually,” Harry said slowly. “I got an idea about an article to write and it required my getting in touch with some others who participated during the same year I did. He was the first who responded back.”

Harry wasn’t sure why, but he felt incredibly guilty, like he was lying to his mum or something. He wasn’t really, so the uncomfortable feeling currently residing in his gut could go fuck itself, but he still felt like he was doing something wrong by not blurting out his situation to her.

“Oh that’s nice, honey. How did you remember this Louis? Was he someone you found when looking up names of other participants or did you remember him specifically or something?”

Harry could hear how hard his mum was trying to sound nonchalant. Anne was a great many things, but a good actress wasn’t one of them.

“No, he actually asked for my autograph in the loo,” Harry chuckled, thinking back. They even had the first words they’d said to each other that day tattooed on their arms. Sounding wistful even to his own ears, Harry continued talking, trying to keep his story straight about why he’d reached out to Louis. Might as well use it as practice so he didn’t forget somewhere along the line. “He said I’d be a star one day. I’d forgotten about it until I realised I’d taken a photo of him at Pride in London. When I saw the photo I remembered him, and that inspired the article, actually.”

“Oh my God,” Anne said, a squeal of laughter heard through the phone making Harry immediately nervous. “Lou from the loo? The same boy?”

Harry gasped. He’d totally forgotten he’d told her all about Louis after meeting him and having that surreal experience with the most beautiful boy he’d ever seen. 

“Erm,” Harry hedged. He could feel his face flaming. “Yeah. Same one. God, how do you remember that?”

“Oh darling,” Anne said with a laugh. “You were well smitten. I’m excited you’ve been able to get back in touch. It sounds like he’s got the same effect on you now as he did all those years ago.”

Harry huffed. What was with everyone trying to make Harry’s interest in Louis to be more than just platonic? “Mum, it’s not like that. He’s my best friend, that’s all, and-”

“He’s your best friend?” Anne asked, and Harry froze. Shit. He’d already fucked up, and he hadn’t been talking to his mum for more than five minutes. “I thought you said you’d just got back in contact with him?”

Fuck. Fucking fuckity fuck.

“I just meant, we’ve connected in such a way that even though we’ve only been talking for less than a week, he already feels like he could be my best friend…” Harry finally stumbled out. Shit. He would have to come clean to her at some point, but he wasn’t ready to do that now and he wasn’t sure that over the phone was the best choice anyway. He really needed Gemma with him if he was going to break this kind of news to his mum.

“Alright, love. Well, it does sound like you’re in good spirits, either way. I’ve not heard you so chipper in ages.”

“Yeah, I’m doing really well, Mum,” Harry answered. 

“Are you and Gemma still planning on coming up next weekend? That’s actually what I was calling about. I have a friend whose son is recently single and we were thinking-”

“No,” Harry said emphatically, cutting his mother off before she even finished her thought. There was no way in hell he was going to allow himself to be set up on a blind date. “No way, Mum. I’m not going on a date.”

“Fine. I’ll hold off this time,” she conceded. 

Harry breathed a sigh of relief. Well, half relief. It still meant he and Gemma needed to find a way to explain what all had happened. That was minor compared to how badly he needed a hug from his mum, though. Back home, he hadn’t seen her since early March. Maybe he could get rid of the guilt that was quickly making itself at home within his stomach by coming clean and telling her what’s been going on with him at the same time as getting the hug he so desperately needed.

“So you two are still coming?”

“I think so,” Harry lied. He hadn’t heard anything about this trip with all the excitement of this week, but he was sure if Anne thought it was on, then Gemma had no plans of backing out. 

“Perfect. Okay, well Dusty is wanting fed and I’m meant to go with Robin to a new cafe that opened in town, so we’ll chat more later. Love you, darling. Keep safe and take care of yourself, okay?” Harry was about to say his farewells, but Anne cut back in with a quick, “And good luck with Louis!” before ringing off.

Harry chuckled to himself and shook his head. He loved his mum, but she always kept him on his toes on a good day. He definitely hadn’t been prepared for that conversation, and he would need to do better before the next.

Harry opened his texts and sent a quick one to Gemma.

**_Harry:_ ** _ Mum called. RIP me! _ _  
_ **_Harry:_ ** _ It wasn’t as bad as could have been, actually, but she asked about a trip we are supposedly taking up there next week? _

Three dots indicating Gemma was already answering popped up, so Harry didn’t close the window.

**_Gemma:_ ** _ Fuck! I’d forgotten about that! Did she notice you’re...different? _

Harry snorted softly and began to type back.

**_Harry:_ ** _ She noticed a little and almost caught me while talking about Louis a bit, but I think I played it off alright _

**_Gemma:_ ** _ Sure, H. In other words, she is suspicious as fuck and too nice to say anything yet. _ _  
_ **_Gemma:_ ** _ Anyway, we’ll talk more tonight or tomorrow and come up with a game plan, because we’re definitely going home on Thursday. _

Harry sent back a thumbs up emoji and tossed his phone to the bed.

So he was going to go see his mum and have to explain the whole situation all over again. At least Gemma believed him now. Harry needed someone in his corner, and he always wanted Gemma on his side. Also, as much as he wasn’t looking forward to it, this might actually help explain why he really needed the bungalow for a weekend despite it being almost winter. 

Well, why he would need it whenever he was able to find a way to get all the lads together.  _ If _ he was able to. 

Harry was just starting to wonder about the Liam situation again when Louis finally responded to the text Harry had sent hours before.

**_Louis:_ ** _ God, sorry! Today’s been insane. Match days always are, but yeah. Anyway, I don’t think that’s too creepy.  _ __  
**_Louis:_ ** _ I mean, you’re kind of a reporter… journalist? What exactly is your title? Anyway, you’re writing an article. You’re meant to dig a bit.  _ _  
_ **_Louis:_ ** __ Looking up his professional contact information on his public website doesn’t seem too out of the realm of what I would expect you to do in order to get in touch with a subject.

Harry read over Louis’ response and, with it worded like that, he had to agree. Maybe it wasn’t too creepy. 

**_Harry:_ ** _ Thanks! That makes me feel a lot better. _ _  
_ **_Harry:_ ** _ Watched the match… _

Harry wasn’t sure what more to say about it. Was it appropriate to apologise for the loss? Honestly, Swansea had played worlds better than West Brom had, but Harry didn’t want to say that openly.

**_Louis:_ ** _ Oh God. Why? Are you a Baggie? I’m so sorry if you are. This year is… not our year. _

Harry laughed loudly and was about to cover his mouth when he remembered he was alone. Well, in that case, he would allow himself to make as much noise as he wanted. He also stood up from his desk, leaving the photos behind once again, and made himself comfortable on his bed.

**_Harry:_ ** _ Not at all. Red Devil here, but the match was on so I checked it out. _ _  
_ **_Harry:_ ** _ And, not to be rude, but is it ever a good year for West Brom? _

Harry stared at the chat, waiting impatiently for Louis to respond.

**_Louis:_ ** _ Fuck you! Hahaha! _ __  
**_Louis:_ ** _ We usually are able to hang with the mid to upper table! We just...aren’t this year. _ _  
_ **_Louis:_ ** __ Now stop slagging off about the team that pays my wages!

Harry couldn’t help his smile from growing larger the longer they chatted. Louis had such a way of making Harry feel at ease and enjoy himself, no matter what they were talking about. He had no idea how Louis did it, but he appreciated it. Back home, he relied on Louis quite often for it, but being in a place and time with a personal history Harry isn’t completely familiar with and sure about? Louis was more like a lifeline rather than just a support.

In between texts with Louis, Harry went to Liam’s production company’s website and clicked on the email listed in the  _ Contact Us _ tab. Harry sent an email very similar to the one he’d initially sent Louis, but this time he was sure to include his own background information and a more thorough explanation of what he was hoping to achieve with the article. If possible, Harry wanted to avoid another awkward exchange like he had with Niall earlier. Liam might have seen the message he’d sent him on Twitter and not responded because there weren’t enough details and he was suspicious. Harry was determined to do everything he could this time to alleviate any fears he might have about that.

Luckily, Louis kept Harry from tensing up and worrying too much while drafting what he would send Liam by talking to him. He had a plethora of stories about the twins and their reaction to today’s match, funny stories about what he had encountered while monitoring Twitter, and eventually a detailed report of someone that was having issues while walking his dog. 

“What are you laughing at?” Gemma asked from Harry’s bedroom door. Harry hadn’t even heard her get back, he’d been so wrapped up in his conversation with Louis.

“Just Louis telling another ridiculous story.” 

Harry squinted to see Gemma when he realised he’d been laying in his room in near darkness. He had no idea how much time had passed, he hadn’t even noticed the sun had gone down. His jaw dropped open when he realised the time.

“It’s nearly nine?” he asked incredulously. There was no way he’d been texting Louis for almost four hours. Harry hadn’t even made himself a tea, he’d been so distracted.

Gemma flipped on his light and he squawked in surprise as he hid his eyes. 

“You’re a mess, Harry. Pull yourself together. It’s just a boy. God.” And without saying anything else, she went to her room, carting an arm full of bags behind her.

“I hate you!” Harry yelled, like he used to when he was thirteen.

“Not as much as I hate you!” Gemma yelled back.

Harry couldn’t help but smile. He loved his sister, even if she was a little shit sometimes. Harry felt his phone vibrating several times in a row and saw Louis continuing the story at a rapid fire pace.

**_Louis:_ ** _ Oh shit! The dog has wrapped the lead around his legs now! _ __  
**_Louis:_ ** _ And the dog is trying to run! _ __  
**_Louis:_ ** _ Somehow he’s got one leg out, but the other is still wound tight _ _  
_ **_Louis:_ ** __ God, I wish you could see this! He’s spinning trying to get undone, but it’s just winding the lead around the other leg now!

Harry couldn’t help his giggles from resurfacing as he imagined the poor man.

**_Harry:_ ** _ Keep sending updates, but I won’t be able to answer right away. My sister just got back from shopping and I’ve not had my tea yet lol _

Harry plugged his nearly dead phone into the charger and went to go after Gemma.

“Oh, so you decided that you are, in fact, able to let go of your phone, hmm?” Gemma teased when Harry found her in the kitchen.

“Shut up. It’s not that bad,” Harry said with a sigh as he hopped up onto the counter and grabbed an apple. 

“Okay, so what did Mum say? Why did you even talk about Louis in the first place?”

“God,” Harry groaned as he remembered that entire train wreck. “It was a mess, Gem. I thought it was Louis calling me to answer a text I’d sent him before the match this morning, so I didn’t check who it was.”

“Ah,” Gemma said, with a chuckle. “So a normal Harry mishap, then.”

Harry nodded and pouted, chewing a bite of his apple. “Yeah, pretty much.”

“Did she mention the blind date?”

Harry stopped, mid chew, and turned to his sister with wide eyes. “You  _ knew _ she was going to do that?”

“I might have even supported her in the endeavour originally,” Gemma said, looking ashamed. “In my defence, this was before  _ you _ came.”

Harry covered his face as best he could with his free hand and considered tossing his half eaten apple at her. 

“Well I told her no for now and she backed down for this trip at least, so that’s good. But what the hell are we supposed to do when we actually go up? Am I supposed to explain everything to her and Robin or what?” 

Harry kind of wanted to do so, but he was scared she wouldn’t believe him, even with Gemma. He didn’t want to have to worry about feeling possibly rejected by his own mum.

“Yeah, I think we should. You’re a shit liar,” Gemma said with a smirk.

“You really are so much help and such a great confidence booster. Thank you so much for all of your support during this trying time. Truly,” Harry said, loading his tone with sarcasm. 

“You are so welcome,” she shot back before heading to the cabinet. “Have you eaten? I’m starved.”

“Nah. Not yet.”

They avoided all discussions of Louis, their mum, and blind dates for the rest of the night, instead enjoying a warm meal and more Game of Thrones. Everything else could be dealt with tomorrow.

 

*~~***~~*

 

Harry stared at his phone. What the hell had happened overnight?

It was Sunday morning, and his phone was flooded with notifications. Part of it was that Louis had taken Harry’s advice to heart and had sent him something like thirty texts before finally getting bored and doing something else, but it looked like Harry’s Twitter notifications had also picked up, and he had at least one email waiting for him as well.

Harry decided to start with his email, since that had the fewest notifications. When he opened it, he saw that there was a stock automated response from the company that had come in response to Harry’s initial reach out to Liam, but there was another, personal, answer as well. 

Harry opened it and found Liam himself had responded, and his heart was beating like crazy in excitement. Finally, it felt like he was getting somewhere.

> _ Harry, _
> 
> _ It’s nice to hear from you. I’m still a little unsure what exactly you are looking for with this article, but I have to say I am intrigued, so for the time being I will agree. You will need to discuss details with my manager, Julie, with regards to my schedule and other restrictions. I’ve copied her in on this email so she can reach out to you on Monday and finalise details on when we can get together for the first portion of the interview. _
> 
> _ Have a nice weekend, _
> 
> _ Liam _

Alright. Of course Liam had a manager to work through, Harry should have expected that given how popular Liam obviously was for his production abilities. But despite that, it was okay. Liam was going to work with Harry on this. He was another step closer to getting everyone together at the bungalow so he could finally get home.

Since Harry had to wait for Julie to reply to the email chain, he decided to close out of that and go check his Twitter notifications next. When he opened the app, he found out why it seemed like there were so many. Niall had decided to follow him, reply to Harry’s latest message with a series of DMs,  _ and _ tag Harry in a tweet, which caused others to suddenly decide to also follow Harry. Even in this universe, Niall was the life of the party and a definite trendsetter. It was nice to see some things didn’t change.

Harry checked the tweet Niall tagged him in first and was a little surprised.

**_@NiallOfficial:_ ** _ Gonna get the chance to chat about being on X Factor all those years ago with my mate, @harry_styles ! Follow him for details as it gets closer! _

It seemed Niall was up for it, then. That was good to know. Harry wanted to reply to the tweet with his own, but it would probably be a good idea to check his DMs first.

**_NiallOfficial:_ ** _ Dude, seriously? That’s so cool!  _ __  
**_NiallOfficial:_ ** _ Now i’m gonna have to try to rewatch clips from judges houses and shit and see if I can find you!  _ __  
**_NiallOfficial:_ ** _ Okay, well if you’re part of the gang then I’m good with it. I’m guessing from your profile you’re located in London and I’ll be there for a club opening next week for a day or two, but then I won’t be back in England for another week or so after that.  _ _  
_ **_NiallOfficial:_ ** __ Send me your number and we can text and solidify times that will work, yeah?

Well. That was easier than Harry thought it would be based on the tone of Niall’s last message, but he wasn’t going to look a gift horse in the mouth. The only issue now was that Niall had already tweeted like it would absolutely be getting published, so Harry was going to have to work with Gemma on getting it approved by Logan. If Harry was even still here by that point. This was already getting messy, but it wasn’t Harry’s fault he’d somehow ended up here. He was just doing what he had to in order to try to make it back home.

**_harry_styles:_** _Hey! That sounds great. Just let me know what the dates are that you will be in town and that should work just fine._ _  
_**_harry_styles:_** _My plan for now is to do individual interviews and then try for a group interview, if possible, so letting me know all dates that you will be in or around London/Manchester would make my life a little easier. I would appreciate it!_

Harry finished off by sending him his mobile number and then switched back to reply to Niall’s tweet.

**_@harry_styles:_ ** _ @NiallOfficial thanks for the shout out! I can’t wait to reconnect and talk more about everything we got up to all those years ago. _

Reading it back again, it sounded so contrived, but Harry couldn’t for the life of him figure out how else to do it. Everything else was total shit, so it would have to do. All five-hundred of Harry’s followers would have to deal with it.

Harry chuckled to himself. He had so much more freedom in some ways in this life. Only a few hundred followers instead of several  _ million. _ Most days having that kind of influence was something that boggled his mind, but going back to not really having a presence on social media at all was just as strange to him. Someday maybe he would be able to achieve a happy medium.

With Twitter sorted and both Niall and Liam beginning to come together with the interview process, Harry felt himself getting antsy. He still had what could be weeks, at least, before he could get everyone together in the same space, but he was ready for it.

Except he really wasn’t. His entire story for meeting up with them was that he was going to be doing interviews… and that meant he needed questions.

“Oh shit,” Harry whined. He rolled onto his side in bed and burrowed into the covers a little more. 

Well, he wasn’t meeting with Louis until Tuesday and Niall would be a few days later at the earliest, so Harry could come up with something before then. After all, Harry had done what was probably thousands upon thousands of interviews in the past five years. He knew how they worked and he would, hopefully, have no problem coming up with questions that would actually be interesting and work for the supposed article he was writing.

It was then that Harry remembered all of the texts from Louis that he’d never responded to.

**_Louis:_ ** _ Harold, I’m being absolutely serious right now, but I have no idea how this man has not fallen on his arse yet. _ __  
**_Louis:_ ** _ He truly deserves an award. The dog is still running everywhere and he’s hopelessly tangled in the lead, yet he’s still standing. _ __  
**_Louis:_ ** _ He is truly a great example for dog owners everywhere. _ __  
**_Louis:_ ** _ Are you a dog person? I love dogs. But i’m not against cats either. Cats seem to love me, and I never could figure out why, since I’ve never owned one. _ __  
**_Louis:_ ** _ Then again, I didn’t really have a dog growing up either. Too many people in the house. Adding a dog would have been overkill, honestly. _ __  
**_Louis:_ ** _ I just realised I’m drinking my third tea of the evening. I’m afraid I might float away. Especially since I’ve not eaten yet. _ __  
**_Louis:_ ** _ I mean, I don’t believe there is such a thing as too much tea, but all the same, there should be balance in all things, yeah? _ __  
**_Louis:_ ** _ Just made a cheese toastie and I got it browned perfectly on both sides, I’ll have you know. I believe all is right in the world, and this is proof. _ __  
**_Louis:_ ** _ Oh my God, one of my other sisters, Phoebe, just texted me, right? _ __  
**_Louis:_ ** _ She’s got a boyfriend now, so she gets out of babysitting as often as she can to spend time with him. Anyway _ __  
**_Louis:_ ** _ It used to be that she was the only one allowed to read the little twins a particular story for bed. It was her favourite to read and no one else could do the voices quite right. _ __  
**_Louis:_ ** _ Well she’s now in a full on strop because apparently Daisy, her twin, has usurped her throne while she’s been out with her boyfriend!  _ __  
**_Louis:_ ** _ Oh God, and now Daisy is texting me too. _ __  
**_Louis:_ ** _ Okay, I actually should probably go and try to help calm them down. There’s a reason they’re texting me and not someone else lol _ _  
_ **_Louis:_ ** __ Have a good rest of your night, Harry. Sorry for flooding you with messages. But not really. Ha!

Harry got to the end of the thread and his cheeks hurt from how wide he was smiling. 

**_Harry:_ ** _ Don’t be sorry! That was an amazing ride from start to finish. _ __  
**_Harry:_ ** _ I am sorry to say I would not have nearly the same abilities for keeping on my feet if that had happened to me with the dog lol _ __  
**_Harry:_ ** _ I hope that Phoebe wasn’t too distraught by Daisy’s newfound abilities though haha _ _  
_ **_Harry:_ ** __ Happy Sunday, my day is already going well and I haven’t even got out of bed, so I wish the same good vibes to you.

Harry locked his phone and went about his morning routine. Gemma joined him a little later and they enjoyed a lazy Sunday together. 

That evening, Gemma was making tea before Michal came over when she cleared her throat. “You’ve gotta tell Mum about everything, Harry.”

The guilt that had been winding its way through him off and on since yesterday turned to the leaden weight of nerves and made his stomach drop. “I know,” Harry said quietly.

“I’ll help you, because I do believe you now, but I’m not sure what the best way to do it would be.”

Harry looked up and saw Gemma biting her lip as she stirred the chicken and veg in the pan. She was obviously concentrating and trying to think the situation through, which was kind, but Harry had last night as well, and he hadn’t come to any conclusions.

“I don’t think I want to just throw it at her right when we get there,” Harry slowly mused. “I think it might be easier to have her see for herself how I’m a little different and then when the questions inevitably come, just go from there.”

Gemma winced. “I’m a fan of doing it quick and fast to get it over with myself, but your plan makes sense. She would probably handle that better.”

Harry sighed and allowed them to sit quietly for a moment before a thought struck him. “So what about Michal? He’s not coming with us, is he?”

Gemma shook her head. “He does most of the time, but he couldn’t take the time off so he’s staying here.” Gemma hesitated before adding softly, “We’re pretty serious, though. Me and Michal.”

“Yeah?” Harry asked, hoping that was all she would need to keep going.

“Yeah. We were planning on moving in together, actually, but then everything happened with you and Jonathan and…” Gemma shrugged. “I don’t think my Harry realised how close we were and I’ve been wanting to tell someone, so yeah. There you go, I guess.”

Harry smiled softly at his sister. “Well, I hardly know him because you two just barely started dating where I’m from, so tell me more!”

Gemma seemed to light up. Her movements became more animated as she went on. More than once Harry was forced to go into the kitchen and take over some of the cooking, she had become so distracted. It was fun, it was comfortable, and it was the closest Harry had felt to belonging in this time since waking up here. 

“Hey, are you listening to me?” Gemma smacked Harry gently on the side of his head. “Your phone won’t stop ringing. Go answer it already, will you?”

Harry rubbed his ear that was twinging just a bit, thanks to how she’d hit it, but made sure to bump her shoulder with his own as he left the kitchen and it made him feel better. It was only then that he realised his phone was still ringing. Who would be calling him?

When Harry found where his phone had fallen between the couch cushions, the call had gone to voicemail, but Harry found four missed calls, all from some contact titled  _ DO NOT ANSWER! _ that also appeared to be against leaving voicemails.

“Gemma? Do I owe money to collectors or something?” It was the only explanation he could think of. He’d seen people in films title the calls from the collection agencies as something along the same lines so they wouldn’t get roped into uncomfortable conversations with them.

“What?” Gemma’s voice was high with surprise and amusement. “No, you’re the most frugal person I know. What are you on about, Harry?”

Harry’s phone began to ring again, so he held it up so Gemma could see it when he rejoined her.

“Oh, shit,” she said quietly. “You don’t have him blocked yet?”

Harry’s eyes widened. “Is this...Jonathan?”

Gemma nodded, and Harry was confused. 

“Apparently he’s not blocked, no. Does he do this often?”

Gemma shrugged. “He used to, only when he was drunk, but I don’t think he has recently. I can’t be sure, though.”

Harry decided that was enough. He would end this for the Other Harry, once and for all. He swiped his finger across the screen and answered saying, “Hey, dickhead.”

Gemma’s jaw dropped and she let out a surprised squawk before covering her mouth and immediately turning off the hob so she could focus on the phone call.

“I...Harry?” a deep, sluggish voice rumbled through the phone.

“Yeah, fucker. Why are you still calling me?” Harry was actually getting a bit of a thrill out of this. It felt great to finally tell someone how he felt without having to worry if they would run to the media over it. In this world, no one cared what Harry Styles said or thought about people unless it was officially published in one of his articles. 

“Why are you talking to me like this?” the voice asked, incredulously. “We were in love! We were going to be married! You’ve  _ never _ spoken to me like this before.”

“Yeah, well maybe I should have. Especially since you decided, ever so kindly, that you didn’t want me anymore, yeah? So listen up. I’m blocking your number. If you find a way around it, I’m going to change it completely. Do not contact me in any way, shape, or form. This was not a clean break before, but I’m making it one now. Stay the fuck away from me, Jonathan.”

And with that, Harry hung up. He went to the contact and set it to blocked as well, before turning to Gemma.

She still had her hand covering her mouth, but he could tell she was smiling wide by the way her eyes were nearly slits. It looked like she might have cried a little too, because her eyeliner that was always perfect was a little smudged.

“I can’t believe you did that.” Her voice was so quiet, almost breathless, Harry could barely hear her. She shook her head and said a little stronger, “I have fucking waited for  _ months _ for you to do that!” Gemma started laughing maniacally before she threw her arms around Harry’s shoulders and squeezed him as hard as she could.

“I’ve gotta still breathe, you know?” he wheezed, but he wrapped his arms around her and held on just as tight.

“I love you, H. I’m so proud of you.”

Harry rolled his eyes. “Well, it’s not like I was the one who had been in love with him. It was probably a lot easier for me to do than for your Harry. But thanks.”

Gemma kissed his cheek and then went to plate their meal. “All the same. That was amazing. You just made my entire night.”

“What did I miss?” Michal asked as he came through the door. “Sounds exciting and now I’m sad I was too late for it.”

Harry let Gemma say hello while Harry looked through the other notifications he had missed while they’d been prepping dinner.

**_Louis:_ ** _ I’ve just had to reschedule some meetings for work, so I can’t meet on Tuesday anymore. Would Monday for lunch work instead? _

Harry didn’t care when they met, as long as he’d be able to see Louis.

**_Harry:_ ** _ Sure! You tell me when and where and I’ll try to get there. _ _  
_ **_Harry:_ ** _ PS - I’m on a bit of a high. I just told my wanker of an ex-fiance to fuck off and never contact me again before finally blocking him! It feels AMAZING! _

Harry knew it was a little early to be sharing that kind of information with Louis, but knowing how he and Louis clicked and went from zero to sixty back home, he didn’t think Louis would mind. Besides, Louis was kind of his only friend right now, and he felt like this was something to be celebrated. 

Harry’s phone vibrated and Gemma was still cheering Harry on and reenacting the scene for Michal, so Harry sat down at the table to read Louis’ responses.

**_Louis:_ ** _ Oh shit! Go Harry! I didn’t know you’d been engaged. Sorry if that’s a recent thing, but I’m glad you told him what’s what! _ _  
_ **_Louis:_ ** _ As for tomorrow, I’ll be in London all day, but have several hours free around lunch. How about you choose a place and I’ll figure how long it’ll take me to get there? Ha! _

Harry smiled, but realised he had no idea where to take Louis. He watched as Michal headed to the toilet, and then turned to his sister.

“Hey, Gemma? Where’s somewhere nearby that’s not the pub that does a good lunch?”

Gemma placed the plates on the table as she hummed, thinking.

“There’s a cafe a few blocks away you really like. Let me see if we have the menu here still.” She rooted around in a drawer for a minute before she let out a cheer. “Ah-hah! Here it is!” Gemma sat herself at the table as she handed Harry the rather dog-eared menu. “You love the food there, are always raving about it to me. I’ve not been, myself, but you’re always trying to convince me to go. Why?”

Michal walked back in carrying a sweet, white wine Harry loved. Harry flashed him a wide smile and a thumbs up before he answered. 

“Louis is going to be in London tomorrow so we’re doing the first part of his interview over lunch and he wanted me to pick the place,” Harry explained. 

They all sat down and began to eat, allowing each of them to savour a bite before continuing the conversation. God, the food really was delicious. He was going to have to get the recipe from Gemma and try to memorise it so he could make it once he got back home.

Gemma smirked. “A date, huh? And what article? I thought…” Gemma paused and glanced at Michal before clearing her throat and looking back to Harry. “I thought you were focusing on your photography for a little while?”

Harry held back a laugh as he watched her and she kicked at him beneath the table. Michal, thankfully, seemed to be completely unaware of their little squabble. 

“Yeah, I was, but then I had this great idea where I reach out to, uhm, some of the other former contestants who also didn’t win and write an article about how our experiences on The X Factor had an effect on us and what we chose for careers, that kind of thing,” Harry explained with only a slight hiccup with how he needed to refer to it all in front of Michal. “I’m going to do individual interviews and a group one, if possible. I was hoping Robin would let us use the bungalow.”

Gemma raised her eyebrows, impressed. “That’s actually a really interesting idea. I like it.” She finished chewing her bite and swallowed before chuckling a little. “I like that you didn’t discount that it’s a date, too.”

“I…” Harry choked a little on the wine he’d been trying to swallow. It burned and his eyes watered a little, but otherwise he was fine. Once he’d cleared his airway, Harry said, “It’s not a date.”

Gemma hummed before saying, “The lady doth protest too much, methinks. Either way, I’m excited you two are getting to meet up. Have fun, H.”

  
  



	4. Chapter 4

*~~***~~*

 

Harry looked down at his phone and reminded himself about how to use the app Gemma had shown him that records interviews for him to listen to again later. 

Harry was kind of nervous about his questions, but at the same time wasn’t too worried. He knew that he and Louis never had a problem finding topics to talk about, and with Harry giving Louis a direction to go in, he’d probably have plenty of material that would make this feel legitimate.

It was then Harry finally acknowledged the time. It was fifteen minutes after Louis was supposed to meet him and Harry had already decided what he wanted to eat and what Louis would probably choose for himself in addition to fumbling with his phone, but there was still no sign of him. He hadn’t texted or anything either, so Harry decided to give him another five minutes before reaching out and making sure everything was okay.

Harry bit his lip and tried to stop his incessant foot tapping. He was probably annoying someone at a nearby table with the constant  _ tap, tap, tap. _

“Harry! God, I’m so sorry.” 

Harry looked up when he heard Louis’ voice and it was then that he felt like he’d actually been hit by some sort of force that caused every last breath to leave his body.

In an intellectual and aesthetic sense, Harry always knew that Louis was an attractive man. There had been a draw between them when they’d first met that neither of them could ignore, so it wasn’t like he didn’t  _ know _ that Louis was beautiful. It was just that after living with him and learning more about him than Harry knew about his own sister, it made it so he’d become almost immune to Louis. 

The only times that it really was harder for Harry to ignore was when Louis was particularly dressed up for an event or a red carpet. Those were few and far enough between that he easily forgot about them, though, especially since recently they’d been allowed to dress down more than they did in the early years.

Nothing in Harry’s experience of the past five years could have prepared him for the image Louis presented for him now. Louis was in a suit that had obviously been tailored specifically for him and it hugged every damn curve he had. If that wasn’t enough, he had his hair perfectly styled into a messy quiff so that every bit of attention was drawn to the fact that Louis was wearing glasses.

Harry had always been a bit of a softie for Louis in glasses. Louis hated the way he looked in them, so he avoided going anywhere in public while wearing them, instead preferring contacts. Harry loved the way he looked soft and yet sharp at the same time while in them, though, and seeing Louis in glasses while the rest of him was so pristinely dressed in professional clothes, that were definitely meant to impress, was more than Harry’s system could handle.

“Harry? Alright?” Louis checked, placing his hand gently on Harry’s shoulder. It was his touch that finally pulled Harry out of his thoughts.

“Oh, yeah, sorry. Just...yeah,” Harry said, his words completely jumbled. He laughed to himself as he stood up and opened his arms. “Hope you don’t mind a hug. It feels a little like seeing an old friend again.”

“It does, doesn’t it?” Louis responded, easily going in for one of his classic hugs. It wasn’t as tight and didn’t last as long as Harry was used to, but why should it have been? This Louis didn’t know him very well yet. Harry should be pleased he got anything at all.

Harry smiled and pulled back before sitting down and trying to run his hands through the ends of his hair like he usually did when he was nervous. He kept forgetting this version of himself wore his hair short. “Sit down, make yourself comfortable. Your tea’s probably cold by now, sorry about that.”

“Oh, no. It’s my fault. I’m sorry for being so late. You know how traffic is around here, and I got out of my meeting a little late.”

Harry bit his lip in an attempt to keep himself breathing and centered in the here and now. This was Louis, for fuck’s sake. He shouldn’t be having this kind of reaction to being around him, but he was. His body was physically responding to Louis’ presence and it was like a spike of caffeine that was making his system go haywire. 

Harry smiled and took a deep breath. He could do this. “It’s not a problem. I’ve got more flexibility with my schedule than you do, so let me know when you need to be off again.”

“Thanks. So what’s good here?”

Harry and Louis fell into an easy conversation, just like Harry had known would happen, and once their meals were done, Louis was actually the one to bring them back to the interview.

“So, I’ve got about another forty minutes before I should be off again. Want to do the questions here or somewhere else?”

Harry had almost allowed himself to forget the reason for their dining together. He was so used to enjoying meals with Louis and not needing an excuse to be together that he’d allowed himself to slip back into that. 

But, of course, that wasn’t how it was in this life.

“Right, yeah.” Harry fumbled with his phone a little, pulling up the app that would record them. “Is it okay if I record this part?”

“Course,” Louis said easily. “Figured you probably would.”

Harry smiled and hit record before pulling up his questions. “Okay, I don’t want this to be too formal, so I’m going to just give you discussion topics and you can take it away. I’m hoping this will be enough basis for the individual interview and then hopefully we’ll find a time all of us can get together for the group portion. Sound good?”

“Yeah, sounds great.” 

“Okay,” Harry looked at his questions and tried to figure out where he was going to start. “So we know you unfortunately didn’t make it very far in The X Factor process, since you were cut during the bootcamp portion of that season, but did you continue to try to make it in the industry in another way before eventually changing gears?”

Louis smiled a little, but Harry could tell it wasn’t truly a happy one. “No, not really. I’d made some videos on YouTube before that, but after X Factor, I decided it was time to find something else. If I had made it a little further, I might have tried a different avenue, but my confidence in my own performing abilities was pretty strained to begin with, so after that I knew it was time to follow another passion.”

“Football,” Harry supplied.

“Yeah, football.” Louis’ smile turned to something more genuine when the conversation moved to football. “I’d always had a hard time choosing between the two, you know? A drama kid with a penchant for singing on stage didn’t always go very well with the footballer profile in sixth form.”

Harry chuckled easily. “I suppose not.”

Louis rolled his eyes at himself. “So yeah. With The X Factor not really going anywhere, the choice was effectively made for me.”

“Did the experiences you had with the entire audition process as well as the tips you were given and rigours of the bootcamp process have a lasting effect on you?”

Louis squinted as he pursed his lips and looked up at the ceiling a little. He did that a lot in interviews when he was trying to cover the emotions he knew he wouldn’t be able to hide easily. It looked like the media training he’d had for his PR job had taught him similar ways to cover for himself as he pulled his thoughts together.

“Yes and no,” Louis eventually said. “In some ways it definitely taught me that people aren’t going to do me any favours, so if I wanted something, I was going to have to really work for it and fight for it. And I’d need to grow a thick skin while I was getting there. But in other ways, it took awhile for me to get past the low it threw me into, not even making it to judges houses, you know?”

Harry nodded. Yeah, he knew. He felt it for those few minutes when they all thought they were being sent back home before they were pulled onto the stage to be put together into the band. He couldn’t imagine trying to live with that feeling and keep going and find something that could make him feel good and of worth again.

“Yeah. That makes sense,” Harry answered quietly.

“Yeah,” Louis echoed. They sat in silence for a moment before Louis took another deep breath in and then continued. “So, in a way, I do have everyone who worked with us during those few weeks to thank for where I am today, but I also like to take the credit for that. I worked damn hard to get here and I’m proud of myself for it.”

Harry watched Louis, and he could see that pride lighting him from the inside out. It was the same kind of look that Louis got when he finished a song he was proud of, or after a particularly strong performance. He glowed on a normal day, but there were times like right now where it looked like he could light the entire room.

“You should be.”

The rest of the interview went smoothly and by the end, Harry had no idea why he had been so nervous. If he could do this with Louis, he knew he would have no problem with Niall or Liam.

“Thanks so much for meeting with me, Louis. It was really great catching up and seeing you again.” Harry ended the recording and put his phone into his pocket. He didn’t want to leave the bubble they’d created for the two of them, but Louis needed to get back for his next meeting. Harry wasn’t going to make him miss that, even if he wished he could.

“It was great, Harry! We’ll have to get together again another time. I really enjoyed this.” Louis stopped in the middle of wrapping his scarf back around his neck, the only layer he was wearing over his suit to keep him warm, and looked into Harry’s eyes with a piercing gaze. Harry wasn’t sure what it meant, but it felt important. “I’ve enjoyed our texting. I’m really glad you reached out to me.”

Harry blushed a little under Louis’ intense eye contact, but he had to smile in return. “Me too. It’s been a lot of fun.”

Louis smiled until his eyes were crinkly on the edges and then nodded to the door. “My ride’s here. Thanks again, Harry. I’ll see you again soon.” 

Harry stood up for a quick hug, and then Louis was gone. In some ways, Harry was incredibly relieved because that meant the first major step to getting back home had gone smoothly, but at the same time he was disappointed. The meeting with Louis was reigniting thoughts and feelings he hadn’t experienced in years, and he’d forgotten how truly magnetic Louis was. Harry would be happy never being away from him for longer than a few days, but he was sure he would manage. He had to. Their hiatus was going to be longer than initially planned, after all, and Louis himself had said they needed space from each other. 

Sighing, Harry put his layers back on and made sure the bill was taken care of before heading out into the cold, back to his flat to run over everything that had just happened.

 

*~~***~~*

 

“How’d it go?” Gemma called out from her room. She hadn’t gone to the office today, insisting she could write better and focus more in her own room instead of her cubicle. Harry didn’t believe her. He knew she just wanted details on his lunch with Louis as soon as it was over instead of waiting.

Harry walked and leaned against the door frame. He ran his hands through his short hair, messing up the styling he’d worked on for at least half an hour earlier. It had served its purpose, and now he could let the curls run loose all they wanted.

“It was good. It felt so nice to be with him again, you know? Like, he was still Louis, even if this version isn’t the exact same as my best friend. He still mostly is.” Harry paused and pulled at his lower lip. “Does that make any sense? I feel like I’m not making sentences that have actual meaning. I probably sound like a crazy person.”

“I think that’s to be expected, considering the circumstances,” Gemma said with a laugh. “Okay, so tell me more. Did you flirt? Did he flirt back? Was it a date? Did you kiss? When are you seeing each other next?”

“God,” Harry said, eyes wider than the overwhelmed smile on his face. It had been awhile since he’d seen Gemma so excited about anything. It was fun, but at the same time, there really wasn’t anything to tell. “Calm down, will you? It was literally just two friends catching up. That’s it.”

Gemma tilted her head and levelled Harry with a dark stare as she arched one eyebrow. She had that look down to an art in both universes, and it unnerved Harry every time she chose to use it.

“That’s not all. There’s more. I know there is.”

Harry looked at the ceiling as he sighed. He really didn’t want to say anything to her about how good Louis looked, because he knew he would never hear the end of it. Plus, if he was being honest, Harry wasn’t sure if she got him started, that he  _ could _ ever stop talking about how stunning Louis was, and that would absolutely be a problem. Harry couldn’t let his feelings for his best friend run amok now. He hadn’t kept a tight lid on them for five years for nothing. They were only friends, and that was all they would ever be.

“Oh come on, just spit it out. What are you thinking?”

Harry glared at his sister before turning and heading to his own bedroom. “He’s maybe kind of insanely beautiful, but that’s all I’m going to say,” he called over his shoulder. He heard a cry of victory from Gemma before he shut his door and pulled his phone out of his pocket. He needed to get out of these jeans that were definitely a little too tight on this not so toned body.

A text flashed on the screen as Harry threw it to the bed, and it was shortly followed by a couple more. Harry quickly changed into a pair of joggers then picked up his phone.

**_Louis:_ ** _ I really did have a great time today _ __  
**_Louis:_ ** _ It might be all I can think about during this boring as fuck meeting _ _  
_ **_Louis:_ ** __ Think we could get together again this weekend? 

Harry stared at his phone. Shit. What was he supposed to do? He couldn’t accept a date invitation from Louis, that would be like...a conflict of interests or something, wouldn’t it? Did that even apply in this situation? Everything was a conflict of interests. Shit.

Well, for now, Harry wasn’t able to do anything with Louis this weekend anyway, because he would be back in Holmes Chapel visiting his mum.

**_Harry:_ ** _ Unfortunately I’m booked all weekend _ _  
_ **_Harry:_ ** _ My sister and I are going to visit my mum, but maybe another time? _

That left it open ended enough that Harry wasn’t completely rejecting him, but at the same time putting it off for Future Harry to deal with since Harry didn’t want to worry about it at the moment.

**_Louis:_ ** _ Oh God, I’m sorry. You mentioned that a couple times earlier and I forgot _ _  
_ **_Louis:_ ** _ Definitely another time, then. _

Harry pulled up his notes app and looked at the questions he had used for Louis and how he thought they went. Some got better answers than others, but overall he thought they worked well for his purposes. He hoped they would work for Niall and Liam as well, because his plan was to use the same questions. 

Harry pulled up his calendar app and found it completely empty. Well, okay then. Harry hoped that meant there weren’t any preset appointments he would have to flub his way through. He quickly added the time and place he had scheduled for Niall’s interview on Wednesday as well as the time for Saturday that Julie had set up for him to meet with Liam. 

It was fortuitous that Harry would already be up north with his family, since Liam’s schedule was booked pretty solid and there was no way he would be able to make it down to London. Harry was planning on getting an idea of when Niall would be in the UK over the next month and hopefully there would be a time that would work for all three of the others and their busy lives. 

Harry shook his head. He never would have guessed that it would be so difficult to get his best friends into the same room as each other when, for the longest time, they’d been living on top of one another. 

Harry balked a little as he considered the fact he could potentially still be in this time for a month or longer. There wasn’t really anything he could do about it. He could come up with no other alternative for how to get home, so he would do what he had to in order to make this come to fruition, but it did make his stomach tie up in knots and cause him vague queasiness thinking about the length of time it could potentially take.

Hopefully all of the worry and fear and planning would be worth it in the end. 

 

*~~***~~*

 

Harry was nervous. He knew he shouldn’t be, because it was just Niall of all fucking people, but he was. He was kind of scared out of his mind, actually, because Niall had barely talked with him before now. Harry was used to talking to him several times every day, and then for the past week he’d spoken with him once on the phone and the rest had been via text or Twitter, and none of them felt quite like  _ his _ Niall. Probably because he wasn’t Harry’s at all.

Harry needed to stop comparing people and situations like this, because it was making his brain hurt.

He took a deep breath and finally stepped out of the rain and into the tiny restaurant that looked dark and dingy from the outside. As soon as Harry walked in, though, he understood why Niall had recommended it. It was all warm tones and smooth wood softened even further by the acoustic style music playing in the background. It was the kind of place that would have a live musician on a Sunday afternoon for an intimate meal setting, and Harry already knew he’d want to come back.

“Harry! Good to see ya!” Niall called from a table to Harry’s left. 

It was shocking to see Niall as a brunette, despite the fact it really shouldn’t have been a surprise. All the photos Harry had found of his friend in this universe had been without his signature bleached hair, but he still hadn’t fully been ready for it until now. It looked good, and he knew that he would have to start seeing what he could do to convince Lou and their team to allow his Niall to let his roots grow in a bit more or  _ something. _ The label still wanted him to be the “blonde one”, but Harry liked this. It felt a bit more true to Niall somehow.

Harry smiled and waved before heading over to his friend, who immediately wrapped him up in a big hug. Harry was glad, he had missed Niall. He didn’t smell quite right, this version of Niall seemed fond of a different cologne than the Tom Ford his Niall preferred, but otherwise the embrace felt very much the same.

“I already ordered. Hope you don’t mind. Was famished after the long flight. Didn’t know what you’d want though, so I told them to wait for your order.”

Harry smiled and sat down. “Yeah, that’s just fine.”

Niall stuck to small talk, which felt odd in some ways, but they were still trying to find their footing with one another. Niall seemed to be giving off his relaxed vibe while still keeping himself on guard, like he didn’t quite trust Harry. It was the version of himself he gave the public when he was working or in interviews back home, but never before with Harry. 

Then again, in this instance, Harry was the interviewer. He shouldn’t expect Niall to open up and be as relaxed as Louis was. He and Niall didn’t have the same memories of meeting each other in this life as he and Louis did.

Harry made his way through the meal enjoying their conversation, but had a hard time figuring out how exactly he could make Niall feel more at ease. It was when they’d had a bit of a quiet spell after their meal had finished but before the plates had been cleared that Niall cleared his throat and leaned forward.

“Listen, Harry,” Niall started, but he wouldn't look Harry in the eye. He kept them trained on the table. Eventually he did lift them to meet Harry’s cautious gaze, and he could see the nerves playing in them. “I don’t usually do interviews. I’m not sure how to handle this kind of a situation, alright? This is the first time anyone other than someone from back home or a family member has wanted to talk to me about The X Factor, so I’m still a little surprised you chose me.”

Harry smiled at him. “You remember what it was like? When we were first given our roommates for bootcamp?” Harry was thinking on his feet, but he hoped what he had to say and what he remembered of their time on the show would work for convincing Niall to relax. “I think you had Liam, and that was the most awkward combination I’d ever seen in my life.”

Niall laughed a little. “That guy was nice, but yeah. You’re right. Awkward was a good description for us.” 

“He’s going to be another person in the article, actually. But the reason I wanted to talk to you, as well as Liam, is I remembered you playing guitar in the stairwell and always having a group of people surrounding you.” 

Harry remembered not getting to spend much time with Niall during that crazy time, besides seeing him every once in awhile. It was only those passing glances that later led to Harry recognising his Niall when they were chosen to stand alongside each other on the stage that fateful afternoon. Harry tried to keep himself focused rather than getting carried away with his own memories, and cleared his throat. 

“You were the life of the party and it always looked like you were having so much fun. It seemed like you wanted to make sure that you got to experience every single thing you possibly could while you had the chance. I guess I hoped you’d have some great things to say about it for me to use in the article. Not only about your experiences there, but the way in which that time helped you make future choices in your life.”

Niall squinted his eyes. “You seriously remembered me after eight years because I was the blonde kid playing guitar in the stairwell? How the hell did you find me based on that?”

Harry was a little stumped at that. “I...have a good memory.”

“No shit,” Niall mumbled. “Alright. Well. Let’s do this, but sorry if it’s not worth much.”

Harry smiled. “Whatever you say will be perfect. Is it okay if I record it?”

Niall bit at his nails and nodded. Harry started the recording and decided to not even look at his notes. He didn’t  _ really _ need them anyway. He wasn’t going to be writing this article at all, if things went as planned.

“Okay, so let’s start out by just talking about your experience on the X Factor in general. Was it a positive time for you? Do you feel like you learned much from your time there? Just anything like that would be great to get us going.”

Niall was quiet for a few moments before he answered. “At the time I loved it. I was having a blast, even if I was also the most anxious I’d ever been in my entire life. I felt like I had constant energy thrumming through me and I was afraid that if it stopped, I’d go home.” Niall shrugged and his eyes looked cautious and a little sad. “Didn’t seem to matter. The energy didn’t stop, and I still got sent home.”

Harry sat and waited for Niall to think about what he wanted to say next. Niall never was afraid of having a little quiet as he thought through the point he wanted to make. 

“I think in the end, it probably was a positive experience,” Niall finally said slowly as he met Harry’s eyes again. “There were a lot of negatives to it for me personally due to my own health issues and other shit that wasn’t related to the X Factor at all, but I had the time of my life too. I also made some really great connections that helped me get where I am with my profession now.”

Harry smiled. “Networking at the ripe age of sixteen, huh?”

Niall finally smiled the first genuine smile he’d given Harry since they’d met. “Gotta work those contacts. It’s all about who you know. I learned that at a young age.”

After that, it felt like Niall was a little more relaxed with Harry. The other questions led to great discussion about memories from childhood, lessons learned while on the show, and how Niall felt they had helped or worked against him as he tried to move past the experience. 

Harry probably looked like an idiot, sitting there smiling like a proud mum, but he really was so happy for Niall and Louis both. Getting cut at bootcamp, even for the few minutes before they were put together as a band, had felt like a crushing moment for Harry. Working past that and using those experiences to that point to help him as he went in a different direction would have been extremely difficult, but both of them had done so incredibly well with it and were now amazingly successful businessmen in their own right.

“I think that’s all I’ve got for you for today,” Harry said as he turned off the recording and pulled out his notepad. “We do need to try to find a time that will work for all of us to get together for a night and do the group interview portion. What are some dates that you’ll be close to London or Manchester?”

Niall pulled out his own two phones and consulted both calendars. He had a small grouping of days within the next few weeks that he’d be available, so Harry made note of them and anticipated sending them to Liam and Julie in order to get started on booking their group meetup. Harry was more than a little anxious to get to that point already and get himself home, but he was doing his best to be patient and not push anyone.

“That wasn’t so bad, Harry,” Niall said as he stood up and put his jacket on. It was still raining outside, and it looked to be the only protection he’d brought with him for the elements. Harry didn’t envy him at all. “I’m glad I agreed to meet with you. I feel like it actually did me some good to think about my time on the show and put it into perspective with where I am now.”

Harry leaned in for a hug before putting on his own coat. “I’m glad to hear it. I didn’t want this to be a bad time for you. More like a time for reflection.”

Niall nodded. “Okay. Well, I hope what you got works and let me know what the others say for the group interview. Have a good rest of the night, Harry.”

Harry bid Niall farewell and watched him walk out and rush down the street to the nearest tube station.

Harry didn’t have any plans for the rest of the night and Gemma was out until late with Michal, so Harry figured he would head to the flat and pack for the trip to visit his mum.

Harry considered the fact that he’d come close to referring to the flat as home, but he hadn’t quite done it yet. Same with his mum’s house. It used to be that when he referred to going home, he meant visiting his mum, but it had been a few years since he’d done that. These days, Harry slept in houses he owned, or hotel rooms, or the tour bus, but he wasn’t even sure where home was when it came to a physical place. The flat this Harry shared with Gemma was nice, but he still didn’t quite feel right calling it home. Home was the time he belonged in, where he was trying to return. Maybe once he got back he could try to figure out where specifically he belonged.

Despite the delays the rain brought, it didn’t take Harry too long to get back. He dried off and ordered a take away while he began to pack. He may have technically just eaten with Niall, but he was already starting to feel hungry again after all their talking and the trip home, and it would take awhile for the food to be delivered anyway, so he didn’t allow himself to feel too guilty for eating two meals so close together.

Harry was just trying to figure out if this Harry had a container for his toothbrush to travel in when his phone buzzed.

**_Louis:_ ** _ God this has been the week from hell and it’s not even half over yet _ _  
_ **_Louis:_ ** _ When I was younger I used to wish for the weekend to come, but at this point I think I’d be happy for something to just go how it should, you know? _

Harry read the texts and wasn’t sure how to respond. He and this Louis hadn’t really had deeper discussions about things like this. Harry was used to venting to Louis and vice versa back home before consoling each other with a snuggle, ice cream, and a film they both loved, but he wasn’t sure how to go about things here.

Before he could think of a response, Louis sent another message.

**_Louis:_ ** _ Shit, I’m sorry. You hardly know me and here I am unloading everything on you.  _

Harry’s eyes widened. He definitely didn’t want Louis to feel bad for ranting when he needed to. He had to find a way to help him feel better without overstepping any boundaries that might possibly be there.

**_Harry:_ ** _ No no, it’s okay! Say whatever you need to.  _ _  
_ **_Harry:_ ** _ What’s made the week so bad? _

Harry had barely set his phone down when Louis’ response came through.

**_Louis:_ ** _ Can I call you? It would seriously be too much to type out and I’m tired. _

**_Harry:_ ** _ As long as you don’t mind me putting you on speaker phone so I can keep packing ;)  _

Harry’s phone began to ring almost immediately and Louis’ face lit up the screen. It was a photo of him from when they got together on Monday, and Harry almost let the call go to voicemail he was so busy admiring it.

He finally shook himself out of the semi-trance he had fallen into and swiped the screen. “Hey, Lou.”

Louis began talking immediately and Harry put him on speaker before setting the phone on his desk so he could keep pulling his things together.

“God, I was wondering if you were going to ignore me once I tried calling. Glad you didn’t in the end.” Louis’ voice was teasing and lighthearted, but Harry knew he’d had a rough day and was just trying to lighten his own mood.

“Yeah, I thought about it, but then decided I should probably let you vent like I promised I would.”

Louis snorted in response before groaning a little. “It really was such a shit day, H. Like, the whole week has been horrible, but today especially.”

Harry folded a shirt and placed it in his bag before asking, “You wanna start with today? Or go further back to set it all up for full dramatic effect?” Knowing Louis, he’d want to set up the backstory first, but Harry knew better than to dictate Louis’ storytelling technique.

“Oh, I’m definitely gonna set this up for you.”

Louis went back to Sunday, when one of the club’s best footballers had been arrested for drink driving and that apparently set off an entire domino effect of everything else. Harry made appropriately shocked, sympathetic, or angered sounds and responses as required by what Louis was saying until he had his bag fully packed, the take away had been delivered and eaten, and Harry was lying on his bed with his phone tucked against his ear.

“And  _ that _ is why this week has been so bad.”

Harry blinked and pulled the phone away from his ear. “Wow, and it only took you two hours to explain all of it!”

Louis squawked in protest before he paused and said, “Wait, really?”

Harry chuckled. “Yeah. It’s past nine.”

“Well, shit.” 

Harry could hear rustling and Louis was probably running his hands over his face in exhaustion. It was a move Harry knew well. “I’m sorry I wasted so much of your time complaining to you. Some friend I am, huh?”

Harry felt warmth bloom in his chest and radiate out towards his limbs. Louis called them friends. Harry had considered them to be so, but his judgement was admittedly a bit biased in this situation, so he was glad to hear Louis agreed.

“It’s completely okay. All of us go through shit sometimes.” Harry bit his lip, trying to figure out what was best to say next. “Hopefully your ranting helped you feel better.”

“You know what? It did. Thanks for listening.”

“Of course.” Harry took a deep breath and closed his eyes when he finally decided to go for it. It wouldn’t be quite the same, what with them in different cities, but it would be close enough to how they would cheer each other up on tour that hopefully it would work now. “Are you up for a film? I was thinking of watching something.  _ Love, Actually _ perhaps? We could both watch it on Netflix at the same time and eat ice cream.”

“Fuck, I love that film,” Louis said with a sigh. “How did you even know?”

Harry smirked. He knew a lot more about Louis’ likes and dislikes than Louis probably wanted to know. Sometimes he felt bad not telling Louis the whole truth about who he was and where he was from, but he didn’t feel like Louis was ready to hear that quite yet. And Harry wasn’t really ready to tell him either.

“It’s one of my favourites, so I was just being selfish with the suggestion,” Harry said with a laugh. 

“Alright. Let’s do this, Styles. Movie night via phone.”

 

*~~***~~*

 

“Haz, love. Get up, or your back won’t forgive you in the morning.”

Gemma’s voice worked its way through Harry’s subconscious and pulled him back from his dream. Harry blinked awake and found that he was still holding his phone to his ear and the menu asking Harry to rate  _ Love, Actually _ on Netflix was sitting on the screen. Shit, he’d fallen asleep during it.

Harry sat up and looked at his phone to find the call was still going with Louis.

“Hey, Lou?” Harry rasped before clearing his throat so he could speak better. “You still there?”

Gemma arched her brow at Harry while mouthing, “Louis?”

Harry held up his finger in a plea for her to wait to start her interrogation until after he’d hung up and she just rolled her eyes and went to set her things down in the kitchen.

There still wasn’t a response from Louis, but when he listened harder he heard faint snores. It seemed he’d fallen asleep as well. “Night, Lou,” Harry murmured before he clicked end and pulled up their texting conversation.

**_Harry:_ ** _ We both fell asleep! How dare we! We owe the film better _ _  
_ **_Harry:_ ** _ I hope you sleep well and feel better in the morning xx _

He finally locked his phone and stood up to stretch out his back. It only popped a few times, thankfully, and wasn’t hurting yet. That was good considering they had several hours to spend in the car tomorrow.

“Okay so what the hell is going on with you two. Are you dating or what?” Gemma asked as she walked back into the room.

“No,” Harry said quickly. “We’re not dating. God, Gemma. Not everything is about romantic relationships. I was being a good friend.”

Gemma stared at Harry blankly. Completely deadpan she said, “You fell asleep talking to him on the phone while you were watching  _ Love, Actually.” _

Harry nodded. “Yeah.”

She blinked, expression not changing at all. “Yeah, you’re right. I’m obviously reading into this. That seems like a totally lad-dude-bro-pal kind of thing. Absolutely.”

Harry rolled his eyes and turned to go to his bedroom. “He’s had a bad week, Gemma. I was just trying to cheer him up.”

“With a romantic holiday themed film centered entirely on love?” she asked from right behind him.

“Yes, okay? It’s one of his favourites.”

“God, you two are perfect for each other. Just fuck already.” When Harry squawked in protest and slammed his bedroom door in her face she yelled, “I know you want to!” through the door.

Harry refused to dignify her with a response. She was completely wrong. Harry didn’t want to fuck Louis, he just wanted his friend back.

Harry turned off his light and made sure his alarm was set so he would be up in time for them to leave. He settled into his blankets and closed his eyes. 

He really didn’t want Louis like that. Not at all. Gemma had no idea what she was talking about.

As Harry began to doze back off to sleep, Louis’ clear blue eyes and incredible cheekbones flashed across his mind.

Fine. Maybe Gemma was kind of right, but Harry would never tell her that out loud.

 

*~~***~~*

 

Harry’s alarm blared and he blearily turned it off. He’d thought it would be a good idea to wake up early and get a run in before they left for Cheshire, but now he was regretting it. Harry also knew there was no way he would be able to get back to sleep now, though, so he forced himself up and out of bed.

Once he’d got himself ready for his early morning run, Harry grabbed his phone and was about to start up his music when he saw Louis had just texted.

**_Louis:_ ** _ Sorry I fell asleep on you last night! What a dick! _ __  
**_Louis:_ ** _ I hope you had a good night anyway, and thank you for cheering me up. _ _  
_ **_Louis:_ ** __ Stay safe on your drive today!

Harry smiled, sent a slew of emojis, and then left for his run. 

As his feet hit the pavement and he found a good stride for him for the day, his thoughts began to flow. They started with thinking about the meeting he had with Liam and easily went to Niall and Louis. He ruminated on his hopes for when they could gather together as a group at the bungalow and how soon he might be able to get back home. 

It was only as the sky began to turn a pale purple that Harry realized the run had lasted longer than he ever intended for it to. He felt amazing, though. Like he was clearing some of his thoughts from his head and feeling more centered. Like he was finally making progress.

Harry made his way back up to the flat and was enjoying a second glass of water at a much slower pace than the first when Gemma came in. Harry smiled, but he was still breathing a little heavily as he cooled down and allowed his heart to slow after his run.

She blinked at him in surprise before asking, “How far did you run today?”

Harry shrugged and checked his app he’d downloaded to track his runs. “Uh, something like four miles? It’s not the longest I’ve done since I’ve been here, but I’m sorry it was longer than I was expecting. I’ll go get ready now.”

Gemma’s eyes went wide and she held out her arm to stop him from passing her. 

“You just ran four miles?”

“Yes,” Harry said in surprise. He chuckled a bit awkwardly, but was honestly at a loss for why she was reacting the way she was. He knew this Harry didn’t really work out, based on how little wear and tear the clothing and shoes had, but he’d always liked being fit. It didn’t seem too much of a stretch for him to enjoy running. “Did you think I’d just been doing a slow lap around the block when I went out every day?”

“I…” Gemma blinked and shook her head. “Sometimes you’re just so very much like my Harry that I forget you are different until you do something like this. Anyway, go get ready and we’ll leave once you’re done.”

Harry watched silently as Gemma made her way into the kitchen and prepared herself a tea.

“Do you miss him?” Harry blurted out before he could stop himself. He didn’t even know why he was asking, but now that he had he really needed to hear her answer. “Your Harry, I mean. I know we’re kind of the same person, but...yeah.”

Gemma stared into her mug as her tea steeped and Harry watched numerous thoughts and emotions cross her face, all too quickly for him to decipher what they meant. Once she had thrown away the used tea bag and stirred in her sugar, she began to speak.

“It’s hard to describe how I feel,” Gemma started slowly, but her voice slowly gained speed and confidence as she continued and found the words she’d been searching for. “It’s almost like my emotions are confused, because I’m still worried about my Harry and how he’s coping with the breakup from Jonathan. I worry about whether he will remember the time that you’re here and if he does, what his memories will be like. I worry that we’re changing more than we should while he’s gone. But at the same time, it’s like I have the old Harry back, the Harry that hadn’t been broken by a fool who didn’t know what he had.” Gemma shrugged and looked at Harry. “I miss him and worry about him, but I’m also really loving having you here for a bit too.”

Harry took a few steps forward and wrapped Gemma in a tight hug. 

“You also worry me a little, Harry,” Gemma continued softly, her arms firmly wrapped around his neck. “I feel like you had to age too quickly in that other life, but you do seem happy, so I try to tell myself it’s okay.”

“You always were too protective for your own good,” Harry said with fondness. “I love you, Gems.”

“Love you too.” Gemma allowed Harry to hold her for another few seconds before she hit him on the side of the head and pushed him away from her. “Enough sap. Get your sweaty arse to the shower or I’m leaving without you and telling Mum all your dirty secrets myself.”

Harry laughed and ran from the kitchen before Gemma could make good on her threat.

 

*~~***~~*

 

“Haz, we’re almost there and you’ve barely looked up from your phone the entire drive. Are we going to talk about how to broach the subject with Mum or no?”

Harry guiltily typed a quick goodbye to Louis before putting his phone away and looking at Gemma. She was focused on the road, which was good since she was driving, but she also had a smirk on her face.

“What?” Harry asked. He knew that look. It meant she thought she knew something without him having to tell her.

“So how’s Louis?” she asked, smug.

Harry furrowed his eyebrows. “Fine,” he said slowly. “Why do you ask?”

“Well, it was him you’ve been texting nonstop for the past few hours, right?”

Harry squinted his eyes at her. He knew she was taking this somewhere, but it felt different than just the usual teasing about Louis being his boyfriend. 

“Yes, it was. Why do you ask?”

“What do you two even talk about?” she asked, speaking faster now. It appeared she was done playing coy and just wanted Harry to answer what questions she had. “I mean,  _ hours,  _ Harry. That’s ridiculous. Michal and I don’t even text that much. Doesn’t he have to work? It’s a Thursday morning!”

Harry shifted in his seat, trying to get comfortable. “He is at work. He was telling me a little about what he was up to. As for everything else, we were just talking about…” Harry waved his hands around, trying to find a good way to summarise the dozens of subjects they had discussed just while she was driving. “Stuff.”

“Stuff,” Gemma repeated, flatly.

Harry laughed. “Yeah. How my interview with Niall went yesterday, when I’m meeting with Liam, how his day is going better than the entire week had. Just...stuff.”

Gemma pursed her lips and nodded. “So when are you going to make it official?”

“Gemma,” Harry warned. “We aren’t dating! It isn’t like that with us.”

“Harry,” Gemma said as she signalled to exit the motorway. “I’m asking this because I’m genuinely curious. Is this what you and Louis are like back home?”

Harry shrugged. “Usually. Sometimes worse, actually.”

Gemma’s eyes widened a little. “Worse? How the fuck could you be worse?”

Harry laughed. “We finish each other’s sentences and eat food off of each other’s plates. It’s not a big deal.”

“Jesus,” Gemma mumbled. “And you swear you two aren’t dating? Or fucking? Or anything?”

Harry smirked. “I swear.”

She hummed as she made her way toward their mum’s house. “I’m just warning you, if I don’t believe you, Mum certainly won’t. She’s going to want to meet your boyfriend.”

Harry slouched down in the seat. It made his back start to ache almost immediately, but he wanted to pout for a bit. 

Soon they pulled into the drive of their mum’s house and Harry felt the nerves kick up. It wasn’t like the butterflies he’d felt before seeing Louis or the energy at meeting with Niall again. This was heavier. Nerves laced with a side of guilt. Guilt for lying to his mum before and nerves at what he was going to admit to her eventually. Harry really wasn’t looking forward to this.

“Well,” Gemma said after killing the engine. She turned to face Harry and gave a large, fake smile. “Ready to blow Mum’s mind?”

Harry rolled his eyes. “Not exactly, but I think she’s already shivering on the porch waiting for us to come in, so we might as well go.”

They both looked out the window to see Anne standing on the porch, wide smile brightening her entire face despite the fact her arms had her cardigan pulled tight around her to conserve its warmth. Harry climbed out of the car unwillingly and grabbed his bag from the boot before running to meet her.

“Oh, Harry,” Anne said with a sigh as she squeezed him even tighter than usual. “I’ve been worried about you, love.”

“I’m fine, Mum. Promise.”

Anne pulled back and looked at him with brows raised high. “I’ll judge that for myself. Now you’re looking much too thin, get in and start on the lunch I’ve got ready for you.”

Harry laughed and and gave a cheeky smile. “Yes, Miss.”

As he walked inside, the house gave Harry a jolt of deja vu. The house was almost exactly like the one back home, except it was missing some small touches. Gifts Harry had got her as he travelled, photos of her with Jay and the other Tomlinson-Deakins, some of the awards that the band had won and Harry had sent home to her as a thank you for being so supportive and loving no matter what. It wasn’t a big change, but enough to remind Harry that while this was familiar, it wasn’t quite  _ his _ either.

“Why aren’t you eating yet? What are you looking at?” Anne demanded. 

Harry stared at a photo he didn’t remember being taken of him and Anne in Paris. It was hanging where a photo of him and the boys from The X Factor days hung in his reality. He wasn’t sure why, but that was enough for Harry to start to cry. 

He cried for the fear he felt every day that maybe he wouldn’t make it back. He cried for the life this Harry had missed out on. He cried for his own missed opportunities and confusion on how any of this was happening and the fact that while she looked and acted and smelled like his mum, the woman standing beside him wasn’t  _ really _ the one he needed because she didn’t know everything he had been through. She couldn’t. Not even if he told her in as much detail as he possibly could, because she still wouldn’t have lived through it like his mum back home had.

Harry let this version of his mum, the one who wore her hair slightly shorter and had switched washing powder if his nose wasn’t lying to him, comfort him until he felt like he’d finally released all of the emotion that had been building over the past week he’d been here.

“Harry, darling, please tell me what’s going on,” Anne begged as she gently wiped the tears from his face. 

“It’s kind of a long story,” Gemma answered for Harry. He looked at her gratefully through his puffy eyes and she gave him a sad smile. “Think we can sit down? You might need to.”

 

*~~***~~*

 

Anne stared at Harry. He wasn’t quite sure what he’d expected her to say after everything he’d told her about the life he had lived back home in his own reality, but it was something more than just the calculating look she had in her eyes at the moment.

Harry breathed a sigh of relief when Dusty came walking into the room. She was moving slower than she had last he saw her, but this Dusty was several years older. She was practically elderly in this life.

“Hey, Dusty,” he called for her. She stopped as soon as she heard his voice and her ears immediately flexed forward as if she had sensed a threat. She stared at him as he continued to call for her, and eventually backed out of the room, tail puffy and hissing slightly before bounding off to the back of the house.

Harry pouted and looked at Gemma. “I thought she maybe would be okay with me since I’m not a real stranger. Think she could sense the difference or something?”

“Maybe,” Gemma said thoughtfully. “She’s never acted like that with you before. Very strange.”

Harry turned back to Anne, feeling even more nervous now than he had previously. The cat wasn’t going to help him feel better, so he might as well just get it over with as fast as possible.

“I’m not sure what you want me to say,” Anne finally said. 

Harry waited for her to continue, but that was all she said. Her usually expressive face was fairly blank, only hints of confusion and hurt coming through. 

“Okay,” Harry said softly. “Well, if I’m being honest I’m not exactly sure what I wanted you to say either.”

Gemma laid her hand on his arm. “I started quizzing him about the band when he first told me. I thought he was playing a prank.”

Anne looked at Gemma, finally releasing Harry from her weighty gaze and it felt like he was lighter without it on him. He was incredibly grateful Gemma was willing to be here with him for this. He was still so shocked he didn’t know how he was feeling or how to begin to assess how it had gone so he could try to fix it.

“You believe him?” Anne asked. She looked a little surprised, which hurt Harry more than anything else had so far. 

His mum thought he was purposefully lying to her about something as important as this, after crying on her shoulder. Fuck, she must really think that breakup with the wanker Jonathan had changed him for the worse.

“Yeah,” Gemma said confidently. “I do. Come on, Mum. You saw how happy he was talking about the band and his experiences that obviously didn’t happen here. Ask him about details, things he didn’t offer you but that he wouldn’t be able to make up out of nowhere.”

Anne pursed her lips considering. “The problem with that plan is I would have no way of verifying the information he’d be giving me.”

Gemma rolled her eyes. “Just try, Mum. It’s Harry.”

Anne smiled a little at that and looked at Harry, much happier this time, almost like she had been when they’d first arrived.

“Okay. So who did you get along with least from the band?” 

Harry shifted uncomfortably on the couch. He didn’t like talking about this much. “Uhm. Well, I think that Zayn and I probably had the most disagreements.”

Gemma furrowed her brow. “You haven’t mentioned trying to reach out to him here. Is that why?”

“No,” Harry said honestly. “I would have, I think, but he made his choice and left. He needed to for him, and that’s fine, but if he didn’t want to keep going with us there, then I think he’d want to keep going his own way here.” 

A thought hit him, thinking along those lines, that caused his eyes to widen with panic. He turned to Gemma and gripped her arm. 

“Oh my God, what if I should have reached out to him? I haven’t even checked to see where he is! What if I get everyone together at the bungalow like we did at the beginning and I don’t get back home because I should have invited Zayn?”

Harry’s breath was starting to come out in short bursts and Gemma grabbed his hand in hers. 

“Deep breaths, Harry. Breathe in, and breathe out.” Harry did as she said and felt his heartbeat slow, but only a little. His stomach still felt full of lead.

“Oh God,” Harry said, mind still whirling with possibilities of how he could fix this possible oversight. “Maybe he’s still in Bradford! He’d never left England before the band, so maybe he is still there living with his family? Or maybe Manchester? That’s super close! I could go looking for him before or after my lunch with Liam?”

“Haz, stop.” Gemma’s voice came out commanding and he forced himself to focus on his sister. “Maybe you can start by looking him up online and see what information you can find. Go from there, just like you did with the others, okay?”

That was a good plan. He should have considered that as well. He’d be solidifying dates for the group interview when he met with Liam on Saturday, so that would really be his deadline. If he was able to find Zayn by then, great. If not, then he’d hope that what he had done was enough. Shit, this could potentially be a disaster. What if he never got back simply because he hadn’t considered he should reach out to Zayn as well?

Harry had completely forgotten his mum was still in the room until she sat down on his other side on the couch. He jumped a little in surprise as he felt her warmth, but he still turned to look at her.

Anne studied his face before placing her hands on his cheeks. “You’re serious about all of this, aren’t you?”

Harry nodded. “Yeah. I am.”

Anne leaned her head forward so their foreheads touched and she closed her eyes. 

“How can I help? Is there any way that I can help?”

“I don’t know how I got here and am kind of flying blind as to how to get back,” Harry said softly. “I don’t know what to do myself, so for right now all I could really ask is for you to believe me and do your best to understand.”

“Okay, love.” Anne took a deep breath and pulled back. “Alright, you two. Come and eat. I think all of us deserve a nice sandwich.”

 

*~~***~~*

 

Harry was both relieved and excited that his meal with Liam was going to be at Liam’s house. In some ways it would relieve the stress of being in public when he met up with one of his closest friends from back home, but at the same time there was no one to really deflect to if things got awkward.

As he pulled up to the large house, he whistled. It wasn’t the size of what he had back home, but it was very impressive all the same. He climbed out of the car and headed up to the door to find it already thrown open, a grinning Liam waiting for him.

“Harry, right? So nice to meet you!” Liam came forward with his hand outstretched and pulled Harry into the awkward handshake hug combination that men seemed to be fond of for some reason.

“Yes, hello! So nice to meet you.”

“Come on in, get out of the cold. I can take your jacket for you and then we can get lunch figured out and go from there, if that works for you?”

Liam was his usual self, being incredibly accommodating and welcoming to anyone he considered a friend. Harry wondered if this was how he truly treated everyone in this life or if it was his public facade. Liam always had been the most convincing of any of them when it came to the version he presented to the world.

As they made their way to the kitchen, Harry had to smile because it had the same trademarks of Liam’s favourite kitchen back home. It was sleek and modern, all of the appliances made of stainless steel. It made Harry feel comfortable with Liam in a way that he hadn’t been able to reach with either Niall or Louis, simply because of the setting. Hopefully the bungalow would create that same kind of familiarity and ambiance when they were able to make it there.

“I was thinking just some simple burgers with maybe some steamed broccoli. Would that work for you?”

Harry looked around and saw Liam did in fact have all the makings for homemade burgers. It looked and sounded incredible.

“Yeah, that is perfect,” Harry agreed. “I love your home, Liam. Thank you for inviting me.”

Liam smiled widely, his eyes crinkling until he could barely see them, and Harry felt a pang in his chest. Back home, he hadn’t seen Liam in almost a month. With all the upheaval and uncertainty Harry had felt since he came here, it felt like far longer. Having Liam in front of him, smiling and happy and relaxed in his kitchen, Harry allowed himself to relax and let go of his constant nerves, just for a bit. Liam was Liam, after all. It would be fine.

“I’m glad you reached out! I don’t get a chance to talk about my experiences on The X Factor much anymore. It’s always focused on my work now and getting from meeting to meeting these days.”

Harry held up his phone and caught Liam’s eye. “Do you mind if I record our chat while you’re cooking? I can help as well, if you’d like.”

Liam waved Harry off. “I already took care of the preparations, there’s nothing really left for you to do. Feel free to record any part of today. I’m a pretty open book, these days.”

Harry made himself comfortable at the island so he felt like he was part of the conversation, but not like he was in the way. He hated the interviews they had done where it felt like the band was behind a viewing glass and the interviewer was just there to throw questions at them for a reaction and not actually interact. He was determined to not let these, admittedly somewhat fake, interviews have anything close to that feel.

“You had the chance to be on The X Factor twice, a few years in between. Did you feel that your growth between the two allowed you to have a different experience the second time? Or did they still feel somewhat the same?”

Liam got the burgers cooking on the hob and turned to face Harry. “There was obviously a fair amount of growth between the two, simply due to the age difference. You’re growing and learning so much during those years, it’s hard not to feel like you’re almost a completely different person.”

Liam paused, checked the burgers, and then continued speaking.

“There are obviously parts of it that were the same. The judges were still incredibly critical, the pace was still relentless, the demands being made on you still felt impossible to reach.” Liam shrugged. “I did think I had a chance of really doing it that second time, though. The first, I felt like I could barely keep track of what was happening on any particular day. The second I knew what I was getting into, so yeah. I think my experiences were quite different.”

“That makes sense,” Harry said quietly. Back home, Liam had talked about the differences, but more with regard to how it felt to have the boys surrounding him for support and how much more work it was to try to practice and rehearse with all of them rather than just by himself. Harry hadn’t considered how different it would be as a solo artist both times. “So, do you feel like the second experience was one that still helped you grow and learn? Did it give you experiences that you were able to apply in your life and career now?”

Liam nodded emphatically as he flipped the meat. “Oh, absolutely. Yes. It made me feel like music was definitely the place for me, just maybe not in performing. It gave me even more drive to ensure I would make it and use whatever connections I could to get my own name out there, but on my own terms.” Liam waved at the kitchen surrounding them. “I have this to show for it, at the age of twenty-five. Can’t say that extra drive did anything to hurt me.”

Harry considered trying to get Liam to open up about ways the experience might have been hard or negatively impacted him, but thought saving that for later might be good. It might be something for them to talk about in more depth at the group interview.

The discussion continued easily, a good rapport building between the two of them as quickly as it had when they’d met back home. Harry felt like Liam was still holding back, but that was to be expected. He couldn’t really ask for anything more than what Liam had already given him.

Once the meal was done and Harry’s questions exhausted, Harry pulled up the list of available dates that Niall had provided.

“I never heard back from Julie about the potential group interview dates. Were you able to look at them and see if any of them were possibilities?”

“Oh, God! Yes. I’m sorry about that,” Liam wiped his hands on a tea towel before pulling his phone out of his pocket. “There were two dates on that list that I could work, actually. You said you wanted it to be a bit of a retreat so we wouldn’t have work pressing on us, is that right?”

“Yeah, exactly,” Harry said, his excitement rising as he got to explain it fully for the first time. “I wanted to create a moment that felt removed from all stresses to give us a feeling of relaxation but also no need to rush. I want it to be something that has a bit of the opposite feel of The X Factor, something that will aide with reflection and just enjoying the company of others who have had similar experiences.” Liam watched Harry speak with a small smile on his face, and Harry hoped that was a good sign. “I want it to be a good experience for everyone. I feel like that would get me the best material to use for the article anyway.”

Liam nodded. “Well, I’m sold.” He listed off the two dates Niall had offered that worked for his schedule and Harry made note of them. “I just ask that you let me know as soon as possible which it ends up being, if either, so I can get it squared away with Julie and ensure I don’t get double booked. I’ve got several projects for next year that are starting to ramp up, so my available time is, unfortunately, pretty limited.”

Harry laughed. “Not too unfortunate for you! Make sure you stay in demand, mate.”

Liam gave a self deprecating chuckle and looked down. “Yeah, not doing too bad for myself.”

Harry stood up and placed a hand on Liam’s shoulder. “You’ve done amazing things. You should be proud.”

Liam’s brows furrowed, and he offered a quizzical smile. “Yeah. Thanks.”

Harry realised how strange that sentiment probably felt coming from a near stranger, so he held off on the hug and pulled back. He didn’t want to make Liam uncomfortable, and he did remember how long it took for Liam to be open to the physical affection the rest of the band was so fond of from the beginning.

“Well. I should go.” Harry said, a little awkward after the moment he’d created. “Thank you, again, for having me. I had a great time.”

“Yeah, of course.” Liam’s face brightened again and he led Harry to where he’d hung his coat. “Thank you for being flexible and coming to me. I’ve actually got to head back to the studio for a late night tonight. I just didn’t know when I’d be able to make it to London to see you there.”

“Not a problem,” Harry smiled as he pulled his layers back on for the drive home. 

Harry watched Liam wave happily from his porch and drove away. He was so close to having all of his best friends together again to hopefully send him back home, he could almost taste it. He just hoped this plan was what he needed to get back again.

 

*~~***~~*

 

As soon as Harry was back at his mum’s he ran up to his childhood room. Just like with everything in the house, it was mostly the same as he remembered, except it had obviously been lived in for a few more years than Harry’s. 

Harry shut the door and grabbed his laptop. While he was pulling the interview recording up to sync with the app, he called Louis and put him on speakerphone.

“Hey, Harold. How are you doing on this fine Saturday?”

Harry laughed a little and as soon as he confirmed the sync had started, focused on the phone call. 

“I’m doing alright. How about you?”

“Well, today hasn’t been too bad, but I’m guessing that’s not why you’re calling after radio silence since last night.”

Harry looked at the time and realised it had been almost an entire day since he’d last texted or talked with Louis. That shouldn’t be unusual or strange, but for them at this point it was. Harry was texting Louis so often even while home that Anne had started asking if he was seeing anyone.

“God,” Harry rushed to apologise. “I hadn’t even realised, I’d been so nervous leading up to meeting with Liam. I’m sorry.”

Louis’ laugh rang through the speakers. It wasn’t quite as nice as hearing it in person, but Harry would settle for it this way for now.

“No need to apologise. You’re fine. So, what’s going on?”

“I have two dates for you to choose from that I hope will work for the group interview I mentioned before. Do you have the time to look and see if either is open for you?”

Harry bit his lip. He was excited and nervous and about to shit bricks he was so worried that his plan wouldn’t work. He had to have confidence it would, though. He didn’t really have any other options.

“Yeah, course. Hang on, let me pull up my calendar.” Harry could tell Louis put him on speaker as well because the sounds coming through suddenly had a bit more of a hint to the background noise. “Okay, so what are we looking at?”

Harry explained the options they had, both for the next week as well as for dates in December and waited for Louis to respond. As the sounds of Louis flipping through his calendar continued without him speaking, Harry closed his eyes and prayed Louis could do next week. Harry wasn’t sure he would be able to fake this life, or make Gemma write articles with his name attached, for that long. And wasn’t he supposed to be taking photos as well? Harry had learned a few things about photography, but not to the level that would be required for this kind of work.

Harry’s stomach began to drop as he listened to Louis talking about how busy his schedule got in December. Next week sounded like it might be their only chance, at least until the new year. What if it was too soon and Louis had too much going on?

“Oh,” Louis’ voice suddenly sounded a bit more happy, which only did so much to calm Harry’s nerves. “I’d completely forgotten! I’ve got a few days off next week because it’s an international break. Tuesday and Wednesday should be just fine for me.”

Harry almost cried he was so relieved. He wouldn’t have to wait over a month, or longer, to try to get home. Just a few more days and it would all be okay. He would get back home and start figuring out his plans for himself during the hiatus.

“Shit, really? That’s great.” 

Harry tried to tamp down his emotions and make sure his relief and happiness weren’t overwhelming. He wasn’t sure he would be able to explain to Louis why he had so much riding on this. Come to think of it, he could probably have explained it away with an excuse to do with deadlines, but the fewer lies the better.

“Okay,” Harry said after taking a deep breath. “Let me just square away some details and then I’ll text you to figure some things out, okay?”

“Sure thing! Hey, I-”

Louis’ voice was cut off by a strange buzzing sound. Harry looked down to see if he had another incoming call, but he guessed it was on Louis’ side because suddenly he was cursing and switching the phone off speaker.

“Haz, I’m sorry, but it’s my boss. I’ve gotta go. Have a good rest of the day if we don’t talk. I look forward to the details.”

Louis was already getting into professional mode. Harry could tell by the way his voice was morphing into the emotionless tone and non-regional accent that belied his elocution lessons.

“Of course. Good luck and I’ll talk to you later.”

Harry hung up and immediately ran downstairs. He had to make sure Robin was okay with his using the bungalow for a few days and then get in touch with the others to make sure they were all on the same page. Harry couldn’t mess up anything to do with this and risk the chance of not getting back home.

 

*~~***~~*

 

Harry paced back and forth in his room. 

He hadn’t thought about how he would get to the bungalow himself because in the reality he comes from, Harry doesn’t exactly have a shortage of vehicles to use in order to get where he needs to be. He’d never considered the idea that this Harry wouldn’t own his own car, but here he was.

Harry looked at his phone. It was Monday evening and in less than twenty-four hours he was supposed to be meeting the other lads at the bungalow, hopefully starting the evening that would be the key to unlocking his passage back to where he was from. Instead of worrying about that, he was fucking scared he wouldn’t even make it to the bungalow at all.

Gemma’s car wasn’t a possibility due to her needing it for a few work things she’d had scheduled for over a month. The only other option Harry could think of was Louis.

Harry bit his lip and looked at his phone, sitting innocently on his duvet. Damn phone. It had to know how much Harry had riding on this.

The bigger question really should be why Harry was freaking out so much about asking Louis for a ride. That’s all it was. A way for Harry to get from one location to another, since apparently science hadn’t found a way to create transporters a la Star Trek yet. It didn’t have to be a big deal, it would just be a few hours of them together in a car. He’d done that with his Louis back home so many times he couldn’t count them all. This would absolutely not be any different.

Harry threw himself onto his bed. He should have just had Gemma leave him at their mum’s. That would have been a good idea, but no. He’d wanted to come down to London for one day and now he was stuck here.

Sighing, Harry picked up his offending device and opened to Louis’ contact. Again. He’d got this far several times already, but hadn’t got the guts to hit the call button. Now was the time. It must be done. Harry was a world famous singer who had performed in front of hundreds of thousands of screaming fans; a phone call to Louis Tomlinson should be no problem.

“He’s your best friend, for Christ’s sake,” Harry mumbled to himself as he finally hit  _ call. _

“Hey, Harry,” Louis greeted, sounding chipper but a little out of breath. “Ready for tomorrow?”

Harry immediately smiled and his shoulders dropped from the hunched up position they had been stuck in over the past twenty minutes, all because he heard Louis’ voice. Harry maybe had a bit of a problem and was entirely too dependent upon his best friend.

“Kind of,” he replied with a pause. “Did I interrupt something? You’re breathing kind of heavy.”

“No!” Louis almost shouted into the phone. “Not at all. Just watching a film with a friend is all.” A loud laugh and some whistles came through the line from the background before Louis whispered a terse, “Fuck off!” 

“Okaaaay,” Harry said with a small chuckle. “Fine, don’t tell me. Anyway, I was actually calling about tomorrow because I need to ask you a favour.” Harry paused and when Louis didn’t really respond, Harry got nervous all over again. “I mean, of course you don’t need to feel obligated or anything, because what I’m asking of you is kind of a big deal and all, but I was hoping since we’re both-”

“Harry,” Louis interrupted, smile evident in his voice and breathing back under control. “Spit it out, love.”

Harry sighed. “I remembered you saying you were going to be spending most of the week in London with some friends you don’t get to see often, is that right?”

“Yeah, Stan lives in London so that’s where I am now. Why do you ask?”

Harry’s heart leapt at the mention of Louis’ good friend from back home, but he forced himself to focus on the point of the phone call. He could ask after Stan tomorrow.

“Well, the car I thought I’d be able to use to get up there is actually no longer available, so I was kind of hoping to be able to ride with you, if it isn’t too much trouble?” Harry bit his index finger and waited for Louis to answer.

“Oh, yeah. Course! That’s not a problem at all. What time do you want to leave?”

Harry let out a sigh of relief. “Oh my God, thank you. Seriously, thank you  _ so much _ for being willing to help. I was kind of hoping to leave around noon so I could make sure the place is in good shape and get some food stocked, but I’m flexible if that doesn’t work for you.”

Harry tried not to listen to what Louis was whispering with Stan until Louis came back and was obviously addressing Harry again. 

“I think that should work,” Louis said slowly. “We have some plans for the morning, so it might be a bit past noon, but I should be able to still get you up there in plenty of time, yeah.”

“No problem at all! Really, anytime before three should work just fine,” Harry said as quickly as he could. The fact Louis was willing at all was more than Harry had hoped for. “I can text you my address and then you can just let me know whenever you’re on your way. Does that work?”

“Oh, yeah. Definitely.” Louis’ voice was a bit strained and then Harry heard a muffled  _ oomph _ followed by some static that indicated Louis and Stan were having a bit of a scuffle. Harry figured that was a sign that it was time to go.

“Thanks again, Lou. I’ll go ahead and text you my address.”

“Sure, Haz,” Louis said, panting again just like at the beginning of the call. A distant “See you!” was heard before the line went dead. Harry was confused, but relieved. 

He had a way to get to the bungalow. If all went as planned, he would be back home within the next couple of days. Of course, the plan was based on nothing more than hope and conjecture, but Harry pushed that to the side for now. He didn’t have another plan, so he could do nothing more than pray this one worked.

 


	5. Chapter 5

*~~***~~*

 

“Harry?”

Harry looked up from his phone where he was nervously playing a game of Bejeweled. It wasn’t really calming his anxiety, but it was giving him something to do to distract his hands and mind a little. Gemma was standing there, looking unsure of herself.

“Yeah?” Harry sat up straighter and locked his phone. He didn’t like seeing Gemma like this. She was always the assured older sister, so the rare occasions she wasn’t made him worry.

Gemma licked her lips and sat down beside him. “I just wanted to, like, say goodbye?” She rolled her eyes at herself. “I mean, if this works, I’ll have my Harry back, but won’t have a chance to see you, you know?”

Harry hadn’t considered that. He smiled at her and pulled her in for a hug. 

“You’re a bloody good sister, you know that?” Tears prickled Harry’s eyes a bit as he settled into her warmth. When he made it back home, he needed to make sure he prioritised his family a little more. He missed being able to hug Gemma like this on a regular basis.

“Damn right, I am,” she teased, voice thick with unshed tears. “We should come up with a code or something, though. So I know which Harry is coming back after all of this.”

Harry froze. “You’re right. Otherwise it could be quite confusing for you.”

Gemma pulled back and dabbed at the corner of her eyeliner. “Yeah. I need to know which one I’ve got so I know how to handle either your disappointment or potentially my Harry’s confusion at what’s happened the past week or two.”

Harry nodded. “Uhm. What if you ask something about One Direction?” Harry laughed a little at their dramatics. “Or I could just say it’s me and not your Harry. That would be easy enough as well. If he doesn’t say anything, you’ll know you’ve got your Harry back.”

Gemma nodded, rolling her eyes. “Yeah. That’ll work.”

It was right then that a buzz sounded. 

Gemma smirked as she looked at Harry. “Your chariot awaits, as does your prince.”

“Shut up,” Harry admonished as he stood up to let Louis in. Harry didn’t have much to carry, but this was his last chance to be with this Gemma if he did end up going back to his universe. She’d done a lot for him, and deserved more than a half-arsed goodbye. 

Harry walked back and wrapped her in another big hug. “Thank you. For everything.”

Gemma hummed. “So does this mean I get to meet the boyfriend?”

A knock sounded at the door right then and Harry pulled back from Gemma as fast as he could. 

“Don’t you dare say that kind of shit with him here,” Harry demanded as he went to get the door. When he opened it, his heart lodged itself in his throat, effectively cutting off his airways.

If he thought Louis all done up in a suit with glasses and his hair perfectly styled was dangerous, he’d not considered Louis in casual shorts and an oversized jumper. It was definitely an outfit his Louis would wear back home, but it had been so long since he’d seen him in anything other than skin tight jeans or joggers that Harry wasn’t accustomed to having to ignore his gorgeous bare legs.

“Isn’t it a bit cold for shorts?” was what came out of Harry’s mouth, because of course it was.

Louis just laughed as he stepped inside. “Yeah, but I always get hot if I wear too many layers while driving long distances, so this is how I combat that.” 

Harry wasn’t going to complain. He was just going to have to rein in these feelings he’d thought were safely tucked away and forgotten so he could continue to function as a rational adult.

“Makes sense,” he finally said with a smile. “Let me gather my things and then we can go.”

“Excuse you.” Gemma came around the corner, sass flying. “Don’t forget about introducing him to me.”

Harry rolled his eyes and smiled at Louis. “Gem, this is Louis. Louis, this is my sister Gemma.”

“Nice to finally meet you,” she said, reaching out a hand. Based on the grimace that Louis made quickly before hiding it behind a polite smile, her grip was tighter than necessary.

“Same.”

“Yeah, alright. Don’t hurt him, Gem. God.” Harry went and grabbed his bags before turning around so Louis wouldn’t be subject to Gemma’s curiosity. Harry had no idea where that would lead them, and he wasn’t sure he wanted to see. “That’s it! Let’s go.”

Harry followed Louis out to his car and got settled. 

“I’ve just got the SatNav set to the address you gave for the bungalow. If you want to stop by shops closer to it, you’ll need to navigate once we get to that point,” Louis said.

Harry nodded. “That’s fine with me. So what soundtrack do you have chosen for us?”

The drive itself felt far shorter than it actually was. Hours felt like nothing more than a quick lunch with a friend. Sometimes, Harry even found himself forgetting that he wasn’t back home with his Louis. Everything felt so relaxed, that he couldn’t help it. Louis had always been his person, the one who understood him from the inside out, and this Louis was no different.

They stopped by the nearest Tesco to grab some essentials and then got to the bungalow a couple hours before Liam and Niall were expected to join them. They’d need the time to dust the place a bit, since it hadn’t got much use lately.

“Go ahead and choose a room upstairs and by then hopefully I’ll have a battle plan,” Harry said once they were inside. “Thanks again for helping so much.”

Louis smiled at Harry before carrying his bags up to the bedrooms and Harry focused on the food. The kitchen was a must, as was the sitting room, and then the bedrooms. The dining area and bathrooms could be taken care of later, if they ran out of time. 

“Hey, Haz?” The use of the nickname made a jolt of excitement zip up Harry’s spine. He’d heard Gemma use it, but not Louis yet, and he’d missed it more than he wanted to admit. “There’s only three bedrooms. Aren’t there four of us?”

“Yeah,” Harry said once he’d got the last of the bags folded and put in the cupboard. “I was planning to take the couch.” 

Harry turned and his stomach swooped a bit seeing Louis standing in the kitchen again. It had been a long time since he and the lads had made it back to the bungalow. They’d been too busy to really do so, days off becoming more and more coveted for family time, but they did still try. Even if they were only able to make it back every year or so, they wanted to be sure they always remembered where they got started and where they came from. Seeing Louis as a full fledged adult standing where his eighteen-year-old self had in another lifetime was jarring, and made Harry feel even more homesick, but it wasn’t altogether unpleasant. Louis was still Louis, after all.

“The couch?” Louis said, brows furrowed in thought. “Harry, no. That doesn’t seem fair at all.”

Harry arched his brow and grabbed the dusters, tossing one at Louis. “I’m not afraid to make you clean around here and obviously am not above asking you for a ride, but having one of you, who are already helping me out by being a part of this, sleep on the couch? That’s too much. I’ll sleep there and it’ll be fine.”

“Fine, you stubborn arse,” Louis said, whipping the cloth out to snap at Harry’s hip. “The battle isn’t over, but I’ll concede for now.”

Harry hummed happily before dividing up the rooms for them to get started on. As Harry continued dusting and cleaning, his eyes began to itch and water more and more, not to mention his near constant sneezes.

“Harry, are you sick?” Louis called from where he was dusting upstairs. “You didn’t sound it on the way over.”

Harry cleared his throat and sneezed once more. He’d have to make sure they had enough tissues as well or he’d be making another run to the shops. 

“Not sick, just allergies,” Harry croaked. “I’m quite allergic to dust.”

Harry heard Louis squawk and then come down the steps. “Why didn’t you tell me? Harry, I should finish one of the rooms upstairs and let you hide away while I finish the rest!”

“No,” Harry said, emphatically. “I’m not having you clean up when it’s my family’s house and I’m the reason we’re here. Besides, I’m not sure we’ll have it done with both of us working. There’s no way I’m letting you try it alone.”

Louis squinted at Harry before holding his hand out. “Unlock your phone and hand it here, please.”

Harry rubbed at his eyes a little more with the back of his hand before studying Louis’ face. “Why would I do that?”

Louis huffed and wiggled his fingers. “Don’t make me dig it out of your pocket myself. Come on. I’m assuming you don’t have any allergy medicine on you, so we need one of the others to bring it for you. You have their numbers, yeah?”

Harry pouted and pulled his phone out, unlocking it quickly before handing it over to Louis. 

“It’s Liam Payne and Niall Horan that are joining us, by the way.”

Louis’ head snapped up when he heard the names. “Liam Payne, like the producer? And Niall Horan, like the loud, happy go lucky Irishman that supports that shitty tiny team… God, what was it?”

“Derby County? Yeah, but don’t let him hear you say that. He’s worse about them than you are about the Rovers. And yes, that Liam Payne.”

“Well shit,” Louis whispered. His gaze was on the wall for a minute before he physically shook himself and looked at Harry again. “I’m definitely calling Niall. I met him just a few months ago because of a charity football match.”

Harry smiled. “Really? I didn’t know that. That’s great.”

Harry found it amusing that Louis and Niall would have found a way to meet in this life. Because of course they had. Harry wondered if they’d connected enough to keep in touch at all or if this was going to be the first time they’d spent much time actually in each other’s company and not just circling each other in a room.

Harry sneezed and got back to work.

“Niall?” Louis suddenly said from the kitchen. 

Harry could tell he was using his professional voice for the call, and for some reason Harry found that hysterical. It made sense here, if they’d only met outside of the X Factor for that charity match, but still. It was  _ Louis _ talking on the phone to  _ Niall _ of all people. A professional tone wasn’t what Harry expected.

“Yeah, sorry. This is Louis Tomlinson, I’m also going to be part of the group interview and I’m just using Harry’s phone because I didn’t want your number without your permission.” Louis paused and Harry couldn’t help listening it. It wasn’t  _ really _ eavesdropping if he was in the same space as Louis and Louis was using his phone, right? “Shit, I can’t believe you remember that! Yeah, that’s me. One and the same.”

Louis was already laughing and Harry found himself slowly skirting the edges of the room, vacantly rubbing at the flat surfaces while he made his way slowly towards the kitchen to hear better. 

“Yeah, actually, I was hoping you wouldn’t mind grabbing some Benadryl or summat for our dear Harold. He’s got allergy issues with the dust here and didn’t think to bring any.”

“Not Benadryl, please!” Harry said, giving up on the acting nonchalant to join Louis. “That knocks me out for far too long. Something non-drowsy.”

Louis gave Harry a soft smile. “Course. Did you hear that, Niall? Something non-drowsy. Not Benadryl. Yeah. Thanks so much. We’ll see you soon.” Louis rang off and handed Harry his phone back. “See? He doesn’t mind a bit.”

Harry tried rolling his eyes, but it didn’t work well when it just caused a tear to actually roll down his cheek and his nose to start running in earnest.

“Oh, poor love,” Louis said in the soft tone he usually saved for his siblings. Well, his siblings and Harry. Louis often treated Harry a bit like a child he was caring for whenever he was under the weather back home. Harry couldn’t bring himself to complain. There was something about Louis that made him always want his attention and approval, and apparently this Louis was the same. “I know you aren’t sick, but it looks like you are and I feel awful. Want to cuddle you in blankets and make you broth.”

Harry blushed a little. “Stop,” he whined. He couldn’t quite hold back a smile, though, and he knew Louis could see right past his complaint. “I just want to feel like a human and finish getting this place cleaned. Back to work?”

“Fine, but I’ll have you know that I’m only thoroughly cleaning one room and that will be the one you sleep in. The rest of this place can deal with a cursory wipe down.”

“Fair,” Harry said before he sneezed again. “Should text Niall asking for more tissues as well.”

“Do it now!” Louis called over his shoulder. “You’ll regret it if you don’t.”

Harry agreed and quickly sent the message before getting back to work.

 

*~~***~~*

 

“Thank God you’re here, he’s getting puffy.”

Harry pouted as he finished wiping down the last of the bathrooms, thus ending the dusting extravaganza. As he looked in the mirror, though, he had to admit that Louis was right. He was going all puffy. Allergies could go fuck themselves.

“Harry! Where are you, lad?” Niall’s voice rang out through the small building and Harry smiled. Niall sounded to be in much better spirits than he was last interview, when he’d been quiet and a little unsure. That was nowhere to be found as he yelled, “Your saviour has arrived!”

Harry rolled his eyes. “Coming,” he croaked. 

Two hours of cleaning and the dust had definitely taken its toll on him. They might not be able to do the interview until the morning, if the medicine didn’t do what it needed to. If that was the case, then Harry had to hope Other Harry would be finishing what he started. 

Harry sighed. There were a lot of assumptions being made, just in that single thought. Harry did hope that should he make it home, that Other Harry would wake up here with the men that Harry had assembled and would know what the end goal was. If Other Harry came to replace Harry at the bungalow with no memory of the past several weeks, it could be very awkward for everyone. 

Harry took a deep breath through his mouth, since his nose was completely stuffed now, and threw the dirty rag he’d been cleaning with into the laundry basket Anne kept in the upstairs hall. Right as he reached the bottom step, he heard a knock on the door and knew Liam had arrived. 

“I’ve got it,” Harry called so Niall or Louis wouldn’t make their way over. He opened the door and when Liam looked up at Harry, he visibly blanched. 

“Shit, man. Are you feeling alright?” Then his look of concern for Harry morphed a little. “Are you contagious?”

Harry chuckled, but without humour. “It’s allergies. The dust attacked me, but it should be clean for you now. Niall brought me medicine.”

Liam nodded a bit warily, but stepped inside all the same. 

Harry was about to let Liam get away with it, but decided to tack on a cheeky, “Glad you think I look like shit.”

Liam’s eyes widened and he immediately began to stumble over himself. “No! No, that’s not what I meant. It’s just, your eyes are red and kind of swollen and I just...I assumed…”

Harry choked out a snort, which was really a bad idea. Once he’d waved away Liam’s concern, he said, “It’s fine, Li. I’m joking. Go ahead and pick a room upstairs. Louis already claimed one, but Niall hasn’t made his way up yet. Come on down whenever you’re ready.”

Liam offered an embarrassed smile and said a quiet thank you before he made his way up the stairs. Harry watched him go before he joined Louis and Niall where they were already making a ruckus in the kitchen.

“Harry! I made you tea,” Louis proclaimed, holding a steaming mug. “Well, mostly. I made it how I like my tea, but I couldn’t remember if that’s how you like yours or not?”

Niall just held out the box of medicine with a smirk on his face. “Your boyfriend is worried. You better drink up, whether you like the tea or not, or he’ll be a nervous wreck.”

“Uhm, we’re not-” Harry started, but he got distracted by Louis’ jaw dropping. 

Louis then smacked Niall on the shoulder and said, “Fuck off, wanker!”

Niall just raised his eyebrows as if he knew better, and left the room. “I’m taking my shit upstairs and getting settled. Maybe introducing myself to Liam, since I’m not wanted here.”

Once the stairs began to creak indicating Niall’s ascent to the bedrooms, Louis turned to Harry and finally handed over the tea.

“Sorry about that,” he said, a light blush dusting his cheeks. Louis didn’t blush easily, so Harry was intrigued as to the cause. Could it have been something as small as Niall teasing and saying they’re dating? “I swear, I didn’t say anything to make him think we are dating.”

Harry shrugged and took a sip of the tea before choking down the horse pills that were supposed to help. He prayed they would. The not breathing thing was getting old fast. The tea was perfect, or what he could taste of it was, just like he knew it would be. 

“That’s just Niall,” Harry said with a laugh. “He jumps to conclusions like that.”

Louis gave Harry a confused look. “I didn’t realise you knew Niall so well. I had just assumed you’d only met him the once.”

“Oh, well I mean,” Harry began to mentally kick himself. He had to think fast to come up with an excuse now. Speaking slowly, Harry said, “I have, but we chatted a little as well, and I’m a pretty good judge of people and…yeah.” 

Harry shot Louis what he hoped came off as a smile instead of a grimace and looked at the time. Harry’s mouth dropped open and he checked his phone to be sure it was correct. He’d wanted to be started on the fajitas by this point. Thankfully, their schedule was flexible and it didn’t really matter when they ate, so Harry took a deep breath to relax himself.

“Hey, can you help me prep the food a bit?” Harry asked as he set down the tea and began to pull out the chicken from the fridge. “I’ll just have you help slice the peppers and onion, if that’s alright?”

Harry and Louis worked side by side, chatting easily as they got the food prepared and started cooking everything up. Luckily, the medicine had done the trick and hadn’t left Harry feeling drowsy, so soon he had even forgotten his allergies had been an issue at all. 

When Louis had finished slicing the vegetables, he started pulling out the other food items from the fridge and got the table set as if he was already comfortable in the space. Harry’s chest warmed at the idea of Louis fitting himself into Harry’s life in this universe as easily as he had back home. When Liam and Niall came into the kitchen, chatting amicably, the food was almost ready and only the drinks needed to be brought out.

“That smells amazing, Harry,” Liam commented as he came around the corner and took in the scene before him. “Tacos?”

“Fajitas,” Harry corrected. “It’s a family favourite.”

“Fucking love Mexican food,” Niall commented. “Did you get some of that crumbly white cheese they always have? I don’t know what it’s called, just that I could eat an entire package of it myself.”

“No, it’s hard to find that around here, sorry,” Harry apologised. 

Niall waved him off. “Sure it’s amazing even without the cheese of the gods.”

Conversation flowed easily after that, just as Harry had hoped it would. With all of them being older and more settled in themselves, as well as not having their dreams on the line, they were able to relax quickly and enjoy each other in a way that seemed even more natural than it had back home. 

Once the remains of the meal had been put away, Liam asked, “So, do you want to do the interview tonight? How do you want this to work exactly?”

Harry rubbed his hands together. “Well, I was thinking we could just hang out and chat tonight and I’ll record the entire thing. Just talk about our experiences, pick each other’s brains about our memories, our thoughts on how things turned out and what we would or wouldn’t change about all of it. That kind of thing, and then we could do something a little more formal in the morning after breakfast before we head out.”

Niall nodded. “Sure thing.”

Harry looked over at Louis who just offered a thumbs up as he continued to drink his beer and Liam nodded as well.

“Okay, well. There’s more comfortable seating in the other room, so let’s get settled and then we can start to chat.”

Harry was going to settle on the floor so the others could sit comfortably on the loveseat and chair, but Niall and Louis both made room so Harry could join them on the sofa.

“Come on, Haz,” Louis said with a smile as Niall patted the space between them. “Squeezing on the sofa is better than you sitting on the floor.”

Harry shook his head and sat down. The three of them were in tight quarters, considering they were three grown men, but Louis quickly adjusted and threw his legs over Niall and Harry’s. It was so similar to what would happen back home, it made Harry tear up a little. 

He was so close to getting home. Just a few more hours, hopefully, and then when he woke up he’d be back with his boys. The ones who actually remember their shared history, rather than these almost exactly the same copies that were so close and yet very much  _ not _ who Harry really wanted and needed. 

Harry pushed away the near constant fear that his plan wouldn’t work, set his phone down, app recording, and leaned back. “Alright, lads. Let’s chat. What did you  _ think _ your experience at the X Factor would be like?”

“Nothing like it actually was, that’s for sure,” Niall quipped and the rest laughed. “I was so positive that I knew exactly what I was in for, but I didn’t have a fucking clue.”

That was enough to set all of them at ease and start recounting what they thought would happen versus what actually did, their memories, the good experiences and the hurtful ones. Harry joined in occasionally, but for the most part kept quiet. He didn’t want to say something that was more true to his experience back home rather than the one this Harry had, so instead he listened and tried not to feel sad for his friends in this life. 

Yes, they had all done incredible things and made the best of a shitty situation dealt to them, but Harry couldn’t help getting lost in what had happened in his reality. How amazing it was that they were thrown together and found a family in each other, all while having their wildest dreams come true.

Harry watched the men around him bond, laugh, and share stories, and he began to feel more detached. How strange that the very people he desired most to be with, once found and gathered, didn’t help him feel any better. It wasn’t their fault, but if anything, they made him feel worse. 

This wasn’t Harry’s home. This wasn’t how his life turned out. It wasn’t a bad life, and he was sure that this Harry could be quite happy with how things had turned out once he had healed from this fucker of an ex, but it wasn’t  _ his. _ His life had its own difficulties and frustrations and hurdles and he was ready to have them back. Harry was ready to deal with the problems he felt more equipped to deal with than these.

“H, you okay?” Louis gently prodded Harry’s shoulder. Harry blinked out of his fog, and realised Niall and Liam were watching him as well. “You zoned out on us there, mate.”

Harry gave a smile and yawned a little, playing it off as being tired. “Yeah, I’m fine. Think the allergies are finally catching up to me, though. Is it okay if we continue this tomorrow?”

“Of course,” Liam said, standing. “This was really nice, Harry. I didn’t realise how much I would like talking about my experiences with others who had been through the same thing.”

Harry smiled and tried not to tear up as Niall gave him a tight side hug. “I’m glad. I hope you sleep well.”

Niall and Liam headed up, but Louis held back until they heard Liam and Niall’s bedroom doors close.

“You aren’t sleeping on the couch tonight, Harry. You need and deserve a good night’s rest, and that won’t happen on this tiny thing.”

Harry rolled his eyes. “Well, I’m not letting you sleep here, so I guess you either let me do as I planned or we’re sharing the bed upstairs.”

“Okay. Guess we’re sharing, then.”

Harry’s mouth dropped open. He and Louis had shared beds for years back home. It was part of traveling and sharing hotel rooms and small spaces. He hadn’t been prepared for this Louis to so willingly agree to the same set up, though.

“Wait, what?” Harry asked, shaking his head. 

“I claimed the room with the queen sized bed for a reason, Harry.” Louis arched his brow and gave a smirk. “I thought you might put up a fight. Come on. There’s plenty of room for the both of us and if you don’t mind, then I don’t. We’re friends, after all.”

Harry felt butterflies start up in his belly. Harry didn’t have a good reason to deny Louis’ offer, and they would just be platonically sharing the bed like they had hundreds of times back home. It would be fine. He rubbed his stomach and tried to get the nerves to calm down. It was just Louis. What did Harry think was going to happen, anyway?

“Okay,” Harry agreed with a small smile. “Thanks, Lou.”

Louis blushed a little and nodded to the stairs. “Come on. I’ll help you carry your bags.”

Harry followed Louis upstairs and into the room his mum and Robin always stayed in. It was approximately the same small size as the other two, the only difference was this one had a larger bed and wardrobe.

“Does it matter what side you sleep on?” Harry asked, not knowing which side of the room he should move to. His Louis preferred the left side of the bed, but what if this Louis was different? Harry didn’t know when that preference was made, or if it was one that formed from their sharing a bed together in hotels that solidified it.

“I do better on the left side,” Louis said awkwardly before he paused and furrowed his brow. Harry couldn’t help but smile a little at the fact that Louis was obviously as nervous about this as he was and was just trying to hide it. “Or, well, the right when you’re looking at it like we are now. If that’s okay?”

“Yeah, I do better on the other side, so that’s perfect.” They gave awkward smiles and shuffled the things to where they both could maneuvre easily about the space.

Harry quickly and easily stripped down to his pants and started to pull on the joggers he’d packed to sleep in, but paused when he heard Louis squeak a little and then cough. Harry stopped, bent over with the sweatpants halfway up his legs, and looked over at Louis.

Louis’ eyes were wide and his mouth hung open as he took in Harry’s mostly naked form.

Shit. He’d forgotten for a second that this wasn’t normal for this Harry and Louis, and then Harry also remembered this version of his body was pasty white and still a little lumpy where he was used to being lean. Was Louis freaking out because he was suddenly confronted with Harry’s body and he was no longer attracted to him? He didn’t think it was that bad, but he didn’t know what Louis was used to looking at either.

“Sorry,” Harry began to say as he whipped his joggers the rest of the way up and bit his lip. “This was all I packed to sleep in. I could always keep my shirt on, if you’re more comfortable…”

Louis blinked a few times and visibly swallowed before shaking his head fervently. “No,” he said, his voice cracking a little. He coughed and looked away, a blush high on his cheeks. “No, that’s fine. I just wasn’t expecting...I should have...it doesn’t matter. It’s fine. Sorry for staring.”

Harry could feel a heat rising to his cheeks from the embarrassment of the situation as well. “It’s okay. Sorry for the shocking view.”

Louis laughed, sounding a little hysterical, before mumbling, “It’s a great view,” so quietly Harry wasn’t sure he heard him correctly.

“I’m just gonna…” Harry waved his toothbrush and toothpaste towards the bathroom and Louis nodded quickly in acknowledgement, still avoiding Harry’s eyes.

This was going to go well. At least he hopefully wouldn’t have to worry about the morning after. He was thoroughly planning to wake up back in his LA house, completely alone.

Harry brushed his teeth and rinsed his face before staring at himself hard in the mirror. He had this feeling boiling in his stomach and he wasn’t sure if it was nervousness about getting home, excitement about finally getting to do so, or if it was completely unrelated to that and more to do with sharing a bed with Louis.

It felt more like the latter, but that was ridiculous. Why would he be nervous  _ or _ excited about sleeping in the same bed as Louis? A little voice in the back of Harry’s head whispered it was because he was attracted to him, but just as he always did, Harry pushed that voice away and ignored it. Louis was his best friend. It meant nothing to share a bed with him for one night, especially if he wouldn’t wake up here anyway.

Harry took a deep breath, stood up straight, and nodded at himself with resolve. Louis wasn’t the reason he felt like this at all. It was only because he was excited to get home and nervous this wouldn’t work. 

But of course it would work. It had felt incredibly right to have his friends all together in the same space tonight, so this was obviously his purpose here.  Besides, nothing else made sense for how to get him back. Unless he really had no control over how to get back to his real life, this had to be what would help him get home.

As Harry returned to the room, he passed by Niall in the room Gemma used to sleep in. Niall let out a loud whistle and called for them to “Keep it down, you filthy animals!” Harry just offered his middle finger in salute and escaped inside the room. Maybe this Niall was just as much of a menace as the one Harry knew back home.

Once Harry had closed the door behind him, he had to focus to not choke on his tongue. Louis was sitting on the bed in nothing but his pants, nervously picking at the duvet, and he looked incredible. 

He was somehow still lightly tanned despite it being late November and his body looked well toned. Harry tried to push away the arousal he felt swirling through him at so much of Louis’ skin, beautiful but lacking the tattoos that Harry knew so well from his Louis. He really should say something, but what?

“I, uhm, usually just sleep in my pants so I kind of forgot to pack night clothes.” Louis grimaced. “I was planning on wearing the same shorts tomorrow, because I’m a lazy shit, so I can always throw those on if you want, but I wasn’t keen on wearing them for something like thirty-six hours straight.”

“Yeah, that’s fine,” Harry said, his voice sounding lower than usual. He flushed in embarrassment, but Louis gave a smile and seemed to relax a little. 

As Louis shifted about to get positioned under the blankets, Harry couldn’t help but admire his thighs, how they looked so lovely and thick and muscular. That then led to Harry basking in how Louis’ abdomen wasn’t overly defined, but that it definitely had the ridges that indicated regular physical activity. And the way his biceps tightened was almost his downfall. 

Harry looked away and tried to focus on something else, anything else really, because he was openly ogling his best friend. His platonic mate! That was not okay. Especially when they were sharing a bed for the most innocent of reasons. He couldn’t get hard thinking about Louis like that, especially right now of all times. That was a recipe for disaster.

Harry pulled out his phone charger and plugged it in so his phone was within reach, and then climbed into the bed. It was already showing signs of warmth, thanks to Louis sitting on top of the covers before climbing in himself.

“Oh shit, I got distracted and forgot I need to get ready for bed myself.” Louis climbed out of the bed and bent over to get his things out of his bag, causing Harry’s heart to start to race a little at the sight of his arse. God, that was definitely exactly how Harry remembered it, even if he wasn’t used to it affecting him this way. “Think the lads will mind if I walk about in my pants?”

Harry forced his eyes to raise from Louis’ bum and look him in the eyes when he turned around. 

“No, I think that should be fine,” Harry croaked out. Louis offered a smile and then quietly left the room.

Harry groaned as he clenched his eyes shut and put his face into the pillow, hopefully covering the noise enough so none of the others heard it. Louis was going to kill him before he even made it home.

Why was this happening now? Why, after years of being best friends with no second thoughts of the chemistry they felt when they first met, is Harry suddenly reacting so strongly to him again? Shit. Just a few more hours at the most. That was all he had to deal with. Then he would be back home and things would be back to normal.

Harry curled up on his side, his back to Louis’ side of the bed, and closed his eyes. Maybe if he fell asleep before Louis returned, Harry wouldn’t have to worry about it at all because next thing he’d know he would be back home.

Harry’s thoughts already turned fuzzy after all of the activity and anxiety of the day, and he barely heard Louis open the door to the bedroom and climb back into bed before he succumbed to his dreams.

 

*~~***~~*

 

Harry kept his eyes closed as he took in a deep breath and began to dispel the fog of sleep. The room was warm, warmer than usual for an early morning in May in LA. It also wasn’t as bright as Harry had been expecting. Maybe some clouds had come in overnight for a rare day without sunshine.

It was then Harry recognised that there was someone breathing on his neck. That same person also had their arms wrapped around his middle and was curled up behind him. 

Harry’s heart began to race. Had the time Harry had spent in the other reality also passed in his real life? Had he gone out to a club and picked up a random person? He never did that, but without his consciousness being in this body, who knew what had happened.

Shit. This could be very bad.

Harry eased his eyes open, ready to assess the situation and figure out the best way to deal with this person in his bed. As soon as he took in his surroundings, though, Harry’s heart sank.

He wasn’t home. He wasn’t in LA. He wasn’t in 2015. He was still at the bungalow with three men who kind of knew him, but not really, in 2018. The room was overwarm because the radiator was set too high and Louis really was clinging to Harry’s back.

Harry wanted to cry. It hadn’t worked. It hadn’t been enough to send him back home. Maybe it was because he should have had Zayn here, or maybe Harry had no control over switching between the realities at all. He’d known the entire time there was a big chance none of this would work, but he hadn’t allowed himself to dwell on it. Now that it hadn’t, though, Harry had to consider the idea that maybe he was stuck here forever.

It was then that Harry realised his pillow was wet because he had actually begun to cry. God, he had to pull himself together. Not only did he have his best friend plastered to his back and completely unaware of the inner turmoil Harry was going through, but now he was going to have to do the more formal portion of the interview and then ride home with Louis. Alone in a car. For hours. All while he pretended everything was okay when it was anything but.

Harry covered his eyes with his hands. God, what a mess. His mind was whirling through five million possibilities and consequences and thoughts at once, but for some reason there was one it latched onto above all the others.  _ I’m glad I made actual documentation and took notes like Gemma showed since apparently I will be writing this article after all. _

That was enough to make Harry chuckle and that was what finally woke Louis up. 

His arm tightened around Harry’s waist, and Harry tried to ignore the way his tummy flipped in excitement, but then Louis froze.

“Morning, Lou,” Harry croaked. 

“Oh shit,” Louis groaned as he pulled back from Harry and back onto his own side of the bed. “I’m so sorry. I should have warned you that might happen. I’m  _ so _ sorry.”

Harry laughed again and rolled over, to see Louis was bright red, but looking at Harry with curiosity lighting his eyes.

“Why are you laughing?” he finally asked when Harry wasn’t offering any explanation.

Harry laughed harder, giving into the hysterics that, at this point, seemed to be the only way his body could express any of the conflicting and confusing emotions within him.

“I just,” Harry shook his head to clear his thoughts. Finally calming his laughter, he said, “Don’t worry about the snuggling. I love being the little spoon.”

Louis’ smile turned soft and he looked down at the duvet. “Do you?”

Harry smiled back and hummed in response before climbing out of bed. “Better go make brekkie, if Liam hasn’t already started.”

Louis stayed in place on the bed as Harry threw on a t-shirt and grabbed his phone before leaving the room. He made a quick stop and brushed his teeth, noticing Niall and Liam’s doors were both still shut, so he likely would be the first one to the kitchen. 

Good. He still needed to look over whatever shit he had pulled together for the actual questions he was meant to ask them this morning. He’d put real thought into it, considered the kinds of things he would want to be asked in this situation, in the hopes that if the Other Harry had come and taken over, he’d think Harry had done a decent job in his stead. Harry just hadn’t prepared himself fully to be the one asking the questions. He genuinely had believed his blind optimism and hadn’t expected to still be here.

Harry got the eggs and bacon cooking while he got the kettle started and toasted the bread, keeping himself busy enough with all of it that he was able to ignore, for the time being, that he was still here. Future Harry could deal with the fallout of his plan not working. For now, he needed to focus on breakfast and the rest of the interview. First things first.

Harry was so deep in his own head thinking over everything, that he didn’t realise anyone had joined him in the kitchen until Louis reached out and grabbed his bicep. 

Harry jumped, tossing the spatula he was holding onto the floor, and shouted, “Oh, fuck me!” as Louis’ eyes widened and he held his hands up in apology.

“I’m so sorry,” Louis said, eyes crinkling in a way that let Harry know he was doing his best to keep back his laughter, but it wasn’t going to be held at bay for long. “I only touched you because Niall and I both had been trying to get your attention and you were completely zoned out.”

Harry whipped his head to the table where Niall was sitting there watching the entire thing play out, his chin propped in the palm of one of his hands. 

“Yes, I’m here as well,” Niall teased. “You have a freakish amount of focus, did you know?”

“Yeah,” Harry said once he finally felt like he could breathe again. “It’s usually not this bad, but there’s just a lot on my mind I guess.”

Harry offered a smile before pulling a new spatula from the drawer and flipping the last of the eggs and bacon that were cooking. 

“So what were you trying to get my attention for?” Harry asked as he bent over for the old spatula and when he got up he noticed Louis’ eyes flicking to his face from his arse. Interesting.

“We just wanted to know if there was anything we could do to help,” Louis said with a smile before pulling down some mugs for their tea. 

“He’s lying,” Niall sang with a smirk.  _ “He _ wanted to know what he could do to help. I just wanted to know when food would be ready.”

Louis didn’t look over his shoulder at Niall before holding up his middle finger. Apparently Niall was already used to it, though, because he just cackled and greeted Liam as he came walking down the stairs.

Harry ignored those two and looked to Louis. “If you want to help get the plates and such ready, that would be great. Otherwise I think it’s pretty much all set.”

The rest of the morning flew by for Harry, including the interview. He was glad he had recorded it, because he remembered asking the questions, but not much more. He was in a bit of a fog, and probably would be for awhile. 

He knew that Louis could tell something was up, but he hoped the other two couldn’t. It wasn’t likely they could; this version of Niall and Liam hardly knew Harry at all, but Louis had been able to easily read Harry from the moment they’d met, or so it seemed to Harry.

“I think that’s all I’ve got for you, lads,” Harry said at the end, giving them a strained smile. “Thank you, again, for being willing to get together like this even though I know how busy your schedules are.”

“Of course,” Liam said with a kind smile as he stood up. “I enjoyed this and am glad we had the chance to get to know each other a little more.”

When Niall and Louis echoed his thoughts, Harry knew he should be happy. He should be pleased and excited, really, because he might have helped these boys find a support system for each other, even if they weren’t as close as they could be. Instead he felt empty, almost like this was some sort of second rate facsimile to what he had back home and it could never live up to what he knew they could have been and the friendship they could have had.

As he said goodbye to Liam and Niall, they both pulled him into hugs, and he tried to appreciate what they were offering him. It wasn’t their fault he was such a mess and feeling homesick and lost. When they waved and drove off in unfamiliar cars, though, Harry knew he wasn’t going to be able to hold off breaking down any longer.

Luckily, Louis had retreated to the bedroom to pack up his things, so Harry ran to the bathroom for some privacy and turned on the water in the sink to cover up any sniffles that might escape as he tried to cry as quietly as possible. As the sobs began to wrack his body and whines started to make their way past his unwilling throat, Harry shoved his fist into his mouth and did his best to focus on the pain of him biting his hand to stop the sounds.

Finally, Harry had cried all he could and he stood up on wobbly legs. He flushed the toilet in an attempt to throw Louis off before washing his face. It didn’t really matter, though. One look at Harry’s red rimmed eyes and Louis would know exactly what he had been doing, even if he didn’t understand why.

He dried his face, gathered his things, and then walked out of the bathroom. Harry stopped short when he realised Louis was waiting for him. He was leaning against the wall across the hall from the bathroom door, arms crossed across his chest and eyes filled with concern.

“Hazza, are you okay?” Louis asked quietly. “You’ve not been acting yourself this morning and I’m kind of worried about you.”

Harry’s eyes filled with tears and he nodded before changing his mind and shaking his head. Louis didn’t say anything else, he just stepped forward, his arms open, and wrapped Harry in them. Harry dropped his toiletries and held Louis tightly around the waist as he cried even more tears into Louis’ shoulder. Louis rubbed his back gently, petted his hair, and made soft soothing noises until Harry had calmed down again. Even then, he didn’t ask Harry why.

“Feel a little better?” Louis asked, completely ignoring the wet spot Harry had left on his t-shirt.

As Harry considered how he was feeling, he realised that he did. He was still lost, confused, and scared, but he felt as if the suffocating weight of the situation had lightened significantly. That was the most he could ask for at this point.

“Yeah,” Harry croaked, his voice deep and thick from his tears. “Thank you, Louis. And sorry for making your t-shirt wet.”

Louis rolled his eyes and started to walk back to the room they had shared. “I offered the hug knowing what the hazards were. It’s completely fine, Harry. You’re far more important than any ratty top of mine.”

Harry blushed and looked at his feet. “Well. Thanks again, then.”

They quietly finished packing their things, making sure all the food was removed from the fridge and cabinets, and that the bungalow was otherwise left in as good of shape as it had been when they’d arrived. Once Harry was satisfied, they locked the door behind themselves and got on the road.

Louis played a soothing playlist as Harry just sat, immersed in his thoughts. The silence between them remained comfortable, so Harry allowed himself to finally think about what exactly this development meant for him.

He would need to figure out if writing was an option for him. He should take one of the fancy cameras on the shelves out and see if he felt he could continue that aspect as well. If not, then he’d need to figure out something else entirely, and that could be fucking difficult.

Harry considered other career paths that someone who had finished uni on paper but couldn’t remember doing so might be able to pursue. He was left with startlingly few options and was wallowing in that fact when, next thing he knew, he jolted awake.

Harry rubbed his cheek and looked out to find it raining and Louis had parked them outside of Harry’s building.

“Oh my God,” Harry groaned. “How long have I been asleep?” He felt awful that he’d left Louis with zero conversation or anything for the entire drive back. 

Louis softly chuckled. “Long enough to get you some much needed rest.”

Harry glared at Louis for not being more exact, but he only glared right back. That would obviously get him nowhere. 

“Okay. Well. Sorry about that, but thank you, as well.”

Louis smiled. “Of course. And you know you can talk to me about whatever is going on, right? Like,” Louis rolled his eyes at himself, but he made eye contact again afterwards and Harry knew he was being serious. “I know we haven’t been talking for very long, but I really don’t mind. If you need me, I’m here. Alright?”

Harry nodded and then leaned forward for a hug. “Yeah. Thank you, Louis.”

Louis eventually pulled back and leaned to the side to look out the window, as if the pouring rain had stopped in the last couple of minutes. 

“I’d walk you to the door, but with the rain, I think I better not. You okay on your own?”

Harry nodded and grabbed his bag from the back seat. “Yeah, I’m good. Have a safe drive back to Stan’s. Let me know when you’ve made it, yeah?”

Louis’ smile brightened a little as he agreed. They waved awkwardly from their seats and then Harry ran inside the building. Time to let Gemma know the plan had failed.

Harry trudged up the stairs and was building up the energy to walk into the flat when his phone buzzed. Harry pulled it out and found a text from Louis, quickly followed by more. Wasn’t he driving?

**_Louis:_ ** _ I couldn’t drive off without asking what I swore to myself I would before saying goodbye tonight _ __  
**_Louis:_ ** _ I still don’t know that the timing is right because of whatever happened with you, but I can’t not ask now. I have to do it while I have the courage _ __  
**_Louis:_ ** _ Basically, all of this is to ask if you’d like to have dinner with me? I’ll still be in London for the rest of the week, so if one of those nights works for you I would love to take you out on a date. _ _  
_ **_Louis:_ ** __ Feel free to respond later when you’re doing better and this feels more appropriate. I’ve got to drive to Stan’s anyway. Have a good night, Haz!

Harry stared at his phone. It made sense that the attraction was mutual, it had been when they’d first met during the X Factor back home as well, but for some reason Harry hadn’t been expecting this. 

Louis had asked Harry on a date and Harry wanted to accept. Not only that, but Harry didn’t have a reason to refuse. The reason they’d decided not to give dating a go was because they were in a band together, were trying to break out as a musical act, and their management said it was bad for business. That obviously didn’t hold true here.

Harry debated whether to answer now or think on it more, like Louis was obviously expecting him to do, when Gemma pulled the door open, shocking him enough that he stumbled over his feet as he jumped back and landed hard on his arse right in the hall.

“I was done waiting for you to just make your way inside, so tell me already. Which Harry are you?”

Harry was overwhelmed with everything happening at once. He was lost because he was still here instead of home, shocked by Louis’ proposed date, and sitting on his arse in the hallway thanks to Gemma. Now she was demanding answers he was afraid to say out loud because that meant that they were real and it wasn’t just a dream and for the third time that day, Harry burst into tears.

“I didn’t make it home, Gem,” Harry said during breaks from his heaving sobs. “I really thought it would work and I feel like I’ve failed you because you believed it would work too, and it didn’t. I’m stuck here and I don’t know how to get home.”

Gemma’s nervous demeanour immediately melted away as she went into her protective sister role.

“Shhh, it’s okay, love. Come on, let’s get you inside so you aren’t crying in the cold hall.”

Harry nodded and let her help him up before they gathered his things and went inside the flat.

“I just,” Harry took a deep, shuddering breath before trying again. “I really thought it would work, but it didn’t. What do I do now?”

“It’s okay, but Harry.” Gemma guided Harry to their sofa and sat him down before grabbing his shoulder and forcing him to look at her in the eye. “I need to know why you feel like you’ve failed me. You could never fail me, love.”

“I know you love me, I do,” Harry said forcefully so she got the point before he continued, “but I’m not your Harry. I know you miss him just like I miss my Gemma. Getting myself home wasn’t just for me, it was for you and Mum and Robin and everyone to get  _ their _ Harry back too. But I failed. I’m still here.”

Gemma wrapped Harry in a hug. “Oh, H. It’s okay. I do miss him, but I’m glad that at least I get you.” 

Harry sank into her embrace, feeling a little better after hearing her say that. He pulled back and was about to try to change the topic when his phone buzzed again from the coffee table. Somehow it hadn’t locked yet and was still open to his conversation with Louis. Gemma’s eyes widened when she saw all of them. 

Apparently the buzz was because Louis had sent another. Gemma snatched it up and read them out loud to Harry before reading the last one Harry hadn’t seen yet.

**_Louis:_ ** _ I drove faster than I should, but I’m safely to Stan’s now. Wet, but safe. Hope you’re okay. _

“Harry,” Gemma said flatly. “Why haven’t you answered the man yet?”

Harry scoffed and shook his head. “I was in the hallway coming to terms with the fact that I’m still here and realising that the reasons that held us back from dating at home don’t factor in now and what that means for me and then there’s the idea that apparently I’ve always had a crush on my best fucking friend when you go and burst into the hallway, scaring the shit out of me by the way, so excuse me for not having the chance to do so yet!”

Gemma blinked at Harry’s emotional outburst before handing his phone over to him. “Yeah, okay. That makes sense, but come on. Put him out of his misery. You’re saying yes, right?”

Harry rolled his eyes and made a face at Gemma. “Of course I’m saying yes.”

Gemma scooted over so she could watch as he typed. Harry froze, his phone open to Louis’ message thread, and he turned to look at her.

“I’m not doing this with you looking over my shoulder. Either you leave or I will.”

Gemma pouted, but stood up. “You’re such a mean brother. God.” 

Harry flapped his hands at her until he couldn’t see her anymore because she’d gone down the hall to her room.

Once he focused on Louis’ texts again, Harry pursed his lips. He typed out several options, deleting and rewriting his response numerous times before he was finally happy with it.

**_Harry:_ ** _ Sorry to worry you. I’m not that great, but I will be. Talking with Gemma helped. Thank you for also remembering to let me know you made it back safely. As for the date, I would love to. I’m pretty free the rest of the week, so let me know when and where and I’ll be there. _

Reading it back, it sounded pretty clinical. Harry hoped Louis wouldn’t mind and would chalk it up to the fact that Harry was obviously in a bit of a funk. He really was excited, if he let himself think about it. A date with Louis would be fun, and it would be nice to not push down the feelings that Louis had been reigniting within him. Explore them for the first time in five years.

God, what would it be like now that they were adults? Would it feel like the same kind of freeing experience it had when they were sixteen and eighteen? Harry had felt like Louis was unlocking something within him when they would hang out together. Whenever Louis would touch him or simply look at him, Harry felt like he was ascending, becoming someone bolder, better, than he had been before. Would it be the same now? Would they be everything his adolescent self had hoped they could be, given the chance?

Harry wasn’t sure he should allow himself to hope, considering how crushed he was from falling short on his endeavour to get home. He couldn’t help feeling at least a little though.

**_Louis:_ ** _ Is tomorrow too soon? I really don’t want to have to wait if I don’t have to. _

Harry bit his lip. Yeah, maybe he could allow himself to hope.

**_Harry:_ ** _ Tomorrow would be perfect. _

  
  



	6. Chapter 6

*~~***~~*

 

“Gemma, how do I look? Is this too formal?” Harry spun in a circle, his hands held out so his sister could fully inspect him. “Louis refuses to tell me where he’s taking me, so I don’t know how to prepare for this and I’m kind of freaking out.”

“I’ve never seen you show off your cleavage like that, Harry,” Gemma said, looking impressed. “I kinda like it.”

“So I look okay?” Harry observed his nice, silky blouse that he’d paired with a tight pair of jeans and some worn boots. 

“Louis’ not going to be able to keep his hands off of you,” Gemma assured him. 

Harry smiled and blushed. He wasn’t sure he was ready for that, yet. He was still trying to get used to the idea that he might not ever be making it home and this was okay. He’d spent the entire morning talking with Gemma about possible job options before he then spent the rest of the afternoon psyching himself up for his date. Yeah, Harry would probably be okay with a kiss, but he wouldn’t be able to handle more than that with Louis just yet.

“Well,” Harry said, coughing lightly. “That’s good.”

“Pair it with your black blazer,” Gemma said before pointing in the direction of the front door, where Louis had just knocked. “You’ll look well fit. Now go get your man.”

Harry ran to the door and opened it before Louis had to knock again. He was about to welcome Louis in so he could find the blazer Gemma was referring to when he took in Louis’ appearance.

“Fuck,” Harry whispered. He couldn’t even come up with a word to describe him other than  _ wow. _

Louis had all of his curves on display and his hair was perfect and his eyes were blue and he was smiling and Harry might have whined a little bit. Hopefully not, but if he did he couldn’t have helped it. Louis was pretty much his dream man and he was standing there waiting to take Harry on a date. It was like he’d fallen asleep in May 2015 and woken up in a world where all his relationship dreams could come true.

“I uhm,” Louis started and as he shifted, Harry realised he hadn’t even noticed that Louis had an arm behind his back. As he brought it in front of him holding a gorgeous bouquet of bright flowers, Louis looked incredibly nervous and very much like his eighteen-year-old self that Harry first met and fell in love with.

Harry physically jolted and tried to cover it up by awkwardly reaching out and wheezing a “Thank you,” but his mind was a constant whir of  _ I love him I love him I love him. _ Fuck. How was he supposed to survive an entire date with Louis now that he’d realised the depth of his feelings for his best friend?

Harry loved Louis. Of course he did. It had been there since the beginning. Harry felt like his entire personal history, or at least that of the past five years, was brought into sudden clarity. Feelings he had been confused by, reactions he hadn’t been able to tamp down that at the time made no sense, the way he was always so indelibly drawn to Louis, finally had an explanation. He was in love with his best friend and possibly had been from the moment he’d seen his blue eyes and nervous smile as he introduced himself in the loo.

That had to be why their bond was so strong from the beginning. The love might have even been mutual for a time, though Harry didn’t think it was anymore back home. He was almost entirely certain that Louis had got over their crushes as teenagers and moved on. It hurt, but made sense.

Not that that mattered, Harry reminded himself. He was going to be in this reality until fate deemed him ready to go back home, and that looked like it might not ever happen. 

Harry pulled himself together and realised he had been staring at the flowers for far too long without hearing anything Louis could possibly have said. He looked up and gave Louis his biggest smile before finally inviting the man inside.

“Sorry. Come on in while I find a vase for these. They’re beautiful.”

Louis’ smile widened and Harry knew then that he would do everything he could tonight to make sure that smile only stayed on Louis’ face. Robin often told Harry he felt he had done his job as a good husband if he made Anne laugh every day. Harry wanted to get started with his new resolution to do the same for Louis right now.

After rifling through the cupboards, Harry found a vase that would work, filled it with water that would be a good temperature for the flowers, added the flower food, and had started cutting the bottoms of the stems when Louis finally joined him in the kitchen.

“There you are,” Harry said, giving Louis a smile over his shoulder. 

“What are you doing?” Louis asked, a fond smile in place. Had Louis been looking at him like that the entire time he’d been here? Or was he only just letting this softness toward Harry shine through?

“What do you mean?” Harry asked. “I’m putting the flowers in water. Taking care of them so they can stay healthy and bloom as long as possible.”

Louis’ brows were furrowed a little. “You have to snip the ends off?”

Harry nodded and showed Louis one of the ends. “Do it at a bit of an angle as well, and it allows them to take in more of the nutrients from the flower food.”

“Is that what I’ve been doing wrong all these years?” Louis asked with a laugh. “I’m kidding. I’m not often given flowers, so I never really had to worry about that. I just never knew.”

Harry quickly finished taking care of the flowers and arranged them in the vase before dumping the clippings and used paper into the bin.

“Okay. Ready now.”

“Alright. Let the fun begin.”

 

*~~***~~*

 

Harry was in a daze for most of the date. It was lovely, getting to go to dinner with Louis and feeling as relaxed as he did. What they were doing here, the ability to sit and enjoy each other’s company in a romantic setting in public, was everything he and his Louis had wanted back home. 

While they had been working up the guts to talk it out with each other, they had done the best they could to flirt without calling too much attention to themselves. Harry realised later, looking back on it, that they were incredibly obvious. It was embarrassing, but they were young.

Harry felt like he’d been able to skip that phase this time around, mostly because of their special circumstances, but also because, just like back home, Louis had taken the initiative to talk to Harry and figure out what was happening. In this case, he did it by asking Harry on a date. 

Since the only date in Harry’s universe they could have while living in the X Factor house was going to the shops together, the conversation had gone a little differently, but had ended in approximately the same place. Except for the whole being pressured into only be friends bit.

Harry  _ had _ thought that they’d succeeded in that - being just friends - but of course they hadn’t. Or, he hadn’t anyway. Harry mentally considered the past five years with the men he considered his brothers, and realised Louis always had been more than just his best friend. 

Louis was Harry’s confidant when he felt like the closet was too much for him to handle. He was the first person Harry called after writing a song he was particularly proud of. He was the one Harry always wanted to have sitting beside him, no matter the situation. He was the one Harry told his fears to, when they’d learned Zayn had decided it was best for him to leave the band. Louis was intertwined with almost every single memory Harry had of his life since the X Factor.

As Harry and this Louis laughed and ate off of each other’s plates and talked about their families, the dreams they had had for themselves when they started at the X Factor, their favourite films, and other first date talk, Harry also began to be more honest with himself than he had in a very long time. 

Harry knew part of why he was scared of the hiatus being so long was that he wasn’t sure who he was without the band, but he had to consider the idea that maybe he was also scared because it meant that he might be away from Louis for more than just a few weeks. The break between legs of their On the Road Again tour had felt like it was slowly killing him, and it had only been just over a month since he’d seen Louis.  With this hiatus, Harry could potentially have to go an entire year, or longer, without seeing Louis more than a handful of times. Going from being in each other’s back pockets almost nonstop to that would be an adjustment for all of them, but specifically Louis? Louis had become the man that Harry had latched onto with so much of his heart that he was afraid he would lose it, and Louis, completely.

With all of that still hanging in his mind, Harry was glad for the chance he had to see where their relationship could go in this world. It wasn’t the same Louis he had loved for five years, but he was still the same core person and Harry already could tell that he could come to care for this Louis just as much as his own.

They talked so long at dinner, they missed the film Louis had planned for them to see, so they grabbed coffees and talked some more at a coffee shop that was close to the restaurant before eventually deciding it was time to finally head home, or in Louis’ case, his friend Nick’s.

“I thought you were staying with Stan this week?” Harry asked as they made their way through the dark London streets. 

“I was for a few days, but Nick had been bugging me and saying I wouldn’t have to sleep on a couch if I stayed at his. He’s got a proper guest room, so I figured I’d go sleep at Grimmy’s.”

Harry’s head whipped to Louis so fast he heard it crack. “You’re friends with Grimmy?”

Harry hadn’t anticipated Louis knowing Nick, much less being friends with him. He knew it would be possible for him to cross paths with Liam or Niall because of their professions, but Nick hadn’t been close to either of them like he had been with Louis and Harry back home.

“Yeah! He worked an event I was interning for back in uni and we ran into each other. Been friends ever since.” Louis signalled the turn for Harry’s street, then continued. “That was before he got the Breakfast Show, you know. He wasn’t the popular shit he is now, though he likes to pretend he was always as famous as he is now.”

Harry smirked. That sounded about right. “Well, that’s nice of him to offer the room.”

Louis parked and put on his hazards before turning to Harry. He looked nervous, but not quite as bad as when he’d first shown up with flowers. 

“I know that we live quite a way apart, but I really like you, Harry.” Louis gave a small smile. “I would love to be able to go out again, when our schedules allow.”

Harry nodded immediately. “Me too. I like you too, Lou.”

Louis bit his lip, but the crinkles by his eyes gave away his smile. Harry blushed a little, knowing he was the reason Louis was so happy, and it was just because he wanted to see Louis again as well. Louis had a special power to make Harry feel like a kid again, but only in the best of ways. 

“Can I kiss you?” Louis asked quietly. 

Harry took a breath before shaking his head slowly. He watched Louis’ face fall, like he somehow believed Harry would truly say no after confessing he was interested in Louis as well. 

“Not until you’ve walked me to the door like a gentleman,” Harry explained. Louis’ face lit right back up, and Harry knew. He never wanted to be without that smile.

Louis pulled to a legal parking space and turned off the car. As they reached the outer door for Harry’s building, Louis placed his hand on the small of Harry’s back and gently guided him in. The gesture made the blush that had almost receded from a few minutes ago come back with a vengeance. Harry knew Louis was sweet and especially attentive when he was interested in someone, but experiencing it for himself was particularly incredible.

They got to Harry’s door and they slowed before facing each other. Louis stepped a little closer, giving Harry a small smirk before saying, “Do I have your permission now?”

Thoughts whirled through Harry’s mind. Should he put his hand on Louis’ waist? Cup his cheek? Would Louis still tilt his head the same way he had when they’d snuck off to snog in an empty room at the X Factor house? 

Pushing those thoughts to the side, Harry leaned into Louis’ space - almost kissing him, but not quite - and said, “Absolutely.”

Louis tilted his head up, and from there, Harry forgot about everything he’d been worried about before. He didn’t know or care what his hands were doing, which way he tilted his head, or the fact he was entirely out of practice when it came to kissing someone, because it didn’t matter. Kissing Louis felt natural, like it was something he always had and always would know how to do. Put a little more pressure here, lick his lips there, give a slight nip as he was trying to pull away. 

Harry’s body was responding and taking over, and Harry was able to bask in the  _ feel _ of the kiss. The rough scrape of Louis’ barely there scruff. The tingles that surrounded where his cold fingers somehow found the skin of Harry’s hip. The way Harry’s entire body felt like it was on fire.

Harry needed air, eventually, and this kiss wasn’t going anywhere just yet. He needed to stop before he tried to get there too soon.

Louis was panting as much as Harry was, a bright smile on his face that perfectly showed off his flushed cheeks and kiss pinkened lips.

“We’ll be planning that second date soon, right?” Louis asked. “I don’t want to have to wait too long before I’m able to do that again.”

Harry scrunched his nose in an attempt to cover his pleasure at hearing that Louis was as excited for their second date as Harry was. “Yeah. You look at your diary and we’ll figure out a good time for us.”

Louis nodded and started walking backwards toward the hall. “Have a good night, Hazza.”

“Drive safe, Lou.”

As soon as Louis was out of sight, Harry shoved his key into the door and, once he was safely inside the flat with the door shut, he began to squeal and jump around before finally standing in a wide legged squat and punching the air in excitement.

“Oh my God. What am I witnessing?”

Harry turned to Gemma, a wide smile on his face. “I’m in love with Louis and the date was amazing and we just had the most amazing kiss in the history of all kisses, no offense to you and Michal, and shit, Gem! I love him.” 

Harry was still panting in the excitement and come down from the kiss, but he could see Gemma’s smile was only half sass.

“I’m glad, baby brother. I just ask that you don’t start twirling around saying ‘I’m in love! I’m in love and I don’t care who knows it!’ before decorating the flat with Lite Brites and homemade snowflakes.”

Harry’s shoulders dropped. “You watched  _ Elf _ without me, didn’t you?” 

Gemma’s eyebrows rose and she pursed her lips together, which just proved Harry’s suspicions were right. She was definitely guilty.

“I thought you were going to wait to do that until December first to kick off our twenty-five days of Christmas film fest,” Harry pouted. “You couldn’t even let me have a date with Louis before breaking out one of the best ones?”

“Oh please,” Gemma said as she walked into the kitchen. “At least I didn’t watch  _ The Family Stone _ like I almost did.”

“Of course not. You value your life too much to do that. But you’re still gonna have to rewatch  _ Elf _ in a few days.”

“Sure thing.” Gemma propped her hip against the worktop once the kettle had been switched on. “So it was a good date?”

Harry nodded, going shy now that the exhilaration had worn off a little.

“And you finally figured out you love him?” she asked as she inspected her nails like she’d just asked what the weather would be like tomorrow.

Harry narrowed his eyes. “You knew?”

Gemma dropped her hand back to her side and arched a brow. “Everyone with eyes knew. I bet the others, Neil and Lenny or whatever, also knew within five minutes of being with the two of you.”

Harry let out a loud cackle. He knew she knew their names, she was just pretending she didn’t to bother him. 

“Lenny? Where the fuck did you get the name Lenny?”

“That’s what you’re choosing to focus on right now?” She turned off the kettle and poured the water into their mugs. “And Michal might have had me watch  _ That Thing You Do _ with him the other day, so it was the first name that started with an L that I could think of.”

“Looks like Lenny’s going fishing!” Harry crowed as he made his tea to his liking.

“Prrrrresidential flashcards,” she quoted right back. 

They laughed a little before Harry turned to his sister and wrapped his arms around her. “I love you very much a lot, you know?”

“Yeah, I know. Love you back.”

 

*~~***~~*

 

Harry felt the sun shining in his eyes. That was strange for numerous reasons. First, the sun rarely showed itself in London, much less in November. Second, the sun shouldn’t be able to hit his face unless his room layout had physically changed as he slept.

It was that second reason that made Harry sit up in a flash, all remnants of sleep completely gone.

He was back. He’d finally somehow made it back home! He was in bed in his LA house, his phone sitting where he’d left it ages ago, but in this life only the night before. 

Harry could hardly believe it. What had caused it? He had thought he was going to be stuck there for...well, potentially permanently. He’d started coming to terms with being there and adjusting to the different pace of life it afforded him. 

He was happy to be back, of course he was, but also he was going to miss that Gemma. He felt a little bit of longing for that Louis. It was only a short amount of time, but he’d grown attached. He really was relieved to be back, so much so he could nearly cry, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t mourning the loss of the other versions of his friends and family, at least for a moment.

Harry looked down, and before he could even see all of his tattoos, finally the right combination of them, he had hair hanging in his face. 

“Oh shit,” Harry said as he tucked it behind his ears. He’d almost forgotten he had long hair. 

His phone began to vibrate and ring, playing Sheppard’s  _ Geronimo. _ It was his alarm tone, just like he had set it right before going to...wherever he’d been. It was going off because...what did he have today? God, he’d been away so long he was out of the mindset of what his life was like here. He had no idea what kinds of things he had scheduled for the day. At least things didn’t really pick up again until they filmed their appearance on the Late Late Show next week.

Harry turned off the alarm and found numerous texts from all of the boys, but especially Louis. Harry ignored all of them for the time being, instead going to the calendar app to review what he had going on.

Oh right. The pap walk with the Gucci sunnies he’d received. He loved them, so at least there was that. And he still had a couple of hours before the car came to pick him up.

Harry read through what Niall and Liam had sent, trying to explain themselves and their thinking for why they’d decided to make the hiatus longer. He couldn’t even conjure up a slight echo of the anger he’d felt that night, the one that was weeks ago for him but only hours ago for them. He knew they needed it. Harry also knew they’d need to fight hard to get the hiatus on their terms, so he was ready to (finally) agree in order to start making their demands.

First, though, Harry needed to make sure things were okay with him and Louis. He couldn’t remember what he’d said to him, but he knew it wasn’t incredibly nice. Since he now realised he loved Louis, he absolutely, one hundred percent, needed to make sure they were on good grounds so he could figure out how he was going to hopefully get Louis fall in love with him too. Or at least just tell him. 

Fuck. That was going to be easier said than done.

Harry shook his head and opened his chat window with Louis.

**_Louis:_ ** _ Don’t be mad at Niall, H. We didn’t leave you out of the discussions on purpose. It happened when we were talking one on one. We just all feel like we could use a break from all of this and maybe each other a bit too. You get that, right? _   
**_Louis:_ ** _ We love you, H. We’re your brothers. We just need some time to ourselves, and I think you need that too. _

**_Harry:_ ** _ I know. Still not happy about it, though. _

**_Louis:_ ** _ I know, Haz. But we’re all tired. You just as much as the rest of us. _ _   
_ **_Louis:_ ** _ You realise that, yeah? It really is for the best. _ _   
_ **_Louis:_ ** _ Okay, fine. Ignore me for now. But please let me know you’re alright in the morning, okay? _ _   
_ **_Louis:_ ** __ I’m back in LA already, so if you don’t talk to me by noon or something I’m coming and banging on your door until you let me in.

Harry smiled. Louis was in LA too. He hadn’t realised that. They should get together once he was done with things this morning. That would be great.

**_Harry:_ ** _ You’re in LA? Great. We should get together this afternoon. _ _   
_ **_Harry:_ ** _ And I’m fine. After sleeping on it I know we need it so let’s figure out how we’re gonna break the news to everyone _

Harry read and reread the texts, doubting himself a little bit. Maybe it was a bad idea to see Louis already. After all, he didn’t know what exactly had sent him back or anything, and he was still kind of coming to terms with the realisation he loved Louis and…

Wait. Was that what had sent him back? Was it really as simple as finally coming to the understanding that he was in love with his best friend?

Harry snorted at himself as he went to choose what outfit he should wear. Simple. He wouldn’t exactly describe his realisation that he loved Louis as simple. Sure, the fact of it had been, but all of the implications and the emotional ramifications were anything but. It almost would have been simpler if he’d stayed in that other universe, but he really was glad to be home with his Louis again.

Home. His Louis. Hmm. That was a thought he’d have to delve into further once he had a minute.

Harry walked into his wardrobe and the first t-shirt he saw was the white one he and Louis often traded between them. It wasn’t for any particular reason. In fact, it had started as an accident because both of them had white t-shirts in the dressing room and Louis had put on Harry’s for the show. After that, it was more of a joke. Or Harry had thought it was. Now he was hoping it meant a little more, and perhaps getting papped wearing it would help send Louis a message.

Harry pulled it off the hanger and fingered the stretched out neckline. He loved this shirt because it gave a hint as to the tattoos that lay beneath. It would look just fine with a classic pair of black skinnies and his chelsea boots. Plus, hopefully Gucci would be happy that their sunnies were the most exciting part of the outfit.

Harry grabbed the jeans he would wear and tossed them along with the t-shirt onto his bed before showering.

The entire shower, his mind wandered to Louis. The chances were slim that he hadn’t moved on in the past five years, so Harry had to be prepared for that. He also didn’t want to give up before he’d even had a chance with Louis, though. He’d made that mistake once as a scared sixteen year old. He wasn’t going to again.

Harry really felt like he had to ease into it, though. He didn’t want to suddenly start laying on the charm and make Louis think he either didn’t mean it or have one of the other boys question why he was acting weird. He had to make sure he behaved the same, but still at least flirted with Louis a little. Spent a little more time with him than he already did. That kind of thing.

Harry hung his head under the water before actively trying to rinse the conditioner out. This was going to be difficult for him to do because he always wore his heart on his sleeve and was ridiculously obvious, no matter what. And Louis had the added bonus of being able to read him like a book.

Stepping out of the shower, Harry grabbed a towel and firmed his resolve. Louis was worth it. Even if everyone was able to see right through him, it couldn’t be worse than it was while on the X Factor. And besides. He had been reminded of what it was like to kiss Louis, and there was no way he was going to just give that up.

Harry left the bathroom and saw his phone light up. He jogged over to the bed and immediately unlocked it to find a message from Louis.

**_Louis:_ ** _ Yeah, we can get together if you want. Come over to mine? _

Harry smiled. He loved Louis’ house in LA. It was much more comfortable than his own. Where Harry’s had vaulted ceilings and views of the ocean, Louis’ had photographs of his family and a nice garden with a football goal. It was still spacious and opulent, but it didn’t remind people of his wealth at every turn in the same way Harry’s did. Maybe that was why his never felt quite right for him, even if he did love the location and view.

**_Harry:_ ** _ See you there. I’ll text when I’m on my way. _

Harry bit his lip. The giddy feeling in his chest didn’t seem like it was going to leave, but he was also a little nervous.

Harry’s phone rang with a reminder that he would be getting picked up shortly, so he rushed to finish getting himself ready. He could worry about Louis later. First, he needed to go out and figure out what exactly he would be doing while getting papped.

 

*~~***~~*

 

Harry knocked on Louis’ door, still trying to brush off his annoyance from the last hour. Everything had gone just fine until he’d been informed that he would have another outing the next day and he was required to have a female companion. 

He hated this shit. Female companion? He’d show them. He had already reached out to Ben to see if Meredith was available and she was. She would be his so-called date to Randy’s restaurant tomorrow and he already planned to wear his flamingo button down as well. Harry was done with the image thrown on him so forcefully by his team and sure, he’d been fighting it for awhile, but it had felt so incredibly  _ good _ while he was in that other universe to not have to hide. He was going to have to up his game here.

“Hey, Haz,” Louis said with a yawn as he let Harry in. “Sorry. Didn’t sleep well last night. Jet lag and all.”

Harry smiled in understanding. “That’s fine. We ordering in or do you already have food? I’m starving.”

“Ordering in. I had to go to a club last night pretty much right from the airport, so I haven’t had a chance to get to the shops and you know how I hate the delivery services here.”

Harry had to laugh. The one and only time Louis had attempted to use one in the States was a year or so ago. The person delivering had been so shell shocked to find that the person answering the door was actually a member of One Direction that they’d only delivered two bags of food, and most of them were substitutions for the items Louis had actually wanted. Ever since, Louis preferred to do his own shopping.

“Yeah, I know.” 

Harry left his boots by the door and followed Louis to the living room where he had a few takeout menus on the coffee table.

“I wasn’t sure what you’d be in the mood for,” Louis explained. “I’m kind of wanting Mexican since I was craving actual Mexican food and couldn’t find anything to really hit the spot back home, but I recently found this really great Korean place that just started delivering, so if you want that we could go that route instead.”

Harry kind of heard what Louis was saying, but he couldn’t stop looking at him. He looked so different from the Louis he’d been spending time with in the other universe, and seeing his Louis again made Harry almost want to cry with relief. His hair was longer here and he was wearing an old tank top that showed off all the tattoos that he’d mostly been missing in the other world.

“Harry? Which one?”

Harry shook his head and had to physically force himself back into the seat cushions so he wouldn’t randomly wrap Louis into a hug. He settled himself with throwing his legs over Louis’ and hoped that physical touch would be enough to keep his urges to have Louis as close to him as possible under control.

“You choose. Surprise me. You know what I like.”

Louis wagged his eyebrows at Harry. “What if I were to order you something incredibly spicy though?”

Harry rolled his eyes but found he was able to actually focus on what Louis was saying, now that he was touching him. Progress. “Then you’d be the one forced to eat it, because I’d just eat your food instead.”

Louis laughed. “Touché.”

Harry watched as Louis ordered the food on his phone. He had to have been stupid for ever thinking the attraction he felt towards Louis was what one felt for a friend. The soft twitch of a smile made Harry’s heart skip a beat, the way he bounced his leg as he considered what to order didn’t annoy Harry in the slightest. Louis was even thoughtful enough to place his left hand on Harry’s ankles so he didn’t jostle him too much with his constant leg movement. That touch may have caused shooting electricity to course through Harry’s veins, but that only added to the evidence against him, just one more item on a pile of signs that Harry had been daft.

“Okay, stop staring at me with your serial killer frog face, please,” Louis requested.

Harry’s jaw dropped. “Excuse you, I am not a serial killer or a frog, take that back!”

“Maybe you are, maybe you’re not. All I know is I can feel your eyes boring into me and it’s making me want to order only brown rice with our food.”

Harry squawked. “I’ve obviously chosen poorly when it came to best mates.” Harry folded his arms across his chest and sank down even further into the cushions. Well. A little bit further. He was already down quite a bit from earlier when he was trying to keep from hugging Louis and throwing his every chance at being nonchalant out the window.

In response Louis just squeezed his ankles a bit more before tapping out a few more things and then setting his phone down. 

“Fine. Go have Niall feed you. Or Liam. They’d at least try to cook. But they’re also half a world away, so.” Louis shrugged and laughed at Harry. “I didn’t get the brown rice, okay? I’m not a monster. God, stop looking at me like you’re about to cry.”

Harry had to look away from Louis and try to pull himself together. It was so stupid, but he really was on the verge of tears, just because he had missed Louis and how he knew everything about Harry, the way he teased him and always kept him on his toes even while he did everything he possibly could to take care of Harry. The emotional rollercoaster of the past few weeks that Harry had experienced was finally catching up to him, and unfortunately Louis was here to witness it.

“Hey,” Louis said softly, scooting over so Harry was practically sitting in Louis’ lap. Louis wrapped his arms around Harry and pulled him in close. As Harry sniffled back the tears, he took in the scent of cigarettes and wintergreen that followed him constantly, and it was then that Harry realised why he had felt so homesick while he was in that other world. 

Home wasn’t one of his houses or even his family. Home was Louis,  _ this _ Louis. Yes, coming back to the life that Harry remembered and was familiar with was home, but more than anything it was Louis. No wonder he had to realise he was in love with him in order to be able to come back to him. 

“Are you okay, love?” Louis asked softly, his hands running down Harry’s back. “You’ve seemed a bit off all day.”

Harry let out a wet laugh, but luckily no tears had actually fallen. They’d just lodged in his throat, apparently.

“Not really,” Harry admitted, before nuzzling into Louis’ embrace a little more. “But I feel better with you.”

Louis hummed in response before laying them down on the couch. “Let’s get some good snuggle time in then and watch some bad telly while we wait for our food. How’s that sound?”

Harry turned his back to the television so he could nuzzle into Louis’ chest. It was more than what he would have done before, but he needed to be close to Louis. He loved him and was still figuring out what that meant and how to bring it up. He could allow himself this one cuddle before figuring out the rest.

 

*~~***~~*

 

“Yeah, I don’t know what, yet, but something is definitely up with Harry.”

Harry’s muscles froze and the sleep that usually left him foggy and slow for awhile was wiped clean away. Louis had got off the couch at some point, and was talking on the phone in the hallway. He tried to keep his breathing quiet and even so Louis wouldn’t notice he’d woken up to hear the rest of what he was going to say.

“I don’t know, he’s just acting off. Like, he won’t stop staring at me and was extra cuddly.” Harry squeezed his eyes shut. He was so embarrassing. He couldn’t even hide his feelings for an hour. “Shut up, more than he usually does. You know what I mean.”

Harry let out a little breath of laughter. Louis was probably talking to Niall or Liam.

“Yeah. I just need to get him to talk to me, I think. I’m not sure if it’s worry about the hiatus or what. I’m kind of regretting how we told him about it. I think it hit him harder than we thought it would.”

Harry rolled his eyes. If only his change in behaviour was because of the extended length of the hiatus. If that was his cause of worry, then it would be easily taken care of and Harry would be back to normal after a few minutes of conversation. Instead he was freaking out because he figured out he was in love with his best friend who probably didn’t love him back. 

“Oh fuck off and go drink or whatever you were in the middle of doing before you got the brilliant idea to call me. Bloody hell.” 

It sounded like that really was the end of the call, because Louis started walking back into the room. Harry peeked his eyes open to see what clues he could find as to how long he had been asleep. The lighting definitely had changed, but he hadn’t slept too long by the looks of it, so that was good. The food had likely gone cold though.

“I know you’re awake,” Louis said as he entered the room. Harry groaned and rolled onto his back, but Louis just laughed. “You’re awful at faking sleep and I heard you pop your toes like you do after a nap.”

Harry pouted but finally opened his eyes. “I don’t always crack my toes,” Harry argued. Thinking on it, though, he might. “Do I?”

Louis chucked a pillow that had fallen to the floor at Harry’s face. “You do. Now, are you finally ready to eat and tell me what’s bothering you?”

“Eating, yes,” Harry said slowly. “Talking about what’s bothering me, I’m not sure I’m ready yet.”

Harry watched as Louis’ face dropped in surprise and hurt before he wiped all signs of it away and turned to grab the food off the coffee table.

“No, Lou, I didn’t mean-”

“It’s fine,” Louis said as he sauntered to his kitchen. 

Harry knew it was anything but. Louis was just trying to save Harry’s feelings and cover his own hurt and Harry hated thinking Louis was hurting because of him. But what was he supposed to do? Just say,  _ Oh, hey, and by the way, I’m kind of in love with you and think you’re it for me. My one and only, maybe even my soulmate, so would you like to reconsider dating me for the first time in over four years? _ Or, even better,  _ I think I was sent to an alternate reality for the sole purpose of realising I’ve been in love with you ever since I met you in the loo and now I’m back so wanna be my special person?  _ That was not going to happen.

Harry groaned but got up from the couch. He wasn’t ready to explain, but he also didn’t want Louis hurt or mad at him. 

Louis plated up Harry’s food and put it into the microwave as Harry entered the kitchen. Wrapping his arms around Louis’ midsection, Harry propped his chin on his shoulder.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you. It’s just, I’m still kind of wrapping my head around everything so I’m not ready to talk about it with anyone yet.”

Louis sank back into Harry’s arms and nodded his head. “I get that. But you know I’m here for you, yeah? And if it’s to do with the hiatus-”

“It’s not,” Harry interrupted. “I swear, it isn’t. It’s something completely different.”

The microwave beeped, so Louis pulled away to get the food out. Once the plate was back on the worktop, Louis turned around and nodded. 

“I can tell something is bothering you, though. So promise me, you’re okay?”

Louis’ blue eyes were pleading and Harry couldn’t deny Louis anything. “I’m okay. A little lost, but I’ll figure it out.”

Louis studied Harry’s eyes before giving a soft smile. “Okay.”

Harry watched as Louis walked back out to the living room. He didn’t feel guilty, but he did feel heavy with the weight of his unspoken confession. He would tell Louis eventually, but he didn’t want it to be completely out of nowhere. Harry wanted Louis to know from Harry’s actions that he meant everything he said when he finally told Louis his feelings.

And that...that was it. Harry was used to holding back his physical affection for Louis, but he wasn’t going to anymore. He would give in to the constant need to touch, to cuddle, to take care of Louis and hopefully, if all went well, by the time he had gathered his courage to tell Louis his feelings, it wouldn’t be a surprise.

 

*~~***~~*

 

“Hey, Haz. I need you to come over and take a look at a song I’m writing. I was gonna just send it to you, but I want to be able to explain while you’re hearing and reading it. Think you can come over today?”

Harry rubbed at his eyes. He’d been up late the night before, thanks to Jeff getting them into the Fleetwood Mac show last minute. It was a great time, but Harry had stayed out too late and now Louis was calling him at the crack of dawn about a song.

“Are you still dealing with jet lag or something?” Harry asked in response. “You’re never up this early.”

Louis’ laugh filtered through the line. “It’s nearly ten. That’s quite late for you to be sleeping, isn’t it?”

Harry pulled his phone away from his ear and tried to focus on the time. Louis was right. Harry was thrown off already and this was his first chance to really try putting his plan into place with showing Louis how much he really did care. 

“Okay, yes. You’re right. I may have drank too much with Mick last night, sorry. But I can definitely come over.” Harry rubbed at his face and tried to wake up some. He didn’t feel hungover, so that was a positive at least. “What time were you thinking?”

“Whenever. Maybe a late lunch? Say, around one?”

Harry did the maths in his head, figuring how long it would probably take him to get over to Louis’ as well as showered. “Okay, I should be able to do that. Want me to bring anything?”

“Nah, I’ve got it taken care of already. Just get here so you can help me with the song.”

Harry smiled. He couldn’t help it. He loved it when Louis got a little bossy and assumed Harry would go along with anything he suggested. It was probably because Harry always did go along with it and, while they weren’t always the best ideas, they always were fun.

“Okay, fine. I’ll see you soon.”

He hung up and went to get ready before heading over to Louis’.

By the time Harry pulled up to Louis’ house, it was nearly half past. Harry walked up to the door and knocked on it to find it opened right up. Harry walked in and toed off his shoes, but the place looked deserted.

“Lou, your door was just sitting open. You need to be more careful of things like that. I know you’re in a gated community and you have your own additional gates on the driveway, but-”

Harry was interrupted when he walked into the kitchen and he was tackled by two men who were screaming at him.

“Fucking hell, I hate you two!” Harry cried as Liam and Niall pressed kisses to his cheeks and continued their awkward hugs while Harry tried to keep his balance.

“No you don’t,” Niall yelled right in Harry’s ear. “You fucking love us.”

Harry looked over their shoulders- ignoring Liam who was already talking Harry’s ear off without even pulling away -and saw Louis watching on fondly by the stove. 

Harry narrowed his eyes at him and mouthed, “This was all you.”

Louis shrugged, smirk firmly in place telling Harry everything he needed to know.

“Thank you,” Harry mouthed again. Louis just nodded and turned back to where he was dividing up sandwiches and crisps.

“Lads, shut up a moment,” Harry demanded and Liam immediately put on a pout as he pulled back.

“Look who’s being rude and we’ve only seen him a few minutes after being apart for ages.”

Harry punched Liam in the arm. “You know I love you, but what is up with Lou? He’s gone all domestic.”

Louis’ jaw dropped and he turned to look at Harry. “Here I am trying to do something nice for you and all you’re doing is taking the piss!” Louis tossed down the bag of crisps he was about to open and wiped his hands on his joggers. “Fine, if you don’t appreciate it, you can get your own food and I’ll be at the table.”

“Heyyy,” Harry called, wrapping his arms around Louis to pull him into his chest. Harry nuzzled his nose into Louis’ cheek the way he knew Louis hated because it made him feel like he was getting sniffed by a dog. “Thanks, Lou. I mean it.”

Louis shrugged the best he could from the position he was in. “You’re welcome. But I’m still expecting you to bring me my lunch.”

Harry chuckled and placed a soft kiss to Louis’ temple before letting him go. Louis just stood and watched, confused look on his face, as Harry walked back to the food. Harry chuckled a little, but hoped that meant his plan to act upon his inclinations wouldn’t be poorly received. Louis might be confused for a short time, but hopefully not too long.

“So for real, did you two come out when Louis called all worried about how I was acting?” Harry asked as he finished making up a plate for himself and Louis. He grabbed a beer for each of them out of the fridge and then turned to walk into the dining room where Louis was waiting. “I didn’t think you were supposed to be here until we recorded the Late Late Show.”

“Yeah, well Louis was worried about you and neither of us had much else planned really. So we came out a little early. Thought we could work in some more songwriting, maybe even some recording if we could grab some studio time.”

“That sounds great, actually,” Harry said. He’d hoped for some more time alone with Louis before the other two joined them, but he’d missed Liam and Niall as well. “I was going a bit mad not seeing you lot for so long.”

Niall smiled, a little sad. “Yeah. It’s weird, but good, I think.”

Harry looked around at the three people who had been more important in his life these past several years than almost anyone. “Yeah. Give us a chance to miss each other for once.”

“Exactly,” Liam said with a nod. “Now that we’re together, we should figure out how we’re going to break the news of the hiatus to…” Liam faded off before widening his eyes and popping in a crisp. “Everyone, I guess.”

Harry nodded and looked at Louis. Louis was watching Harry carefully, so Harry reached out and wrapped an arm around his shoulder, scooting his chair so he was sitting as close as possible while still having room to each their respective lunches.

Louis’ eyes held a question in them, but Harry wasn’t sure what it was. Before he could figure it out, Louis turned back to Liam and Niall and said, “So, I was thinking about that, actually…”

 

*~~***~~*

 

Liam and Niall begged off only about an hour after lunch, jet lag having got the best of them. Once they’d left, Harry turned to Louis, hands on his hips.

“So did you lure me over here with a nonexistent song, or do you have one you’ve actually been working on?”

Louis blew air out through his lips before turning around and waving Harry to follow him. “I’ve been writing quite a bit these last few weeks. Met up with John and Jamie for a little bit, but mostly been working on things myself.”

“I’ve been trying but haven’t been making it very far,” Harry admitted. He’d jotted a few notes on things he’d been inspired by while he was with the Other Gemma, but those notes are lost now. The only thing he could remember was the line  _ for your eyes only,  _ and he wasn’t sure where to take that.

Louis turned and smiled, but Harry could tell there were nerves lying underneath. “This one...I’m not sure that I want it to actually be recorded.”

“Why not?” Harry asked. 

Louis finally walked into his music room where there was a small upright piano, a guitar he barely used, and a multitude of speakers, tables, and couches. It was the perfect writing space, in Harry’s opinion. Louis threw himself onto an overstuffed couch and grabbed the notebook he had on the table.

“It’s really personal,” Louis finally said. “Like, I put a lot of my feelings about being in this situation into it. How, like, most people don’t know me, not really, but I’m going to do the best I can to make it safe for them. For everyone.”

Harry sat down by Louis’ feet and pulled them onto his lap. “That sounds incredible.”

Louis still wasn’t meeting Harry’s eyes though, which indicated he had more to say. Harry waited him out, knowing he would say it when he was ready.

His patience was rewarded a minute or so later when Louis continued, “I may have written it with a specific person in mind as well, and that’s kind of the reason I’m not sure about sharing it with anyone else or even recording it. I just don’t know if I’m ready for it to be read or heard by others, you know?”

Harry studied Louis’ face and how he was fiddling with his notebook. “You don’t have to show me if you aren’t ready.” Harry rubbed Louis’ shins soothingly before saying, “You’re waiting for me when I’m ready. I can wait for you too. If you’re never ready, that’s okay too.”

Louis looked up and finally met Harry’s eyes, and Harry felt a weight with his gaze, a seriousness that wasn’t usually there when they were together. 

Harry and Louis’ friendship was ease, comfort, and dependability. It wasn’t heavy talks about important things, except in those rare dark nights when they felt lost. This felt like one of those rare times when they clung to each other and the hope that, if they could just feel that there was someone there with them, struggling in the same way, that they could make it through. 

“I think I’m ready,” Louis said. “Mostly because I do want some help from you. Your thoughts, I guess.”

Harry nodded, and Louis stood up before walking over to the piano.

“In my mind, I hear this with a simple guitar sound, but it’ll have to do with piano to give you an idea of the sound.”

Harry settled in. He loved Louis’ songs and how he wrote was an amazing process. Usually he was more lyrically minded, so the fact he had a basic sound in mind for it as well meant this was different from his others and Harry was ready to have his mind blown.

Louis started playing some chords on the piano. “I’m not sure how I want the melody to go, so I’ll just kinda speak the verses and what I have of the chorus. I’m a bit stuck on the chorus, which is why I wanted to talk to you about it.”

Louis began to recite the lyrics in a basic rhythm that made it sound more like spoken poetry set to music, and already the words struck Harry so deeply he sat up to pay it better attention.

_ Make a little conversation _ _   
_ _ So long I’ve been waiting _ _   
_ _ To let go of myself and feel alive _ _   
_ _ So many nights I thought it over _ _   
_ _ Told myself I kind of liked her _ _   
_ __ But there was something missing in her eyes

As Louis went on and kind of glossed over where he imagined the chorus to be, he continued the story in the second verse, and Harry got chills. Louis was spelling out exactly what Harry’s experiences were surrounding the realisation that he wasn’t straight. 

The song was still ambiguous enough, at least from what Harry could tell, that they could probably get away with it, should Louis decide he wanted to fight for it to be the next album, but it was powerful. It was important. It was a statement that Harry very much wanted to make for their fans. 

It also got him wondering who the person was Louis wrote it for.

When Louis got to the end of what he had written, he turned around and, squishing his face up like he was ready to be torn apart, asked, “So, what do you think? Think you could help me with the chorus?”

Harry looked at Louis and tried to compose his thoughts. When he did, there was one word that he felt like fit best. The word that had haunted him the entire time he was in that other universe or reality or whatever it was. The word he used for getting back to his life, but that he had since decided was most aptly used when describing Louis. 

“Home.” Harry croaked out. He cleared his throat, and tried again. “What about something to do with home?”

Louis immediately turned back to the piano and began working again, scribbling madly in his notebook before scratching out and erasing and writing something more. 

Louis turned to Harry and a wide smile was lighting his entire face. “You just unblocked me. Thank you so much.”

“The song is incredible, Louis,” Harry said as sincerely as he could. He wished Louis was closer so he could wrap him in a hug. Instead, he made do with leaning forward and infusing his words with as much feeling as he could. “The emotions and everything it encompasses is amazing. I feel like you and Liam have a great songwriting relationship and he could help with the music side of things and really bring it to life in the way you’re wanting.”

Louis bit his lip, trying to hold back his smile, but it didn’t work. It broke free again before Louis bounced his legs a bit. “You think so? I mean, I know he’ll understand what I’m talking about and everything, but like, you think it’s good enough to get a full song written for it?”

Harry nodded. “Yeah, absolutely.”

They sat in silence for a little bit, Louis alternating between sending smiles to Harry and writing in the notebook as Harry just sat and watched him from his spot on the sofa.

It didn’t take very long, before Harry had to ask the question that had been lurking in the back of his mind since Louis started reading the lyrics he’d written about such an important part of himself.

“Louis?”

Louis hummed, but didn’t look up from his notebook.

“Who’d you write the song for?” Harry asked softly.

Louis froze, his pencil stopping mid scratch, and Harry could practically see his entire body tense up.

“Sorry,” Harry apologised quickly. God, he was such an idiot, ruining this amazing moment with a question he had no right to ask. “You don’t need to answer. It’s okay. Sorry.”

Harry checked the time and stood up. “I should probably go.” He walked over to Louis and pulled him off of the piano bench so he could wrap him in a tight hug. “Thank you so very much for sharing this song with me. It’s beautiful already and I cannot wait to see where you take it.”

“Thank you for helping,” Louis said softly, squeezing Harry just as tight. 

For just a moment, Harry closed his eyes and leaned into Louis just a little bit more as he allowed himself to believe that the love he felt for the man in his arms was mutual. Maybe it was. Maybe Harry was the one Louis had written the song about, but Louis wasn’t ready to tell Harry either way, and Harry wasn’t sure he was prepared for the answer should he be wrong.

“My pleasure, Lou,” Harry said. Louis’ arms began to loosen, so Harry forced himself to pull back and give Louis a smile. “I’ll see you later, yeah?”

“Yeah,” Louis agreed as he walked Harry to the door. “A couple of days, if Liam’s able to get the studio he wants.”

“Good luck with the song,” Harry said. “And thanks for surprising me. It was great to have us all together again.”

Louis nodded, his head hanging down in the self deprecating manner he always adopted when he didn’t feel what he did was a big deal. 

“Just doing what a friend should. You had me a little worried.”

Harry reached over and squeezed Louis’ bicep in a show of appreciation before letting his hand drag down Louis’ arm the way he’d wanted to for so long. His skin was so soft and smooth, and it made Harry want more, but he pulled back before it was too much for Louis.

A deep, steadying breath later, Harry took a step out the door. “Well, thanks again, Lou. See you soon.”

Louis waved, and Harry got into his car and drove away, unsure of whether allowing himself to touch and cuddle Louis whenever he wanted was helping his cause or making Harry want more before he should be allowing himself to get attached to the feeling.

 

*~~***~~*

 

Harry had just taken off his shirt from his most recent pap walk with Jeff and Glenne when there was a banging on his front door. Harry checked his phone to see if he’d missed any messages, but nothing was there, so he was a bit at a loss as to why someone would be trying to knock his door down at nearly five on a Thursday.

When Harry opened it, Liam was standing there looking bewildered. He stared at Harry and shook his head to himself before forcing his way in and walking toward Harry’s den. 

Harry shut the door and followed Liam, talking to himself the whole time. “Sure, Liam. Thanks for coming to visit unannounced. Good timing on your part, I just got back from an official outing with Jeff and Glenne. Do you mind if I take a minute to grab a t-shirt and change out of my jeans?”

“Yes, yes,” Liam allowed, waving his hands at Harry’s bare torso. “Go and do what you need while I figure out what the fuck I’m going to say to you.”

Harry backed away as if he was trying not to spook a skittish animal and jogged to his room where he pulled on the first t-shirt he could find and his oldest, softest joggers. He wasn’t sure what exactly had Liam acting like a madman, but he had a feeling he would want to be as comfortable as possible physically to deal with whatever Liam was about to throw at him.

Harry had barely entered the den again before Liam asked, “What the hell are you doing to Louis?”

“I,” Harry got out as he opened and closed his mouth a few times trying to think of an appropriate response. “I’m sorry, I’m not quite following.”

“He saw your pap photos from who knows when, Harry. The ones where you’re wearing that t-shirt you two share. Why would you wear that in official photos?”

Harry had nearly forgotten he’d done that. Harry grimaced and blushed a little. “Did he mind, then?”

“Did he…” Liam’s voice faded away and he simply stood there, a look of shock on his face. “Did he  _ mind? _ Harry, I have to ask what you’re trying to do. Are you playing mind games with him or something? Did you figure out the song was about you, that  _ all _ his songs are about you, so you decided to tease him? Are you doing this to make him doubt himself? Because I’ve got to tell you, it’s bloody working!”

This time it was Harry’s turn to be shocked into silence. It didn’t last long though, because then his blood began to boil in anger. 

“You think I’m doing all of this as a joke?” Harry spit out through his barely contained rage. “What the fuck, Liam! What have I ever done to make you think I could possibly be so cruel?”

“I don’t know!” Liam shouted at him. “He’s a right mess. We were working on  _ Home _ and Niall showed him one of the photos of you wearing that shirt and Louis went into a total meltdown. What am I meant to think?”

“That I’m fucking in love with him!” Harry yelled. 

As soon as he realised what he said, he slapped a hand to his mouth and the blood that just a moment ago had been hot with rage froze. Harry closed his eyes and hung his head for a moment before looking up at his friend. This wasn’t how he meant to tell anyone, and Liam certainly wasn’t supposed to be the first to know, but at this point Harry didn’t know what else to do but admit it. 

“I do, Li. I love him.”

“Well he obviously loves you too, you fucking idiot, so what are you doing still standing here?”

Harry shook his head in confusion. Liam was a damn boomerang, flying one way before going in another. Harry couldn’t keep track of where he was or what he meant at this point.

“Can you say that once more? I’m not sure I heard correctly.”

Liam slowly walked across the room, placed his hands on Harry’s shoulders, and leaned in. 

His voice was more gentle than it had been since he got to Harry’s house when he said, “I’m telling you that your best friend, the one you are in love with, is currently crying to Niall because he thinks that you figured out the song he shared the other day is about you. He thinks you knew he has been pining after you since...forever, really, and that you’ve had enough.”

“That’s insane,” Harry said. 

“That’s what I told him,” Liam said. “I told him you were far too dense to figure it all out on your own.”

“Fuck you,” Harry said with a laugh. 

“I also told him you’ve been in love with him just as long.”

Harry sighed. How had Liam figured it out before he had? Harry really was dense. 

He ran his hands through his hair and quietly said, “I need to go talk to him.”

“Damn right, you do,” Liam said, patting Harry on the shoulder. “I’ll let Niall know you’re on your way. They’re at Louis’ house.”

Harry nodded and left as quickly as he could. While Harry sat in the ever present traffic that was holding him back from running to Louis, he began to realise what exactly he was doing.

He was going to go and confess his feelings. He was going to open himself up to the chance that Louis wouldn’t want him. Harry could end up utterly obliterated if this didn’t go how he was hoping.

But then again, Liam seemed pretty damn sure that the whole reason Louis was hurting and needing Harry to talk to him about all of this right now was because Louis loved Harry and didn’t think it was requited. Louis would sooner believe Harry was out to hurt him than think that Harry felt the same.

The rest of the drive found Harry trying to find the right words to say, but none of them fit. The traffic was letting him inch forward when Harry let out a groan. 

“If only I could fucking fly.” Harry fidgeted in his seat, doing the best he could not to lay into the horn because there really was nothing the people in front of him could do, before he considered what he’d just said.

_ If I could fly. _ Harry thought back to the line he’d remembered from when he was inspired and writing a little bit during his time in the other universe.  _ For your eyes only. _

Harry leaned over and opened his glove compartment where he always kept a notebook and a pen. 

 

*~~***~~*

 

In all, what was usually a drive that could last as long as forty-five minutes, Harry spent two hours writing what was a very rough draft of a song. He was going to need to work out some of the rough spots and find the right instrumentation for it, but he was overall quite happy with it. It wasn’t ready for Louis to hear it yet, but it had calmed Harry and helped him clear his head.

Harry finally parked and didn’t bother to knock. He knew Louis would have left the front door unlocked if he had Liam and Niall over.

“Lou?” Harry called from the entrance. He heard what sounded like Niall down the hall that lead to some of the bedrooms, so Harry walked in that direction. 

Harry turned the corner into the hall he thought he heard the voice coming from and found Louis walking toward him.

“Hey, Harry,” he greeted. He didn’t look surprised, but he  _ did _ look nervous. He was messing with his t-shirt and kept trying to fix his fringe even though he had his hair pulled back in a beanie. His red rimmed eyes also avoided Harry’s. “What brings you here?”

Harry heard Niall cough as he grunted out, “Smooth.” Louis rolled his eyes and Harry couldn’t help giving him a small smile.

“Think we could talk on your patio?” Harry suggested, hoping that would feel a little more natural. Harry wasn’t sure he’d be able to say anything of worth knowing that Niall was listening in on their entire conversation. 

Louis pursed his lips and nodded. “Yeah. You go on out, I’ll be right there. Just wanna finish my conversation with Niall.”

“Okay.”

Harry loved Louis’ patio. He had an amazing view, a great pool, and a fantastic back garden. Harry leaned against a short railing that lead to some stairs and just observed it as he tried to figure out where to start. Louis took a little longer than Harry had expected, but unlike in the car where he’d felt the constant need to move, write, and do everything he possibly could just to get to Louis, now Harry felt much more at peace. 

He supposed it was because he had reached his destination, but he also thought he would be a lot more scared than he was. He was about to profess his love to his best friend, after all.

“Sorry,” Louis apologised as he walked out to join Harry. “Niall didn’t want to go, so I had to force him out.”

Harry turned his gaze to his hands and he twisted one of his rings around his finger. “Was he that scared that I would hurt you and he’d need to pick up the pieces?”

Harry could feel Louis standing close behind him, but refusing to come any closer.

“No,” Louis said, tentatively. “I think it was mostly curiosity.”

Harry nodded. “I’m so obvious that before I even realised my feelings, Liam knew them. I’m assuming Niall did too.” Finally gaining the courage to look at Louis. His blue eyes were cautious and his mouth was in a firm line, but there was something about the way he was standing that made Harry blurt out, “Louis, I’m in love with you.”

Louis’ eyes went wide and Harry covered his face with his hands. How did that happen to him again? He couldn’t seem to keep his mouth shut.

“Fuck,” Harry groaned. His arms dropped to his sides and it was like a dam inside of him broke. “This is the second time today I’ve just blurted it out like that. I’m sorry, I meant to ease you into it or something?” Harry scrunched up his face in frustration. “I don’t actually know what I was going to do. I just knew I needed to get to you and tell you I love you. I didn’t know the song was about me until Liam said it was. But I just...well, I’ve had a really fucking weird last several days, that for me was more like several  _ weeks, _ but you’d never believe me about all of that anyway, and I just realised that-”

Harry was cut off when Louis placed his hand over Harry’s mouth, a wry smile on his face. “You are equal parts annoying and adorable when you ramble because you’re nervous.”

Harry blinked a few times before mumbling, “Thanks?” into Louis’ hand.

Louis let his palm fall to Harry’s chest, and Harry was suddenly incredibly scared that Louis could feel how fast his heart was racing. It felt like it was trying to make its way out of his chest to its rightful home in Louis’ hands.

“So you’re in love with me?” Louis asked, going a little coy. 

Harry was familiar with this routine, he’d seen Louis employ it when he was trying to get something he wanted. Harry had never had it used on him, though, probably because he already gave in to Louis’ every whim. Now, Louis was looking at Harry through his eyelashes, popping his hip a little, and dragging his fingers down Harry’s torso and Harry kind of felt like his knees might give out at any moment with that kind of attention focused on him.

“Y-yeah,” Harry stammered, swallowing thickly. 

Louis smiled, and Harry couldn’t hold back anymore. He lifted a hand and let his fingertips gently begin to trace the line of Louis’ jaw, feeling his scruff tickle his fingers. 

Harry bit his lip. He felt like his brain was filled with molasses and words weren’t coming as easily as they were before when he couldn’t shut up. 

Finally, he cleared his throat and asked, “Does this mean you aren’t...opposed to such feelings?”

“Definitely not opposed,” Louis said, leaning close enough so his breath left a warm trail on Harry’s cheek. “I’m quite in favour of them, actually, because I feel the same.”

Harry’s vision blurred around the edges as he felt his entire body slump in relief. He wasn’t sure what he’d been expecting, especially after Liam had already told him Louis felt the same, but it didn’t hold the same power as Louis saying the words himself. Not that he had yet, but he basically had.

“Did you really not know?” Louis asked, his face soft and curious. “I was so sure you’d known the entire time. I didn’t do a good job of hiding it.”

Harry shrugged. “I don’t think I’d ever really allowed the possibility to enter my mind, after we decided it wouldn’t go any further because of the band.”

Louis’ hand that had been tracing the design on Harry’s t-shirt for the past several minutes made its way up to Harry’s neck and wove into his hair.

“Harry?”

Harry hummed as he leaned his forehead to meet Louis’.

“Kiss me.”

Harry tilted his chin just enough to bring their lips together.

The kiss was familiar in ways that Harry hadn’t anticipated. It had been only days, in his mind, since he had kissed Louis in the hall outside of the flat he’d shared with Gemma, but as amazing as that experience had been, it was only a shadow of the kiss he was sharing now. The way that Louis moved and dictated the kiss was similar to not only that night, but also the kisses they had shared back on the X Factor. 

The first kisses they’d enjoyed when they were teenagers were exciting; thrilling in a way that felt new, like there was so much that they could explore together. 

The kiss with the other Louis was filled with the excitement of Harry’s realisation that he was in love with every incarnation of Louis that he could ever come upon.

The kiss now was like walking back into your bedroom after not seeing it for nearly a year to find everything in its place, just as it should be, with the exception of a few surprise gifts that were delivered in your absence. The way Louis kissed Harry was just as he remembered, but sometimes Louis would do something unexpected - pull gently on Harry’s hair, move his body flush with Harry’s, or even pull away to nip at Harry’s jaw - and they were the best gifts Harry had ever received.

Harry’s arms wrapped tightly around Louis and he held on as best he could as he tried to process the way his body was reacting to him. Every flick of Louis’ tongue caused the livewire that was slowly causing Harry’s entire body to ignite to explode, and Harry knew then, he never wanted to kiss anyone other than Louis Tomlinson for the rest of his life. 

Luckily, Harry had the feeling that this Louis, his Louis, felt the same. 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm still trying not to shake that this is live and out there and everything. If you're reading this, thank you so much for reading my longest work and definitely the work that took longest to come to fruition. I hope you liked it! If you did, please leave me kudos and a nice comment so I know about it. It's my lifeblood. I'd also appreciate it very much a lot of you reblogged my fic post, which you can find [here](http://lululawrence.tumblr.com/post/173105049703/back-to-how-it-was-by-lululawrence-harry-carefully). You can also find the BEAUTIFUL art the incredible Laura made for it in her post [here](http://harrehleh.tumblr.com/post/173104942806/back-to-how-it-was-by-lululawrence-harrylouis). Thank you again for reading!
> 
> Interested in helping support charities with fanfic? If you are, I could write a fic for you (including a sequel to this fic)! Check out the info [here on Tumblr](https://1dfanworksforcharity.tumblr.com/post/174494969280/1d-fanworks-for-charity-auctions-for-lululawrence).


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